new year's

Happy New Year everybody!  LOVE EVERYTHING!!!!

fallon for you

i was just thinking... it's probably not possible for a man to be more attractive than jimmy fallon.  he is so dreamy.  hey jimmy, raise your hand if you think i'm adorable too!

i knew he thought so

 that is all.

kids!

a few weeks back my sister was visiting with her family.  she has a son (james, 4 years old) and a daughter (caroline, 1 year old).  one afternoon caroline and i were hanging out.  she was walking through the living room and i had started an episode of the mindy project.  so she's walking through the room and the opening credits start to play...



she stops half way through what she was doing,  baby bounce danced in place while the song was playing and when the song ended she continued across the room.  it was just about the funniest thing i have ever seen.

it made me wish that people took opportunities to enjoy the moment like that more often.  you hear some funky music, you dance, end of story.

and now a story about james b/c this is seriously cracking me up for days.  i'm just going to share the exact message i got when i first saw this picture. hope you don't mind, michael!  anyway, here it is:

this made me laugh b/c I was like "who is that girl with my brother" and then I was like "wait, that's JAMES"

James smuggling potatoes.

 that's from when i visited idaho and kurg gave us a tour of the farm.  and that's my nephew creepin' on the picture and trying to sneak out potatoes.  ps, i totally think he looks like marty mcfly in that outfit, right?

 anyway, whenever i think about this picture i start laughing.  priceless.

dream a little dream

i've been having the weirdest mash up dreams lately.  odd combinations of people and places that don't belong together doing things they aren't supposed to be doing.  the mash up dreams are always weird b/c they involve a lot of people and places morphing.  like half way through a scene my brain will be like 'hold on, this isn't right...' and then the location changes or one of the people becomes someone else.  but this only makes everything more mixed up and weird.

tuesday night's dream started with me working at dave & buster's and ended with one of the trainers from disneyland teaching me the names of toy monkeys. 

last night involved a house with a series of rooms and when you opened the door on the other side of the room it led to a progressively smaller room but eventually that became no fun so they started leading to awesome rooms ending with a hot tub that looked like a natural spring and a water park style slide into a pool.  meanwhile, my sidekick was every tall male with brown hair i have ever known.

i got my bike yesterday!  i also got a flat tire.  and not the kind where someone steps on the back of your shoe.  that wouldn't have been so bad.  my car got a flat on the way to pick up the bike.  life likes to keep things interesting, for sure.

there it is!  totally adorable bike.  it has a light on the back for night riding and a caddy thing over the back wheel for holding my stuff.  what stuff, i'm not exactly sure but i'll figure it out eventually. 

esmeralda

andrew and i went to disneyland for a bit today.  after some rides and walking we decided to get some ice cream on main street.  while we were there we saw that box that has esmeralda the fortune teller.  it's a fortune telling machine similar to zoltar in big...

zoltar

esmeralda

anyway, andrew gets his fortune it's it's very generic 'follow your dreams and you will be happy' kind of stuff and i was expecting the same.  but it wasn't; it was very specific which made it super creepy.  so here it is:

Beware of the proposals made by a gray haired man, but take the advice and assistance that will be offered you by a middle sized and smooth faced one.  You will receive an offer to go to a small town and engage in business far different from the one now engaged in.  Accept it.  You will meet the one who will love you.  That love will be returned by you.  The first name of this person begins with M and you will be introduced at a place of amusement.

have i mentioned lately that i have a job offer for january for orem?  and it's definitely a different line of business.  ha.  but i'm pretty sure i'm not going to let esmeralda decide on my job for me.  also how would i explain that when i give my two weeks notice?  'well, i got this fortune on main street...'

anywho, i just thought i would share that because it cracked me up!

gotta hand it to me

hay!

whenever i see a picture of my hands and there is something in the picture to give them context for size, it freaks me out.  for example, the above picture.  please compare the length of my middle finger to the length of my face. like seriously, do i have alien fingers?  and why don't they look long when i look down at them on my hands??  it's so confusing.

one more example:

watch out my hands are as big as his body, no big deal.  side note, uhmm is my hairline always crooked?

is your family big black... friday shoppers?

i'm excited for thanksgiving.  not b/c i care about thanksgiving but b/c it means it's almost black friday.  i love black friday shopping... except, no, no i don't.  what i love to do is go to old navy at midnight and buy one pair of pajama bottoms.  this is my tradition that i do every year.  i also like to look at the jeans and then not buy any b/c they don't carry longs in the stores.

i really enjoy the traditions i have created for myself and i think it's a nice thing to do.  my pajama buying is up there with going to red robin for the free birthday burger on my list of favorite elaina traditions.

what are some of your favorite traditions?  hmm?

letter b, letter b, whisper words of wisdom, oooh letter b

hypothetically speaking these are mine

so pictured above are not blanks from the jungle cruise because those stay at the jungle cruise.  but hypothetically speaking if they were from the jungle cruise they would be the first two blank shots i fired from the first boat of guests i took on a tour.  what i love about my first two shots is the object lesson.  you see, all through training when i fired the gun, not once did i have a misfire... both blanks always went off, no problem.  but as you can see from the picture, this was not the case on my first boat.  one has fired and the other, well, it's a misfire.  a misfire basically means that the flat side has been struck by the gun but for whatever reason the explosion just didn't happen.

whenever i see them hypothetically sitting on my desk, it serves as a reminder that in life sometimes it's a hit and sometimes it's a miss.  even though you may have the exact same input sometimes the outcome is different.  you never know.  it's just the way of the road. 

i would love to turn these into earrings but somehow tying a shell with gunpowder to my head doesn't seem like the best idea.  LIFE!

