snow day, baby

today is my first official snow day. church got canceled because of the snow. WOO! it's not that i'm excited that church is canceled but i'm excited to not have to do something because of the snow. that's never happened to me before. YAY snow day.

that said i will now commence my year in review

january
the new year's day fiasco with bill... mostly involved not being able to do anything we wanted all day long and then having to walk home from the movies. trip to virginia for home finding - had a sinus infection and almost died the night before the trip due to an allergic reaction to some medicine that i can never remember. i should probably write it down the next time i remember. trip to seattle with amber and cici to visit dad. disneyland for my 25th birthday.

february
civil war reenactment in ca for valentine's day. trip to hawaii. the neighbor setting their apartment on fire and the fire fighters chopping a "small" hole in our wall. trip to san francisco to visit little dan.

march
driving a 17' uhaul with my car towed behind it from arizona to virginia. i still can't believe i did that. i'm pretty hard core. as is gina. i would totally do it again... but only if gina was with me. highlights: getting the uhaul and company stuck in a parking lot in downtown atlanta, the coke factory, all the mcdonalds across the country, ALABAMA, snow in new mexico and cookies at the doubletree. started work at the new d&b... which involved me being told i needed woman classes. obviously they didn't know who they were dealing with. the first sunday at church here when i met phil and the teeth. ::hahaha:: meeting arianne and she turned out to not be hispanic like i had expected.

april
store opens. woo! emmy came to visit. i had a house warming party that i was hours late to. hmm. i think work was pretty much everything that was going on during april.

may
i got sylvie the hamster. duck beach. we stayed in this adorable beach house and i had top bunk. had fun bonding with stephanie and arianne... our lovely photo scavenger hunt. saw the wright brothers museum. the first of the hair fiascos... i tried to get my hair dyed red... and it turned out pink. it was all down hill from there.

june
i realized that it rains a ridiculous amount in virginia. never-ever trust a virginian when they tell you about the weather. they are all weather liars. you could be standing there getting rained on and they will deny the fact that it is raining until they die. i think virginians like to pretend they live somewhere cool like california and that it doesn't do things like rain or snow... but it's a LIE. it rains all the time here, don't be fooled. went to the world's boringest baseball game with jon. had a big month at work. lots of party planning in june. those were the days, yo.

july
4th of july!!! we organized a trip to dc to celebrate the freedom and birth of our great nation. best day ever. made some new friends and got to know people better. saw an amazing fireworks display. got accused of groping phil on the subway (which i did not do). went to waffle house where we witnessed people having a dtr next to the dumpster. some day that will be me, if only in my dreams. i think my favorite part of the trip was when we went for a walk, me, daniel, nate and tiffani and saw some more of the monuments and we had firecracker popsicles and just generally had a nice time being together. its moments like that that stay with me for some reason. nothing big or exciting happened but we were all together and i was, just, sincerely happy to be there.

august
trip to ca. it was so nice to go home and just get away for a bit. i don't remember too much else about august except this was when i got really, really depressed. the trip home helped me get out of that a bit. it was just such a terrible feeling. i would come home from work and just lay in bed crying. i hope i never feel that way again. i believe august is about that time i got that HORRIFIC hair cut. i'm still recovering. ughh.

september
lauren came to visit! it was so nice to have her out here. we did all sorts of touristy stuff while she was here. we even had TWO picnics. and it POURED rain on one of them. ha. i believe this was about the time i became friends with jessica 'queen fug'. we definitely went to the field day of the past during september. i learned what a tractor pull is. i couldn't explain it to you if i tried. all i know is that people wearing confederate flag shirts like to watch them.

october
this was the beginning of my 30 rock obsession. i hid away for a weekend and did nothing but watched 30 rock all weekend long. it was AMAZING. i love 30 rock b/c i relate to liz lemon so much. it cracks me up. i believe october is when we took the bus trip to nyc. for halloween i dressed up as a zombie cowboy. the next day i decided i would need to be zombie richard nixon for halloween 2010.

november
november involved several attempts at hair dying. most of which turned out to be an ultimate fail. i got a haircut that turned out pretty normal and now i'm still working on growing my hair out. had thanksgiving with diane, javi and quentin. it really was a nice thanksgiving, very relaxing.

