cream cheese

disclaimer: this post says "asshole" a lot. so don't let any five year olds read it. do five year olds know how to read? meh.

i think maybe i just hate people lately. b/c everyone annoys me. here is a list of things i find annoying about people:

1. people who are assholes.
2. when girls tell me the junk food they ate and how much of a bad person it makes them.
3. when people think they deserve things they haven't earned.
4. people who think being a medium sized fish in a small pond makes them awesome when really it just makes them an asshole.
and finally
5. people who talk crap about other people

so pretty much what i'm saying is lady friends, i don't want to hear about your diets anymore, i need a break. and improvisers, stop being assholes, i also need a break from that.

the good news: teen wolf is on and i just heard this bit of wisdom:

Coach Finstock: There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

now that's a lot of colons.

new girl

so i watched this and i decided i would answer the questions too... b/c i'm just as adorable as her! it's too bad i don't have a video maker thing.

#10 do i have an hidden talent? i'm really good at navigating public transportation.

#9 favorite food? pizza, duh!

#8 least favorite food? mashed potatoes.

#7 biggest fear? facial disfigurement.

#6 my hero growing up? barbie.

#5 favorite thing to do for fun? sit in the grass and eat ice cream.

#4 favorite tv show? ghost adventures.

#3 if i wasn't an actor... well, i'm not. but my dream job is to be a skipper on the jungle cruise at disneyland. or a princess. i do a really good princess voice. and then i would be on saturday night live.

#2 place i'm dying to visit? ok, philly, locally. and then london. and ireland. and india.

#1 what one thing can i not live without? chapstick.

wooopwooooooop

if you didn't know by now... i'm special. friday night we performed in the downtown raleigh improv festival. it was a lot of fun and we did a good show. about half an hour before we were going to start the show we were all sitting in the back eating dinner. i had a bottle of coke that i was drinking. i go to open it and it sprayed everywhere. i have never seen a soda spray like that. it was like someone dropped a mentos in. i was covered in coke from my shoulders to my knees. dave swears he saw me almost drop it and then catch it right before i opened it. i really don't remember that happening. but that's life... some days you're covered in coke. all in a day.

in other news improv makes strangers love me. the man who owns the pho shop saw a show and now i can never go to the pho shop ever again. i've realized i can never be an actual famous person... b/c i don't enjoy having strangers come up and talk to me when i'm out.

i'm macerating some strawberries right now.

next week i will be in ct for training. i'm hoping everything goes ok. i'm also hoping i will get to go into nyc for dinner one night. a few days after i get back from ct, i'm going to ca. i'm really excited to visit. and to go to mickey's halloween party. mickey mouse. mickey mouse is my friend. the end.

lists

things i don't like:
*when people say someone is a character
*when a lady says she is sick and someone says 'maybe you're pregnant'
*mashed potatoes


things i like:
*disneyland
*old goofy movies
*gingerbread


things i'm neutral about:
*flipflops
*apple juice
*going to movie theaters

did you hear that?!? shhshhhshhh!

i'm willing to admit it. i'm addicted to ghost hunter shows. it started with ghost adventures. i started watching it b/c the guys were hilarious and goofy and i'm into that. they *never* actually find anything that is even some what impressive. if anything the show just proves that people don't actually see ghosts.

and then i saw ghost hunters.

have you guys seen this show? they get ghosts to turn flash lights on and off. and they record it. usually on these shows they're like 'man i wish we had the cameras rolling...' but on ghost hunters they will be like 'hey ghost, turn on this torch' and BAM light on.

is no one else concerned? and obsessed?

at any rate i'm totally dead to the world whenever one of these shows comes on. and luckily it's fall, the scariest season of all, so these shows are on a lot. the wife of one of my co-worker's goes on ghost hunts in real life. my co-worker has gone a couple times and said it's really boring. i'm glad it's boring and hopefully that will stop me from ever actually going on one.

besides i'm totally afraid of everything. especially the dark. speaking of which, i saw dont be afraid of the dark last night. that movie was so scary that a couple times i thought was going to throw up. did you catch that? i was so scared i almost puked. i had to keep telling myself 'it's just a movie, keep breathing.' and that's really why i should never try to go on a ghost hunt expedition adventure of doom.