i've been enjoying the new area at work... even working guest control throughout the park (which everyone swore i would haaaate.  actually that's probably why i like it so much.  just to be a brat.).  i am especially loving working fantasmic.  i met a nice guy working that show.  and when i say met i mean met and have unsuccessfully attempted to internet stalk (which is weird b/c i am reeeeeally good at internet stalking).  someone suggested i should go through the scheduling binder to try to find him in the park but i have not yet advanced to stage 2: real life stalking.  things to look forward to, i suppose.

i'm pretty sure the kitten sucks my life force.  she constantly want to be with me and that makes me want to be laying down.  kitten lethargy, coupled with how dark it is all the time has made me feel super lazy the last few weeks.  it's destroying my will to do anything.  the good news: i'm planning to get a bike soon and then i will be outside more often b/c i will be super excited about the new bike.  YAY.

so to recap:
bullets
boy
hiBernation
bike
BAM

imagiNation

one more thing.  so i was thinking about how everybody's imagination is set someplace different.  and i started to wonder about where my friends are and if it would be where i think it is.  here are some of the people that i had a pretty good idea of where i thought they would be.  of course i could be totally wrong but it's worth a shot...

abby already said her's is in amish country but i would have just imagined a field of wild flowers
lauren i would say is in a castle in scotland
micah is in mythological greece in outerspace
diane is on the deserted island pealcrest (or however it's spelled)
michael is at hogwarts
april is at a beach with palm trees where it's always sunset
little dan is in a starbucks with very comfy chairs
laurel is in a giant library where you have to use those sliding ladders to get to the books
and nate, well, nate is in the ball pit of a very fancy chuck e cheese's

these places probably aren't where you guys go to be alone with your imagination but it's where i hang out with you in my imagination. 

love, love, love

i love this song.  right now.  always.  all the time.  i wish it could just play around me every where i go.

up, up and away

i just remembered this... and it was one of the funnier things to be said to me this last week, so i thought i would share.

him: what's your favorite pixar movie... and i will judge you based on your answer.
me: uhmm, up.
him: judged favorably.

i'm still trying to find an ellie badge for trade at disneyland.  i don't want to have to buy one. btdub, ellie is totally a cute name.  in other news i found a watch that i want very badly.

who wants to buy that for me?  hmmm?  actually i will probably buy it for myself on friday b/c i love it so hard.  it's jungle mickey!

friends who don't judge

so i was just talking to a friend of mine and we were crying about life and this just cheered me up.  i told her she should get some chocolate milk for breakfast and this is what happened...

 

her: I may have a Snickers for breakfast. is that bad?

me: No, that's fine. I had a fun size snickers today while I was waiting for my food at Jack in the Box.

her: awesome!!

me: B/c I was all Hungry? Why wait?

Grab a snickers

From the backseat of your car

anyway, it is a total mystery to me why either one of us is single. you boys are missing out!

welcome to the jungle

i've finished training at the jungle cruise.  also i got offered both jobs i interviewed for while i was in utah.  it's always good to make life as complicated as you possibly can.  i'm not sure what i'm going to do but i'm pretty sure i'm in love with the jungle cruise.  a little?  no, probably a lot.  and the thought of leaving makes me feel like crying.  or is that just everything else?  i'm not sure these days.  i suppose i'm dealing with quite a lot right now.  i suppose.

this is what i realized after a few days of working in the jungle...

so in our imaginations we have a place we go to first.  i feel like the imaginary perfect world in each of our heads has a setting.  some people, they imagine themselves at the beach.  or an old castle.  or a deserted island.  or in the big city.  you get my drift.  but for me, it's always been the jungle.  i just never realized it until i was there.  until i was standing there in the trees and i realized, this is where i go to be happy.  i was standing inside my imagination.

which reminds me of something that happened during training.  i had the best possible trainer for learning the jungle.  the perfect teacher for me.  while we were at dinner on our last training day he asked me what i wanted to be when i grew up.  it took me a moment.  not because i didn't know.  but because the last time i honestly told someone they laughed.  it was that wretched guy i was dating a year or so ago.  so when my trainer asked i took a moment and i thought about what i would say and decided i would try the truth again.


i want to be happy, whatever that is.
and he said, i know what you mean.

good people like that... they're hard to come by.  good moments like that... are even more rare.  there's no way to ever explain to him how much that meant to me and i don't think i have to.  but it's hard not to treasure a person after something like that.

thursday will be 1 year since Uncle Mike passed away.  i'm extra weepy and probably will be for a while. i need people to be extra nice to me right now. ok, guys?

another embarrassing moment

so i just got back from the walmart.  that place is terrible.  the entire time random sales people follow you around trying to get you to buy cable or gym memberships or cell phones.  also some man tried to convince me that i should subscribe to the newspaper.  doesn't he know this isn't 1927??  get out of my face.  i had to talk to him for a long time (probably 30 seconds... BAH) about why i don't want the newspaper.  i should have just told him i was illiterate.  that would have been a good excuse.  but if you're going with that excuse you really have to lead with it.

anyway, i remembered another embarrassing moment that wasn't embarrassing but would have been if i was a normal person.  the reason i remembered this story was because today's google doodle is for the 161st anniversary of moby dick.

i think i would have been embarrassed when this happened if i wasn't so distracted by the fact that i was right and everyone else was wrong.  ok here it is...

so i was with some friends and we were discussing what you call it when you have multiple copies of the book of mormon.  i would like to have on the record that my current stance is that the plural of the book of mormon is "copies of the book of mormon."  the war we were having was everyone in the room against me.  everyone else was saying it is books of mormon and i was saying it was book of mormons.  i was clearly correct because you wouldn't pluralize a random word in the title.  you would use the last word.  the majority of the room stopped listening but one girl and i were still fighting about it and i was getting really angry.

and then in one of those moments when the room gets inexplicably quiet, i yelled 'it's just like moby dick... YOU SAY MOBY DICKS, NOT MOBYS DICK!!!'