december
i took a trip up to NYC all by myself. SOOO much fun. I did touristy stuff around the city and just generally enjoyed the city experience. i hung out at 30 rock and pretended to be liz lemon. my first snow day! and i get to go home for christmas! spent time with people i adore throughout the month. learned how to work the tv finally. kimy bought a house! ready to get my 2010 on.

woo! i'm sure i left lots of big stuff out. hey! add a message with any big things you remember that i left out!

anyway, overall i've had an amazing year with lots of growth and learning. i'm thankful for the amazing people that have come and gone throughout this year. i really am learning that things don't always turn out like you might expect but they always turn out.

gee wiz

this is me pretending to be happy about that fact that i'm being snowed on. the snow started up pretty quickly. i don't know if that's always what happens with snow since this really has never happened to me before. by the time i got home from work it was coming down pretty heavily.

the snow stresses me out and i got very little sleep last night. for whatever reason i would wake up in a panic every half hour or so and would bolt over to the window. i think part of me was afraid that the snow would have disappeared or that the whole world would have filled up with snow. i don't know which would have been more shocking to me. at any rate it made for a very stressful night.

this morning i decided i would try to take some pictures of the snow. so i put on jeans and a sweatshirt and opened the front door and realized there was no way i was going outside like that. i went and grabbed my snow coat, opened the door and got to the open air and went back inside for more gear. i grabbed a scarf and pulled up my hood and finally made my way to the parking lot. i took a few photos before i realized i really should have put on gloves and my fingers were killing me. i scurried back to the apartment as quickly as possible (which was actually very slowly b/c i was petrified of falling, breaking an arm and dying alone in my apartment).





















so the other night we decided to have some fun with diet coke and mentos (yes, i've been on a myth busters kick). fun with diet coke and mentos eventually leads to fun with other household items... like cornstarch. we learned a lot about what happens when you combine water and cornstarch (CREEPY) but more importantly i learned what happens when you combine fire and cornstarch... this:

i'm still trying to get my hands on the video to post here. it's a good time.

anyway, i've got a lot of stressful stuff going on right now. i've got some career decisions to make. ::joy:: and just generally waiting on some stuff to work or not work out. also, all the christmas parties for this weekend got cancelled due to the weather so that means more events moving to january. things definitely did not play out the way i had expected. but then again they rarely do. just ask my hair.

"it doesn't snow in virginia"

so that's my car. obviously i'm not going anywhere any time soon. snow is like being sick but without being sick. you have to stay in your house and watch a lot of tv.

it's the journey

so yesterday ann and i got lunch at mcdonald's. ann orders and then i go up and order and at the end of my transaction this happens:
mcdonald's worker man: you're very beautiful.
me: oh, uhmm thank you.
mcdonald's worker man: i just had to say it. i couldn't keep a straight face anymore.
me: (in my head) is that still a compliment? can i have my lunch now? where's the nearest exit?

which leads to... my favorite stories of times guys have randomly hit on me! woo!

so i'm in the parking lot at the ontario mills (i think it's important that i tell you ontario mills... if you've ever been there you'll understand). laurel and i are walking from the movie theater (where we have just purchased tickets for a movie that starts in an hour or so) and are making our way to the food court for dinner when a random guy runs up to me
random guy: hey, hey!
me: uhm, yeah?
random guy: what are you doing?
me: uhm, we're going to eat.
random guy: can i buy you a burger?
me: no i don't think so.

so i'm leaving denny's with little dan. we're getting into the car and next to my side is a truck of guys.
driver guy: hey, can you do the hula?
me: what?
driver guy: i said can you do the hula?
me: uhm, no.
driver guy: oh... uhm because you look like you're hawaiian.
me: dan unlock the car.
::i think the guy either forgot the punchline of the joke or chickened out but i'm sure it should have ended with something about getting lei'd::

and then there's always the assortment of random work incidents. oh the work incidents. like the captain who would come in and dance with my chair. or the kitchen worker who would sneak up and hold my hand. or the server who would tell me i looked like a school girl. or the guy at the coffee shop who wanted to name his daughter after me luckily his wife wouldn't let him (that mostly just qualifies as awkward). or this
him: i love you.
me: i know.
him: no, no you don't.
me: ::awkward::

oh when i was in new york katelyn got hit on by some weird guy. the best part: when he came over and went to start talking he totally drooled on the table. nice.

