boots and pants

mb is moving to dc so the ladies (mb, jenny and i) went to galaxy diner. that's my dinner from tonight. an omelette with hashbrowns and a biscuit and a chocolate malt. it was the absolute best way to wrap up the evening after comedy sportz practice. hanging with the ladies, eating delicious rva classics and beatboxing.

that's right, beatboxing. while i was at tournament i decided that it was my new goal to learn to beatbox. i've been asking around for help and it turns out that mb is a really good beatboxer. i was super impressed.

i've been practicing for a couple hours and right now i can mostly just spit on everything and get light headed and start dry heaving. i'm not sure people can rap to that, but hey it's a start.

it's hard to be a lady beatboxer. i don't know what it is, but it seems like us ladies aren't really taught how to make weird noises as children. and we really aren't taught how to make weird noises loudly. but i don't care. i don't care about any of it. i'm going to be the best lady beatboxer there ever was or ever will be. when i die my tombstone will say 'here lies elaina, lady beatboxer extraordinaire, boooobooooo keeer cheeer boooboooo keeer cheeeer.'

boys, auditions and a pep talk!

do the dude is back. i'm pretty sure the dude is just around in my life to make sure i maintain a consistent level of neurotic behavior. it's quite charming, i'm sure. anyway, the dude popped back up last week as i was driving to my audition.

the interaction didn't go as he planned, i'm sure b/c i was taken by surprise by his arrival and claims of best friend-dom.

anyway today i asked him f he wanted to get together some time this week and he said yes. i said when are you free? and... no response. and he wonders why i act crazy when he is around.

in other news the audition went really well. we were all in tears with the laughing and they are definitely interested in me performing in their october show. i will start working with a producer soon to put my piece together. i'm super excited.

a girl like me shouldn't let herself be driven crazy. especially not now that your jaw line stress acne is starting to clear up! pull it together woman!

donuts make me go nuts

so a week or so ago i told jimothy i would take him to my favorite donut store. you see, the donuts in virginia aren't like the donuts in california. in california you have cute little mom & pop donut shops on every corner. here, you have krispy kreme and dunkin donuts. the end. it's awful. the donut situation is a real let down, except for...

country style donuts.

this place is amazing. so after months and months of us talking about it, i finally scheduled a time in my blackberry to get donuts with him. it literally said in my blackberry 'donuts with jimothy.' i'm really hoping my boss didn't happen to look at my calendar for the that evening. anyway we make the half hour drive out to the donut store and...

it's closed.

why?

because it's closed every monday. did i know that? YES. this was the third or fourth time that i had driven the half hour to this donut store to arrive and realize BAH it's monday and they are closed.

we were both really sad and decided to stop at dunkin donuts on the way home in hopes that it would be just as good.

we get out donuts, head to his house and settle in and start watching mystery science theater 3000. i grab a donut (i think it was maple) and take a bite. and then i started crying.

i was actually crying tears of sadness. the donut tasted like what i can only describe as despair. the donut was despair flavored, people... you would have cried too.

anyway, today i was working at a hotel by the airport that is about 3 miles from the donut shop... i double checked my brain to ask whether or not today was monday and it turns out... today isn't! i got inside the donut shop and got roped into a half hour long conversation about the economy and how terrible children are and social security with two old guys. eventually i was able to get the donuts and get out.

i'm meeting jimothy for dinner. i'm planning to bring the donuts. i'm going to tell the waiter it's jimothy's birthday and those are his birthday dessert. b/c i'm a liar and i want to be able to eat the donuts some place that isn't a parking lot.

and hopefully tonight i will be crying tears of joy.

we wear nice shoes

this past week was comedy sportz tournament.
it was a fun experience. a lot of learning and playing and just generally running amuck.

i learned a lot about myself and about improv. i also have come to terms with the fact every picture ever taken of me performing will have me making a funny face. because i stand around making funny faces.
and i'm ok with that.
clearly.

silly willy nilly old bear

ooooook. i saw winnie the pooh this morning. super cute. buuuuuuuut more importantly, i saw the preview for the muppets movie.

CAN

NOT

WAIT

look up the trailer on youtube when you have a chance. it makes me so happy whenever i see it! i just want to bounce up and down.

the little movie before winnie the pooh was super cute. it was about the lochness monster and how it's ok to cry b/c sometimes you figure things out when you cry. such a cute little cartoon.

woo girl

the other day my boss went to refer to me as "the new girl" but by mistake said "the crazy girl" instead. that cracked me up. she was like oh wow, i'm really sorry. whatevs. they really like me there, so that's good. on friday my boss decided that we're going to go on a roadtrip to florida some time soon. so she may think i'm crazy but she must also think i'm awesome. i can accept that.

i pick up random manerisms all the time. the latest is shrugging to my own thoughts. i'm trying to get me to stop doing it. but that seems to only make it worse. i'm wondering where i picked that up. hmph.