at which point everyone stopped and stared at me while what i had just yelled sunk in.  and then half the people laughed and the other half said 'why did you just say that?!'  actually i think the halves switched back forth... taking turns laughing and then yelling at me.

anyway, i was totally right.  and i'm pretty sure they will all always remember that from now on.

but you don't have to take my word for it

i'm currently re-reading the harry potter series.  i find that the first three books will snap me out of whatever funk i am in.  and then after that it's just mostly depressing and overwhelming.  what has been most interesting to me is the difference in what is sad this time around.  you see, i read the books very quickly about 2 years ago... finishing them all in under two months.  and then a few months ago i re-read the first three book and decided that was good enough.  and then about a month ago i started re-reading the entire series and tonight i finished book 6 and will begin book 7 shortly.

the first time i read the series, there were two moments that made me sad.  the first was when dumbledore died.  i suppose it was mostly shock at that point b/c i did not see it coming at all (i had only seen movies 1 & 4 in the theater and hardly remembered them b/c it had been years... also i really didn't like dumbledore.  i think b/c i read the series so quickly it was difficult for me to trust him.).  and the second time was when dobby died.  that actually made me cry.  real book tears.

this time (keeping in mind that i haven't read book 7 yet) it was when sirius and harry are making plans for harry to go live with him.  there is just something so sad about seeing how happy they are knowing it won't last.  that in just about a year sirius will be dead and harry will be alone again.  this is exactly why people shouldn't know what happens in the future.  all it does is ruin present happiness.  ::shakes fist at time travelers::

the second sad moment was when fleur first sees bill after he has been attacked by fenrir the werewolf and she has that fight with molly saying 'you think bill won't love me anymore?'  i don't know why that made me cry but for whatever reason it was very touching.

good books are amazing.  they adjust themselves to where we are in life... they become what we need them to be.  they speak differently to us because they are alive in our minds and so we each connect with them differently.  i guess what i'm trying to say is...

BOOKS IS GOOD.

super friends - anne

i have a lot of super friends.  i'm hoping i will remember to do this on a regular basis and i'm hoping my super friends don't mind.  this week i would like to talk about my friend...

ANNE!

 i met anne when i moved to virginia.  the first time i remember meeting her was at the relief society birthday dinner.  she was wearing a white shirt that she wore to her sister's wedding and suzie was, of course (because the woman talked about nothing else), asking her if she had lost weight.  i remember thinking, this poor girl, she should just punch that lady.  but she didn't.  because anne is much nicer than i am.

me (gertie from et), anne (cupcake) and caitlin (a 1920s call girl)

she is much nicer than i am... unless it's black friday and you haven't been to sleep in what seems like days.  then she will go into the stores at the mall, yell that the clothes are fugly and over priced and you will have to convince her that now is probably a good time to be leaving... before the disgruntled american eagle employee calls security on two ladies who are probably too old to be shopping there anyway.

anne's sister, brenda, and anne at a tiny door that time we went to new york together

 anne always knows all the best places to eat.  in any town.  for any kind of food.  she seriously should have a show on the travel channel.  i wake up in the middle of the night craving the food of the places she has taken me to.  india k raja.  that pho place in richmond.  carrburritos.  she even suggested that crepe place we went to last week in orem.  not only that, anne is a wonderful cook and hostess.  she makes the best curry chicken salad.  i ask her for the recipe every couple months.  but it never turns out as good as when she makes it.  she throws the best parties... her parties are thoughtfully crafted around the person she is giving it for.  she always makes people feel welcomed and appreciated.

anne can always make me laugh and always has a word of encouragement to cheer me up and make me feel better about being me.  i'm so lucky to have her as a friend, though really i think of her more as a sister than a friend.  she is caring, compassionate and an all around wonderful person. anne is passionate about the work she does.  she will finish up her degree in library science in december.  she is one of the craftiest, most talented people i know and i'm always amazed at the things she is able to create.  i hope to one day go into business with her... basically i want her to make things i will sell them.  sort of like a sweat shop but hopefully a little nicer.

 if you already know anne, count yourself fortunate.  and if you don't know anne, keep your fingers crossed that one day you might be so lucky!


feel free to share your own anne stories in the comments!

reservations

i deserve for something really awesome to happen to me. *  i don't normally say i deserve things.  but this time i feel like i really, truly, deserve for something awesome to happen.

i declined a date. to a wine tasting. with a lawyer.  date, wine tasting, lawyer and me would all be in one unimaginably awesome sentence if i didn't enjoy using dramatic punctuation.  also, all those things would be together in real life if i wasn't trying to do better.  it took me hours, literal hours, to decline.  but i did.

in other news, but also the same news, men should learn to strike while the iron is hot.  :: mumble mumble if you weren't so slow mumble mumble::

hot iron = good time for strinking
six months later = you're too late, dummy, the iron is all cold and yelling about bad timing to herself

i don't know that i've mentioned this lately... but i really love honey boo boo.  i swear, i will cut anyone who says anything bad about her.  she's a funny, loving, charming little girl.  i totally understand if you don't want to watch her show, that's fine.  but seriously, calling a seven year old disgusting on the internet?  get out of my face.  and, uhmm, hello, ALL seven year olds are disgusting.  every last filthy one of them.  not all seven year olds use their time to promote anti bullying campaigns and collect toys to donate to poor kids in their community.  i admire alana and her family... they are themselves, they love who they are, they love each other, they enjoy spending time together and they love to help where they can.  maybe if more families were like that, people would be a little happier.  and they would spend less time on the internet making fun of little girls.

i start training for the jungle cruise on thursday.  also, maybe i will get a new job tomorrow.  once again,
hot iron = good
cold iron = bad
but things don't always turn out the way we expect them to.  and by 'don't always' i mean they 'never, ever do.'  it's just the way of the road, i suppose.  all in a day.