reminds of the time i was talking to some guy at a networking event. so we're outside chatting it up and suddenly a bug just flies up his nose. his eyes go wide, he looks at me and says 'i have to go' and walks away. i was just like uh yeah you do.

oh life! cracks me up!

that's not a bee! that's a bear in a bee costume!

sometimes in my mind i can't figure out the difference between bear and beer. weird.

last weekend i took a last minute trip to the big apple. friday i got to work and decided i needed a little get away. my first thought was to attempt a trip to orlando but after not finding any flights that fit the budget, i tried new york and found something that was perfect and allowed for maximum time in the city. anyway, i wound up having a lovely time the city. highlight was definitely the nbc studio tour at the 30 rock building.

this is my picture with alec baldwin. aka they put my face where tina fey's normal is. take that tina! i also got a 'that's a deal breaker, ladies' shirt. i love it and would wear it every day if that was ok with work.

other highlights: i was able to use public transportation to get from the airport to time square without getting lost. people on the street asked me for directions and i was able to tell them (luckily they were going to the same place as me). the rooftop restaurant where they give you a big cozy red robe to wear because it's cold. watching mythbusters in my swanky hotel room. having the freedom to do or not do whatever i want when ever i want (one of the perks of traveling alone... also there's no one to question your sense of direction or get angry at you when it turns out you've been walking the wrong direction for a while... however there is no one to help you when some random man on the street wants to give you his phone number. you win some, you lose some.).

i love love love mythbusters. mostly b/c i'm in love with grant. that guy is awesome. i love that mythbusters always seems to be on tv when i'm in a hotel. it's one of the reasons i love going on vacation.

yesterday i went up to dc with my favoritest boos. we went to the newseum. whenever i tell that to anyone they say 'oh, which museum?' and i have to say 'no the neeeewwwwwwseum.' it's a museum about the news. actually, it's more like THE museum about news. they had an amazing 9/11 exhibit. i don't know that amazing is the word... shocking, heart breaking, scary? they were showing footage from the attack that i'd either blocked from memory or had never seen before and the magnitude, the horrible loss, the tragedy... it all came back. it's odd to me b/c less than a week prior i had made the trip down to the site of the world trade center for the first time since the attack. with the image of the massive nothingness fresh in my mind, seeing the footage... it just was unreal... unreal to think of the horrible things that happened where i had been standing. horrific to think about how quickly we forget about what happened to us.

the museum also had a great exhibit about the berlin war. i don't know why i feel such a connection to the fall of the berlin wall. whenever it comes up it stops me. i suppose it scares me... the awful things we do to each other. it breaks my heart.

today, i read 'the hunger games.' nate had been telling me to read for a while so i picked it up yesterday while we were up in dc. i started it this morning and finished it this evening (with time to spare for church and baking cupcakes). it's one of those books that is engaging right away. definitely worth reading. i'm still upset about the ending... b/c it's not fair. also, in a way i relate to the main character and i hate it but need to know what happens at the same time. and i'm hooked.

as a side note, i finished 'the lost symbol' and it was a let down. don't bother with it. read 'the hunger games' instead.

now we can swim any day in november

i've been pretty depressed again lately. anyway, this has made me realize that i've always been very lucky in the people i have shared an office with... asia, rachele and, now, ann. these three women have been like angels in my life. wonderful, hard working, fabulous people who keep me sane (to the extent of sanity i'm capable of having). i realized this today after telling ann about why i'm actually depressed. i realized that the only people who have ever known what is going on in my life for the last 4 years have been the ones that have been locked in an office with me 8 hours a day. besides that i usually just deal with things myself and don't like to talk about whatever it is that is currently got me beat. but it's so wonderful to have those times when i can just unload all my crazy and not have them tell me i'm crazy.