man, i'm super obsessed with the show ghost adventures right now. i love it b/c a few nights a week they play it for like 4 hours in the middle of the night. so it's awesome b/c i get to see it regularly. but even better than that is zak bagans. ok so zak is a good looking fellow. not exactly my type (he's lacking in the facial hair department) but he's still a handsome fellow. but the best thing is his reactions. he's always like look at the hair on my arms! or feeling energy going through himself. i don't know... it's just hilarious. if you haven't seen that show, please check it out.

i hate the commercial for the perfect meatloaf pan. gross. why do we need meat in a loaf? why do we have to cover it in ketchup? why can ketchup also be spelled catsup? i just don't get it.

i was watching an interview with anthony bourdain (LOVE him, beeteedub) and he was talking about how americans eat too much crap ground meat. i agree but i also love cheeseburgers. that's life.

anywho, tomorrow is my audition / screening for the mortified project. I feel kind of like this isn't the greatest decision but this is the second time i've signed up so i need to just do it. the mortified project does dramatic readings of things you created when you were under the age of 21. i have my journals from my high school theater class that i'm going to do readings from. i don't know why i get myself into these things.

comedy sportz is going well. hey did you know that pterodactyl is spelled like that? b/c i didn't. that the silent p? tuesday we go to tournament. looking forward to it.

i'm pretty upset that rebecca black took friday off youtube. it mostly makes me angry b/c that song has been stuck in my head for about a week and i can't listen to her sing it. what a let down.

hmmm.

whenever i try to do a southern accent i sound like foghorn leghorn. it's so weird. if anyone wants to help me with that ::imagine a southern accent aka foghorn leghorn speaking:: i would be much obliged.


so i just decided that my favorite episode of the twilight zone is kick the can. some of my favorite quotes:


Maybe the Fountain of Youth isn't a fountain at all. Maybe it's a way of looking at things. A way of thinking.


There is magic in the world, I know there is. When I fell in love with Mary, kissed her for the first time, that was magic. When my boy was born, that was magic. Friendship is a magic thing. Maybe I'm right, Ben. Maybe Kick the Can is the greatest magic of all.


Ben, you're afraid. You're afraid of a new idea. You're afraid to look silly. You're afraid to make a mistake. You decided that you were an old man and that has made you old.


Charles: You believed in magic then...
Ben: Me? Magic?
Charles: Yes you did. When we walked on different sides of a street lamp you'd say "bread and butter" and when your baby teeth came out, you'd put them under the pillow for the tooth fairy. Yeah, you believed in magic. What happened, Ben?

too much!

i'll be the first to tell you i'm not a very patient person. i'm not particularly fond of animals or children or people who annoy me. not that anyone enjoys people who annoy them... but i have a very low threshold for tolerance.

the thing that drives me nuts lately has to do with the fit, my new car. i've never owned a hatchback before. i never realized how close people pull up behind me. especially dudes in trucks. anyway, before i had the trunk space to prevent people from pulling their car into the back seat of my car. now i have nothing.

if i look in my rearview mirror and the only thing i can see is the grill of your car... YOU ARE WAY TOO CLOSE.

i was super tempted to get out of my car and punch the guy behind me today. 'hey bud, don't you know this is a new car? get your ugly truck away from it before i rip your headlights out!'

definite shortage of patience lately.

last night i went to get some breakfast in the middle of the night. because that's how i do. i was driving jimothy home when some random car decided to run a light and pull out right in front of me. i slammed on the breaks and didn't run them over. a normal person would shout out some expletive but as we all know, that's not my style. instead i say to jimothy 'it's a good thing i just had eggs!' i'm still not totally sure what that means. i'm sure there was some chain reaction in my mind that made that pop out of my mouth but i can't remember what it was.

i'm watching the twilight zone. man, i love this show. it's even better than ghost adventures (which is like my all time favorite show to watch in the middle of the night). i really wish someone would just go about making the exact episodes of the twilight zone again exactly like they are but let me be in it. that seems like a good plan.

anyway, it's the fourth of july. and i was born in this country. just like springsteen. so, happy 4th of july!

why would anyone ever need TWO slice-o-matics? i can see needing one, but two? do you need to double fist slicing vegetables? how many sliced onions do you need? are you having some sort of crazy bbq where everyone demands mounds and mounds of sliced vegetables? because maybe you should get some less pushy friends.

so i'm watching this twilight zone marathon, right? and they keep coming up with crazy euphamisms and ways to get around saying drunk. it's pretty funny.

this episode is about a couple who was driving home from a party and when they woke up they were in a city that was like a movie set. the lady thought that maybe they had died and had gone to hell. just then they hear a train and the man says "did you ever hear of a railroad in hell?" that cracked me up... because why wouldn't they have a train in hell? the lady looks a lot like amy poehler.

WAIT

did amy poehler steal my idea about remaking the twilight zone?!?

"and the moral of the story is: if you drink don't drive. and if your wife has had a couple don't let her drive either." thanks twilight zone!