 

* yes, yes i realize awesome things happen to me all the time.  i am the queen of having awesome things happen to me b/c i control the universe with my mind.  however, i expect this to be a male interaction trade off.  do you hear me universe?

potato potaaato

yes, yes i do

so this last week i was in idaho and utah.  i had a super, duper fun to the max trip and you all should be jealous.  nbd. that stands for No Big Deal.  which, clearly, it actually is.  i decided i would like to do a day by day recap of the highlights.  ENJOY!

friday: woke up at 2:10 am and was on the road with donuts by 2:30.  around 7 am and a third of the way to idaho i realized i was very tired.  now keep in mind that i haven't had caffeine since june.  so i stop in the gas station and i saw the little 5 hour energy bottles and i decided i would try that.  for about the first 30 minutes it was amazing.  i said to myself 'self, this must be what it is like when a person who has a.d.d. gets drugs for the first time.'  and then my brain proceeded to do back flips.  and i got an itchy rash from my chest to my eyes.  but i was not sleepy throughout the drive... or for like the next 15 hours.  though after about hour 7 my speech was all crazy.  the good news is, i made it safely to idaho and at a reasonable hour.

don't we look like idahoans?

saturday: we went to chiz's.it was... not... what i expected.  but it was delicious.  they have the world's best ranch and they sell it at the grocery store and i was totally going to buy some... and then i forgot.  james and caroline each got a stuffed animal and james named them bubbles and... mr jesus.  the stuffed animals didn't come from chiz's but they did get them on saturday.

sunday: i almost said nothing happened on sunday but then i realized that was a terrible, awful, no good lie.  because the most amazing thing happened on sunday.  we toured the jeppesen family farm.  do you guys know where potatoes come from?  well, you wouldn't believe it if i told you.  it's something you have to see for yourself.  i assure though, it is INCREDIBLE.  sadly the only photo i currently have of that experience is the aftermath...

yum!

that picture doesn't really do the potato justice.  trust me it was amazing.  anyway, we got to dig potatoes out of the ground and drive around in a potato truck and see where they keep millions of potatoes and... everything.  it just was amazing.  farms are amazing.

monday:  we got annie!  i got to see my dear friend annie and she told me she was going to a hay maze later that day so we decided to go to the hay maze too.  we loaded everybody up and made our way over there.  the hay maze was... shockingly difficult.  we were in the maze for over an hour and never found our way out.  we used an emergency exit to get out and went home crying.  the crying was mostly because hay had fallen down the back of my pants and it was very pokey.

tuesday: i realized i lost my debit card in the hay maze.  YAY.  that made for a very stressful morning.  while i was searching the house, james (who had no idea what was missing, only that i was looking for something) said 'i took it and hid it and now you have to stay here forever.'  and i was worried that maybe i was going to have to stay there forever b/c how was i going to put gas in the car?!?  luckily i found a branch for my bank like half an hour away and i was able to continue on with my life.  i drove to provo.  had dinner with michael and his roommate... michael.  remembering things is very easy when you only have to remember one thing.  fact.  went to brianna's and had a quick catch up chat.  yay!

wednesday: had job interviews.  both went well.  from the interviews i learned that i type 55 words per minute and that my friends all think i am likable... which is good since they are my friends.  more later on the interviews, i'm sure.  in the evening we went on a very scary pirate adventure.

sooooo scary

and by scary, i mean not at all.  unless you count when michael and i almost got hit in the head by a tree.  the boat was propelled by a pirate man holding on to a rope system and pulling us along.  the man was either very strong or it is very easy to do b/c he also told us stories about pumpkins... and uhmmm... other stuff but i stopped listening before he got to the other stuff.  after that we met up with a handfull of other folks (rva reunion woo woo) at a crepe place and we all acted fancy and frenchy.

thursday:  i met mandy and her family for breakfast and we had a quick catch up session about what has happened the last FIVE YEARS.  it was amazing and fun and i adoooooore her.  and then i got on the road.

ELEVEN HOURS LATER

yay traffic in primm

I'M BACK AT MY HOUSE IN CALIFORNIA

THE END

embarrassing moments

so i like to record embarrassing moments as i remember them b/c i feel like i don't get embarrassed enough.

ok so this one happened when i was working at dave & buster's in san diego.  one of the other girls who worked in the office and i went to get lunch at a panda express and we were going to sneak it through the d&b to eat it in our office.

our boss was super paranoid about EVERYTHING (i don't think she knew we were working in an arcade) and told us we had to put the food inside d&b bags to hide it so no one would know what we had.  of course, i thought this was totally ridiculous but said i would do it anyway.

so we had our chinese food in plastic d&b bags and we're walking through the arcade and very loudly i turn to the girl who is with me and say "DOES IT SMELL LIKE CHINESE FOOD IN HERE?!?"  at which point the three men walking in front of me turn around... and they are, of course, three very angry looking chinese guys.

and then i don't remember what happened.  i think maybe i melted into the floor. the seems the only appropriate course of action.

and there you have it!

pile of good

i do nearly all of my best thinking when i am alone in the car.  tonight i had about an hour drive home and very little traffic, which meant it was the perfect time for discussions with me.

i had two main talks with myself tonight.

the first talked revolved around me being reminded that i really am a lucky woman.  i have some really amazing friends and family and i am extremely thankful to have them in my life.  i took some time to think of some specific friends and why they are so special to me.