i suppose my whole point in this is to say how thankful i am for these women and what they have done for me.

this past weekend i had a stay-cation at diane's house. i just adore diane's house. it's so cute! and i have my own bedroom there! with a ninja turtle blanket. saturday we went to ihop for breakfast. i can't even remember the last time i went to ihop. it was a fun breakfast. i had biscuits and gravy and felt like a real southern lady. ihope was PACKED. i've never seen so many people in one place and we all had to set really close together. it was insane. then we went to the mall and to costco where we had a sample adventure and also berry smoothies. saturday night we ordered pizza and watched the office. sunday we went to the smithsonian museum of natural history. i learned about the history of things that are natural. i like that museum because in the lobby they have a giant elephant. after that we went to the zoo. it was a very full day. they don't have any giraffes at the national zoo. when we got back to her house i took a nap and then drove home.

and now things are in full swing at work. so many parties, so little time. ::sigh:: i spend probably have the day resisting the urge to bang my head into the wall. the good news is that so far i've been successful. today ann told me i should punch the wall. i pretended to do it and it actually did make me feel better. ha. oh wall punching!

"i'm hiding under your porch because i love you" i heard that as i was walking through target today. it was little clip from up. i think i'm going to start saying it to people now. ha. maybe i will just randomly text it to everybody one day.

life or something like it

so this evening we discovered that sylvie died. i heard her running around this morning. and now she's dead. she used to climb to the top of the cage and drop. and once she bit me.

two nights ago i had a dream that i had a few hamsters and they started to reproduce and there were hundreds of them and i didn't know what to do. so i let them go at the mall. and i was walking through the mall and they were just sitting all over the place. just perched watching the people walk by. hundreds of hamsters. can you imagine?

i'm glad life isn't like tv. i'm glad things aren't so dramatic. we've been watching grey's anatomy. i'm glad life isn't like that. and i'm glad i'm not a doctor. i just couldn't take it. i mean, we realized the hamster was dead and i thought i was going to vomit. i'm just not cut out of dealing with drama. i need for things to not be complex. i don't know how some people do it. ::sigh::

as a side note, i will never understand the men folk. it's beyond my comprehension.

words meant just for you

so when i finally got into the office after my meeting this morning this is what greeted me and a nice 'i hope you're happier note' from adam. i thought that was very kind. i didn't eat it. how could you eat a cookie who is smiling at you like that? i'm not sure what i'm going to do with it. and if randy thinks my diet coke attracts bugs then this cookie with frosting smile and candy eyes will definitely draws crowds. none the less, it was a very nice gesture. it makes it really hard to get mad at these people when they do try to make me happy some times. ::hahaha:: if only my whole life was smiling oatmeal cookies.

the meeting this morning was pretty good. i didn't really get new information, i kind of just got some pumping up. and really, we all need that some times. i also realized i need a business mentor. now it's a matter of finding one. and an assistant. oh the never ending list of things to do in life.

the men at work have made me realize life is a lot easier when you're single. there's just too much yelling and fighting involved and i can't take it. work has been a war zone lately. i try to stay out of all of it as much as possible. you wouldn't know that if you've had to talk to me lately (sorry to anyone who has been subjected to one of my many 'this is why i hate that place today' stories... which usually involve saying 'effing' every other word). i just can't take it most days. i mean i'm all about open communication and addressing issues but the whole f-- you and slamming my office door thing isn't something i'm okie dokie with. though, in his defense, i was extremely sassy that day... and i had just been pretty nasty and condescending. i don't think i was f -- you sassy, but yeah. at any rate i just don't think i can deal with dudes and tempers and egos at this point in time. maybe if the work situation levels out i can start adding additional male ego into the mix. until then i'm stuck with the four crazies at work. ::sigh::

so target has a new line of jewelry that i LOVE. it's jewelry with little inspiration sayings on them. i'm not sure why i love that so much but i really, really do. i especially love the rings b/c they all have sayings on the outside and on the inside of the band. it's like a secret message that only i know about. i bought this ring yesterday... on the outside it says 'love the life you live' and on the inside of the band it says 'live the life you love.' i just think it's the most amazing thing ever. it was $20 which is cheaper than the other ring i wear every day that says 'it's not the the destination it's the journey' (mostly b/c i had to buy that ring twice... i lost the first one that i bought in the airport in seattle and i was so sad that i found it online and bought another one). i think those are both things i constantly need to remind myself. i love it. at any rate if you like that kind of stuff, go to target!