i get my eyebrows threaded. if you currently get your brow's waxed i suggest trying threading. my eyebrows look so much better when they're threaded.

i bought my plane tickets today. i will be in california for 10 days and i'm super excited. it's going to be amazing.

also hobo baby was born a couple days ago. she looks adorable and chubby. i'm excited to meet her!

she bangs, she bangs

so i woke up this morning with the clap o'meter song stuck in my head. i think i've only heard it once and the words are just "here comes the clap o'meter" over and over. and because of this i think i can plead insanity for what happened this morning.

you know how sometimes you think to yourself 'this is a bad idea... but i'm going to do it anyway' and then you realize you are holding a fist full of your hair that is no longer attached to your head in one hand and scissors in the other hand?

yes, me too.

so i cut my bangs this morning. it was a bad decision. i mostly was hoping that it would just turn out ok by some sort of miracle. i did it in one big slice. i've never in my life cut hair before. unless you count that time when i was 6 and i was mad at my sister and i cut a chunk out of the middle of her bangs. i don't count that. she probably does, though. at any rate my entire head is pretty much a disaster now. i'm thinking i should buy a box of brown hair dye tonight... and then maybe no one will notice the crazy cut. *if anyone reads this soon, please stop me on the hair dye idea*

i'm coming to california in about a month. hopefully all my hair grows back by then. speaking of california, should i rent a car while i'm there? do people in california still use cars? it's been so long!

the good news is that it is likely that cutting my own bangs is probably the dumbest decision i'm going to make today. probably. *if you would like to help me make more dumb decisions today, i'm game.*

roads? where we're going, we don't need roads!

so i met biff from back to the future aka tom wilson. biff of the 80s and i totally would have made an adorable couple, as you can tell from this picture. and he was hilarious. here is a clip of one of the songs he does. you will enjoy it.



i'm going to be making a trip out to ca soon-ish. i'm coming out for a week in october and i'm *super* excited. hobo baby should be arriving any day now so i will get to see her and hopefully everyone else, as well.

ok that is all.

he's a fighter!

so no updates have happened in a while. i know, i'm sorry. i've been... busy. there's the new job that is not really new anymore, the earthquake, the hurricane, the improv, the relationship that came and went, shaking hands with biff from back to the future, dance mom marathons, visits from asia and so on and so forth. there are babies to be had and parades to plan and festivals to attend and tap lessons to take. and also the general feeling that everything and nothing are happening at the same time.

anyway, that's my reasoning... take it or leave it.

i left my apartment this morning and the weather was making it quite clear that summer ended yesterday. today has been gray. it's raining and just cold enough to make me realize i should have worn a jacket or a sweater or some sort of leg covering. the entire thing is odd to me b/c i think it was sunny yesterday. though, honestly, i can't remember.

i don't know what the world has against my hair. you see, for the last few years I can't get a normal haircut. i've tried all sorts of places with varying price points and skill levels and with and without referrals and i can't manage to find a person who can just cut my hair in any sort of normal fashion. the problem i always have is that they never seem to make the two sides of my head match. one side will be perfectly fine and the other side is just a totally different haircut.

this last lady gave me side swept bangs (like i wanted) on one side and bangs cut blunt at my eyebrow on the other side. she gave me long layers (like i wanted) on one side and then just kind of cut random chunks from where ever on the other side. so i have weird bangs with nice layers on the left and nice side swept bangs with weed whacker layers on the right. my solution has been to just wear my hair curly all the time and pretend like it didn't happen.

in all reality, i'm very aware that my hair troubles aren't nearly as bad as they could be as far as hair trouble or any other sort of trouble is concerned.

halloween. i'm really looking forward to it this year. because i love to dress up. i'm going to be a zombie again this year. but not just any zombie. and not a cowboy zombie... again (though i did enjoy wearing that moustache). i'm going to be marilyn monroe zombie. i'm really excited about the makeup. i love zombie makeup. and i love saying 'braaaAAAAAIIIiiinnns!'

hey, have i mentioned lately that i love trader joe's? b/c i do!

TWO WEEKS UNTIL THE FIRST CAPITALS PRESEASON GAME. so, ya know, no big deal or anything.

*note: i know there are a lot of random-y things that have been mentioned briefly. please just email me if you want further clarification on anything. you know how i do.*