- a friend who would do anything for me any time.  no matter how much time we spend apart, it's as though nothing has changed.  it's always comfortable and fun and i feel uplifted after spending time together.  a friend that i feel as though i've always know, always. and that i always will.
- a friend who is a reminder that sometimes friends aren't just friends but angels sent to help us and enrich our lives.
- a sister who can be a friend who is there through it all.  and understands some things in a way that no one else can.
- a friend who teaches me that sometimes you're batman and sometimes you're robin and it's ok to play either role (i'm still working on this one... i hate feeling like robin).
- a friend who can always make me laugh when we are in a room together regardless of the situation (and believe me, there have been difficult times).  a friend i don't feel the need to entertain but i always have the very best of times with.

and i would like share this:



and the second talk i had.

october 25 will be one year since uncle mike passed away.  sometimes i have flashes back to the hospital, to the icu, to that last, horrific week. and days when i can't handle it my brain screams 'stop' and i put it away and think about something else. and days when i'm feeling a little stronger, i force myself to push through and get myself to think about the good memories with uncle mike.  the times on the seesaw at grandma cathy's house. hiking in arizona. the time he bought me my first copy of a brief history of time.  i think about how he always made us laugh.  how he would say 'thank you ma'am, may i have another?'  how he loved to travel and experience life. loved to go to fancy restaurants and order red beans and rice.  loved to read and learn and be surrounded by good friends.  how he loved us, so very, very much.

it hurts and it's hard but it's better than telling myself to close that part off.  and it makes me think of the ways my life has changed since then.  the way my goals have changed.  and the dear friends who took care of me when everything happened (whether they knew they were or not).

the first month or so after he passed away, i cried every night and thought it would never end.  it was about 6 months or so later that i thought for the first time, one day i will stop being sad.  until that point, i just never thought that would happen ever again.  and now i'm at a point where i can push through to the happy memories... they still make me cry, i don't know that that will ever change.  but i feel like i'm working my way through.  grief and loss are big things to deal with. but as sirius once told harry, "but know this; the ones that love us never really leave us. and you can always find them in here. [puts his hand to harry's heart]"

one final thing, this has been stuck in my head

life

i was talking to a friend at work today and i told him about some plan i have and his response was something along the lines of 'you shouldn't do that... you're just going to be disappointed / get hurt.'

ok, for starters, i think it's a depressing outlook on life to assume that everything is always going to end badly.  like sometimes, things work out, ya know?  sure, usually they don't at all, but sometimes they do.   at some point in life i have to get what i want, don't i?

and then my next thought was, if i let the fear of being disappointed or hurt stop me from doing things i wanted to do, why then, i would never do anything... ever... at all.  i know things rarely (if ever) work out the way we expect them to. and i know that expectations vs reality is a cruel lesson we all learn over and over. but i don't think that should stop a person from taking chances, embracing change and, more importantly, being an agent of change in their own life.

the moral of the story: it's a good thing andrew doesn't tell me what to do.

along the same line of thought, i feel as though i'm finally getting to a point that i could settle down and stay a place for a while... if i found the right place.  and california is not the right place (side note: people who love california, or have never left california, will never understand this.  they are so blinded by their love for california that they don't see it for what it is.  and what exactly is it?  it's a place where some people love to live and others do not.) and i'm not exactly sure where the right place is, but i feel like a person should try to figure that out.

i would like to live some place that has seasons with trees that change (i am willing to exchange that for snow). a place that has a sense of community to it.  some place where you can ride a bike or go hiking.  a comedysportz team not too far away is important to me (that probably seems silly but it's really important to me). a diversity of cultural experiences should be available.  some good restaurants that aren't chains.  and some body of water that isn't too terribly far away.

and that's my list so far.  so keep an eye out for a place like that so i can move there. the current list toppers are seattle and salt lake city.  if you hear about job openings in either area, please let me know!

daisy chain

alright, i don't normally do this kind of stuff but since it's nate i haaaaave to.  so i got a message from nate (aka the teeth and / or the phantom pooper) saying he had given me the daisy award and to visit his blog for the deets.  in conclusion i must now share seven usual or strange things about me and then pass three other bloggers the daisy award... creating a never ending cycle of giving and receiving of daisies until the internet is just one giant daisy field.  or something like that.

1. i have a million dream jobs i would like to do: raising goats and making goat soap, radio dj, forest ranger, roller derby girl, author, painter, tap dancer, food truck owner, jungle cruise skipper and tons of other things.  i seem to be always coming up with something new to be when i grow up and i'm afraid there won't be enough time to do them all. but that doesn't mean i won't try.

let me milk you and make soap! please!

2. i have a long standing belief that i have a lisp.  everyone tells me i don't, but i don't believe them... so don't bother trying to fight me about it.

3. i read the harry potter series for the first time two years ago and quickly became obsessed.  and then i watched all the movies up to 7.1 (which was in the theater at the time). i have been to harry potter world in florida twice (once with friends and once by myself for christmas). i have been to a wizard rock concert. and i am in the process of reading the series for the third time.  i don't think of myself as any of the characters but several of my friends or not-so-much-friends remind me of the characters.  i had a roommate who i still swear was umbridge in the flesh.

omg, i love cats and being fake nice to people.

4. i have referred to myself as a gypsy since i was about 15.  moral of the story: be careful what you tell yourself.

they love gypsies in toyland.

5. i haven't eaten mashed potatoes since i was 4.  i had an incident that now makes that food look like puke to me and i have eaten them again.  because sometimes you make up your mind when you're 4 and you never change it again.  i actually am quite prone to dry heaving... usually from lack of sleep, too much excitement or one of my 3 trigger words (which all start with the letter s).

6. in general, people think i am pretty brave and fearless and i, generally, am.  except when it comes to anything that could potentially be physically dangerous.  like even a little bit.  when i see a spider or a lizard or a dust bunny that moves too quickly my lips instantly start to tingle.  which is my own personal version of my spidee sense warning me of impending doom.  i am also afraid of going under water, jumping off things, being too high in the air and pretty much anything else you can think of that might make a person hurt.  i'm not afraid of traveling alone or public speaking or giving away all my stuff and moving across the country.

back, you devil monster!

7. i have a long standing lie that i tell to people... that i met will ferrell one time when i was in new york.  that never happened.  but we did have some guy on the street tell us that will ferrell was filming a movie on top of the building we were standing near and that's why craft services was there.  and that's the truth of that story.  but i really did see meredith from the office on the subway in new york.  and mr schue really did make fun of me with his eyes for loving donuts in a museum in dc.

i swear, that's why we couldn't get a picture!

alright, i did it!  yay for me!  and now on to the tagging:

abby - she used to wear a cloak and was often subjected to my gypsy pounce.
brianna - she makes the best cookies... and anything else.
jessica - i once told her i hated all her shoes. and i did.

thoooooughts

so, i had intended on writing a bit about how angry i am about libya but i got distracted and found something i find much more interesting.

here are a couple excerpts from a website i stumbled upon while looking for something else entirely:

Accepting Imperfection

First of all, remember that losing idealistic perceptions or expectations, and replacing them with more realistic ones, are two very important components of human maturity. For example, our parents are much more limited in their capacity than we thought they were when we were children. The same is true with our teachers and leaders. The founding fathers of the USA were much more complex than we were taught growing up: Jefferson held slaves and may have fathered children with a slave, Benjamin Franklin was a philanderer, etc. Corporations can do both great and terrible things. The same applies to governments, schools and even charities. The world is imperfect. Any organization that is comprised of imperfect people is going to have flaws. The bigger the organization, the more likely mistakes will happen and the more serious flaws can become.
Even though it might strike really close to home, it’s a fair question to ask: Why should it be any different with religions or with religious leaders, past or present? If perfection, or anything close to it, is the standard for all organizations or individuals, who will ever measure up? No one will. If you already find yourself severely disappointed with or even disaffected from the LDS Church, it should be completely logical for you to no longer expect perfection from it in any real sense. You can simply drop this unrealistic, unhealthy expectation.

Can You Be Honest and Ethical and Stay?

Can you be an honest and ethical person staying in the Church if you really don’t believe everything? People bring up this question a lot. It has various permutations, but the essence of the question is this: People around you might think you are a true believer, or mistake you for someone who is very devout, when in fact you have doubts or do not believe everything. This worry is related to the issue of not caring what others think about you religiously. We mentioned that topic above. But this anxiety is the opposite problem. Some people have concerns about being honest or feel like they must walk around with a scarlet letter sewed to their clothing. The best advice we can give is to find a balance between being authentic and burdening everyone else with your problems.
Most people at Church have at least some doubts and concerns. Most people don’t do everything on the checklist. It is fine to talk about these concerns with people we really care to share them with. But it is far more positive and productive to focus on the common good and the common perspectives we share with others. Our beliefs are really nobody’s business unless by sharing we can reach out and help someone else.


i definitely recommend checking out the website b/c i think the topics it addresses don't just apply to mormonism but to anything in life that requires devotion. anyway, that's all b/c now i'm distracted by other things.  i found the website to be reassuring and positive and have an optimistic spirit. 

one final note, if you want to fight about mormonism... no thanks.  if you sincerely would like to ask me questions, go right ahead.  but i'm not dealing with negativity any time soon.

free sundaes!

on tuesday i signed diane and her children into disneyland.  it has been very hot here and so about half way through the afternoon we decided to stop to get a soda for diane and some water for me (have i mentioned that i have been off soda since early june?  i had a sip of diane's soda on tuesday and i thought my esophagus was burning.  crazy soda.  anyway...).  after some confusion and meandering we finally go up to the ice cream place and i order a large soda and a cup of ice.  the worker looks at me real sad and says 'no ice cream?' and i said nope and then she rings a cowbell and everyone starts clapping.

at this point i was totally confused and thought this is what they did every time someone ordered... which seems excessive.  but then the lady said we were the guests of the hour so we could have whatever we wanted for free.  it still seems like a dream or like maybe i'm making this entire thing up.  but here is a picture of our sundaes that i swear we didn't pay for.

who says there's no such thing as a free lunch?

anyway, it is now my belief that a person should never have to pay for ice cream at california adventure... taking into account michael's free banana split (though it's still hard for me to believe that he got it b/c someone didn't want sprinkles).

anywho, i just wanted to share with all of you the message that there is still joy in this world and that joy often comes in the form of a surprise free sundae!

talkin' about manors

i've got to tell you guys... facebook is kind of a jerk.  i never like to tell facebook anything about myself b/c it seems to hold all my personal information hostage and then try to use it against me later.  like whenever i tell facebook that i am single, it tells all my friends that i am single.  and then all my friends email me and say, 'wait, when were you NOT single?'  and that is totally the least fun way to start a conversation ever.  and i have to be like NEVER, GO AWAY. also, facebook likes to be like, oh single?  how about you try these online dating services? and i'm like talk to me when i have some cats (right now totally doesn't count... not one of the five cats i am currently living with is mine, ok?).

so here is what just happened between facebook and me.

facebook: hey there, you know it's like almost 1 AM, right?
me: yeah, i know... i would go to bed but i got lazy today and instead of going to the library to check out a new book i sat on the couch in my pajamas with the cats and watched toddlers and tiaras.
fb: oh ok.  i also noticed you're eating cookies right now.
me: uh huh.
fb: so i was just thinking... people you might know: your ex boyfriend! HAHAHA.
me: rude.

anyway, someone should talk to facebook about manners.  at first i typed manors.  someone should talk to facebook about manors.  and that someone should probably be wearing a top hat and a monocle. 

maybe this guy can do it

fun and games

you know how sometimes you're like 'i want to find a new job' and then life is like JOBS! that's how things are right now. mostly in that, i am applying for jobs and no one has hired me yet but i think they will soon.  you see, my plan is to apply for like a million jobs and then i will have like 6 job offers and everything will be so confusing and i won't know what to do.  because that sounds awesome.  i do actually have an interview for the jungle cruise.  my plan is to go work at the jungle cruise so i can check that off my bucket list and then continue in my job search for a grown up job.  yes, this is, indeed, my plan.

i'm looking to move out of california.  so if you know of any cool places to work where it is cheap to live, hit me up.  or if you know any rich guys who want to marry me, that works too.

hey guys, i'm just going to say it this one time, but i really think you should all be watching 'here comes honey boo boo.'  i just really feel like it's important.  i'm not going to nag you.  it's just really important to me, ok?

i just googled myself and i didn't find anything interesting.  first person to send me a link of something about me from google that isn't a social networking site or comedysportz wins a prize.  and if all you can find is comedysportz, i might still let you win if it's interesting.

my stomach lining

so this is mostly going to be about food today.  b/c i'm having a terrible time with food lately.  i don't know what the deal is.  if you had asked me 6 months ago what foods i am allergic to i would have said 'uhmm maybe kiwi.' but now, it's like 'uuuuuh i think everything...?'  how does that happen to a person?

every food doesn't make me have like a super reaction but most stuff makes me just sick enough to not want to eat anything ever.  so i'm pretty sure i have reactions to beef, anything with caffeine, nuts, dairy and gluten.  i'm not willing to deal with the entire gluten thing at this point... especially since it's one of the foods that i seem to just be sensitive to instead of making me feel like i'm dying (i'm looking at you beef).  anyway, i feel like the more stuff i stop eating the more food makes me sick.  what's the about, hmm?  so at this point there isn't anything i like to eat (i loathe iceberg lettuce so generally salad is the worst thing in the world) and i've become one of those picky people who never knows what they want to eat.  i'm basically just eating chicken salad and then crying the rest of the day.

according to the internet this all means that i'm dying.  but the internet has been known to overreact. 

i'm home alone this next week with all the animals.  and i swear they are being bigger jerks than normal.  if anyone wants to come over and entertain the kittens for a bit that would be great.  yesterday i went into their area to give them food and instantly had four kittens attached to my legs.  ugh.

fingers crossed, hopefully i will get to go to the fair on thursday!

camping

so i found this picture today and i have decided that i really want to go to arches national park.  aaaand i would love to camp there.  who wants to go, hmmm?

the last time i went camping was right before kevin left on his mission and it was for only 1 night.  and now kevin is back so that means it's been over 2 years.  and i can't even remember when i went camping before that.  maybe shortly after high school.

i don't have a tent.  but i have an ax and a battery powered lantern.  that's what i'm bringing to the table.  also, i'm willing to cook and give suggestions as to why you can't start a fire.  so think about it, everybody.

city walk!

we went to city walk

so nate just sent me this picture from when he and erica were in california.  this is us at city walk after we had dinner in the food court.  yuuum food court.  but seriously, i miss all these people... SO much.  love you guys!

gypsy

lauren showed me this song.  i've always been part gypsy.

the other day a friend asked me when i was going to start doing something that was more my pay grade.  i've come to think of my time in california as an extended vacation.  it's funny how a lack of responsibility  makes you unaware of the passage of time.  it has also made my skin clear up, drop some weight, tan up a bit and think about the things i do and do not want.

mostly i've realized that i will never be happy in an office job.  or anything that focuses the work day around a computer.  but i also need a job with concrete goals... i way to measure whether or not i am succeeding.  i need interaction with people (people who are uplifting and intelligent), whether it's coworkers or clients.  i also need to be in a place where there are people who are smarter than me (disneyland has definitely taught me that it is kind of terrible to always be the smartest person in the room.  i know, that makes me sound like a jerk but YOU DON'T KNOW ME and, more importantly, you don't know my coworkers).  i prefer a non-traditional schedule and to be working more than i'm not.  i've also learned that i can get by with little and really the only thing i miss is the money to travel (though it may have been wise to save, i am so glad i traveled when i lived on the east coast... the memories and experiences are worth way more than the money will ever be).

in conclusion, i believe a sales / marketing position for something i am passionate about is probably the route that will make me happiest.  now i just need to figure that out at some point and i'm golden.

in other news, i rode a bike yesterday for the first time in ages.  i didn't realize how much i had missed it.  at some point i need to save all my pennies and buy a bike.  i'm not in a terrible hurry since chino hills is just about the worst place for trying to ride a bike, with all the hills and terrible drivers.  but i probably won't always be living in chino hills, simply judging from my history of living places.  anyway, as we rode through the neighborhood in fullerton, i felt like i was living in a movie scene and that surely joseph gordon levitt would pop up shortly.  he didn't but it was still a nice moment.

i'm a mistake maker.  i believe in making mistakes and making them often.  but i also believe in acknowledging your mistakes.  there is hardly anything in this world that i hate more than a person who never  is willing to admit that they have made a mistake or pushes the blame off on other people.  here is a thing people should practice saying "yes, i made a mistake.  what could i do different in the future?"

just because it cracks me up

that's brittany on the right.

and now brittany's son on the right... must be genetic.

on top of the world

man!  i wish something would happen in my life that would make everyone say congratulations to me a lot.  hahaha. i was just looking at my friend's wall... he got engaged and a million people posted saying congrats and i want that many congrats.  i like congrats.  i also like conga rats.

yeah ya do.

sunshine has decided she wants to drag the kittens around the house now.  she is being a nutter.

do you know what i love?  the library.  the end.

today i was off from work in the evening and i got to cook dinner.  it was pretty much the most amazing thing that has happened to me lately. actually, that's not true at all.  but it was nice to be able to cook dinner.

one time i went camping and a giant raccoon came by and tried to eat me.  another time i went camping and my friend and i got scared when the guys left and so we stood back to back with one of us holding a light and the other holding an ax.  for no reason.  i'm really glad we didn't have to fight anyone using an ax.  that would have been terrible.

i learned about this song from michael this past week:



and now it's playing on the commercial for that show on lifetime about the conjoined twin girls.  i like to call that band magic dragons... because it's just a better name.  anyway, the song makes me want to dance.

diane and i have been doing the hills the last couple of weeks.  it's been very intense but also very exercise-y.  if anyone wants to do that, i'm sure diane would be willing to torture more people.

who wants to skype??  me, i do!  lets do this!

cloudy with a chance of money

this last week has been crazy go nuts.  i'm not going to recap because, seriously, way too much stuff happened.  and i didn't take any pictures.  and as brittany says, if the blog has no pictures, it's just a diary.

i stole this picture from michael:

lots of cloud cover

that's from when we were on lets make a deal.  the episode will be on tv on halloween.  and we will be on tv the ENTIRE episode.  and our costumes cost all of $10 for the four of us and took about an hour to make.  i'm pretty proud that i came up with them. stroke of genius, if i say so myself.   anyway, the episode is pretty awesome and you're going to want to watch it.  FACT.

i also saw anne and had a delicious shaved ice snow cone.  and my phone broke on splash mountain.  nate and erica were in california (they were on lets make a deal too).  i got to stay with brianna at her house for a few days and we watched strictly ballroom and ate chocolate chips cookies that she baked (it's so nice to have a friend who can make cookies, since i can not at all).  i saw a variety of the missionaries who served in richmond at brady's wedding.  i also got to see abby and her family.  her girls are adorable.  little ava loves freckles, so i am a fun person for her.

ok that's all for now.  welcome back, blog!

a perviously unpublished post...

i just found this post that i had started writing months ago.  i'm assuming i had other things to say but got distracted.  anyway, i just read this and it cracked me up.  two sentences can say a lot...


so i just walked into work and the gm called me funny bone. add this to the list of nicknames that i'm not ok with.

high fives

i haven't posted in a while.  i suppose i've been "busy".  busy is the word i use when i don't actually want to explain what's going on (not that anything is going on in particular... it's just boring).  feel free to call me on that in the future.

i wanted to post a link for Terry's blog so there it is.  that links to an article of her's i read yesterday that i found very interesting.  terry is dave's wife.  dave is the artistic director for the comedysportz in richmond and i love them both dearly.  i wish i could be them when i grow up.  anyway, i thought the article was interesting. 

this will make more sense after you read the article but my thoughts from it were that what i find most difficult from walking away from a dream is other people's reactions.  for the large part, i don't mind changing direction in my life.  i'm probably one of the few people who doesn't hate change (or is just that people who hate change are just so vocal about it?).  in fact, i love change.  it's often painful and scary but i guess i'm into that.  but it seems when you decide to change directions there is always someone standing there ready to say "but what about such and such plan you said you had?"  my outlook on it is summed up in something i say regularly... the great thing about having your own mind is you can change it whenever you want.

and i do.  i was thinking about this yesterday.  trying to draw the distinction between being a quitter and knowing when to walk away.  i think it's really about knowing your motives behind leaving.  and sometimes it's not that a dream isn't still cool or fun it's just that something else becomes more important.

i was also thinking about being wrong yesterday.  hahaha.  just the other night i had something happen and i realized i was totally wrong about something and so i admitted it to myself and then to the person who i had convinced to believe wrong things with me.  that's a far more complicated way of saying what i was trying to say but oh well. 

this is one of the traits that i'm really glad that i have.  i know that i'm often wrong and i'm willing to admit that and then make the changes that need to be made.  i don't think there is anything wrong with being wrong.  it means you're thinking and making choices.  and as long as you keep thinking and making choices eventually you will get somewhere.  to where exactly i don't know.  i'm working on it i guess... give me some time.  i just know that you get further in life by deciding things and trying it out than just sitting around doing nothing. 

the other day i was thinking it must be fun to be a southern baptist and then i realized that everything i know about southern baptists is based on country music... mostly that song "what i love about sundays" or whatever it's called.

i've been thinking about dudes lately and trying to come up with a list of things of looking for.  here is what i've got so far:
hard working
kind
direct
doesn't flip out over small things (like when plans change or things don't go right... b/c plans always change and things never go the way you expect them to and i can't take the stress of a person who doesn't know that)

and i suppose that is it so far. 

sunshine should be having her kittens any day now.  kittens!

get your kicks

i know it wasn't too long ago that i was saying i was almost at 10,000 page views.  and now i'm nearly to 11,000.  that means i'm averaging about 8 views a day since i started this blog.  with leaves me this question: who in the world is reading this??  say something so i feel less stalked!

ok, as promised here comes some pictures of cars land (in case that video was too sicky for you).  it definitely made me sick.  or maybe it was the hot dog and powerade overload that i had for dinner.  at any rate, i am a woman of my word, if nothing else and so here you go.  there are a few other pictures of other things too... b/c i go above and beyond for the 11,000 times someone is looking at this.

route 66.  the start of our journey.

my drawing of goofy.  though honestly, he looks naked without his hat.

the special light up mickey ears i wrote about before.  only $24.  save your pennies!

my minnie mouse.  the entire thing turned out narrow.  weird.

welcome to radiator springs!

stanley!

the story tellers statue.  a young walt and mickey make their way to california.  love it.

route 66 at night

ok that's all the pictures for now.  enjoy!

radiator springs

here is a quick video of radiator springs racers. and below is my attempt at making a walk through tour of radiator springs.  warning: i'm walking through and the video is super shaky and will give you motion sickness.  also, i took this on my ipod so the it's cut into short segments and i didn't really line them up right so it repeats part of it and a section of it is cut out in the middle.  but you can get the idea of what's going on. and don't worry... i don't actually run into the pole.  you'll see what i mean.

watching these videos makes me realize i'm really tall.  i don't notice when i'm just being me.