ok time for reading so i won't grow up to be a dummy!

remember me and you, i do

i had a real crap day today. i'm not totally sure why. i went to bed feeling ticked off and woke up in an even worse mood. all day long it took every thing to just not punch people. also i have been feeling home sick since yesterday afternoon so that just makes things worse.

funny story i remembered today while watching encino man... one time katie and i left our friend asleep on the couch with a pizza box on top of him and went and got slurpees and nerd ropes. the next morning he was just like why didn't you wake me up for slurpees?! awesome.

jessica's dog has this nervous twitch where he licks the air until his brain falls out. it really bothers me b/c i hate that sound. i'm sure everyone does. it's not as bad as the sound of sylvie running in her wheel. that's right, sylvie still lives at my house. ugggh. anyway jessica's dog likes to chase me in slow motion and act like it's going to lick me but it always stays just out of tongue's reach. jessica decided that he just likes to taste my aura. i think that's probably true. i told chubbs that we could be friend but he had to keep his tongue off me. that's generally the rules i set for all my friends. a person needs to have boundaries.

tonight i learned what a camel cricket is. if you've never seen one please look it up on google images. this is why places that get a lot of rain suck.

i've been thinking about getting a job in ca when my contract is up here. i've been thinking about it today. because i'm in a bad mood. but, still, i've been thinking about it. if i actually decide to move into the realm of job searching i'll let the world know. at this point i would love to move to san francisco. and i would love to get out of sales. ::sigh::

as a warning i hate my job every year from october - january. so yeah.

last night i did a search on google images for elaina davis and i got all the way to page 14 without ever seeing a picture of myself. but on page 4 was a picture of my sister. weird, huh?

i have an early morning meeting tomorrow and i'm dreading it. ::sigh:: i'm dreading it b/c it's in the morning and b/c i will have to be nice to people before 11 AM and b/c i have to see that man who never stops talking. there are so many reasons to not want to go to this meeting. ::sigh:: there had better be some danishes.

new hair

this is a picture of my new hair. so everyone out there will still recognize me as me. it's been a bit of an adjustment but i like it. i think it looks a little different in real life but eh what can you do?

here's a story about something that happened at work the other day. so ann and i were standing near the bar and a server girl came up and asked us if we had any ibuprofen and we told her no and i suggested that she check out the pain aid in the first aid kit. she said she didn't want to b/c it was generic and she hates generic medicine and walks away. then i told ann that the server girl was crazy b/c it's the same stuff even if it's generic and i use it all the time and it's great. we finish what we were doing at the bar (which was definitely not drinking alcohol... even though that would make work so much more awesome) and we walk through the kitchen and the girl is standing there with some little packets of medicine and telling the other server girls about how the medicine probably sucks at which point ann shouts 'no it doesn't elaina takes it ALL THE TIME!' as this is going on i notice what she is actually holding... the generic version of midol and i yell 'NO I DON'T!' and everybody just looked at me like i was crazy. it was awesome.

later i told the story to randy and he didn't think it was funny at all... he just said 'well they probably just figured that explained why you're happy all the time.' i'm still not sure if that was meant as an insult.

that reminds me... the other day a lady who was planning a party told me i was "so nice." i said thank you and in my head i was like yeah that's what they pay me to do. i think those thoughts alone make me not nice. side note: if you didn't know... i'm generally not very nice. i'm absurdly sarcastic and i like to make fun of people (even when they're not around). i'm trying to quit.

so yesterday was halloween and i decided to be a zombie cowboy. how did that happen you might be asking yourself. i'll tell you. thursday i was at work and towards the end of the day i was feeling a little puke-y and i was very pale. anyway i turn to ann and she says 'wow you don't look good... you look like a zombie!' at which point i yelled 'BRAINS.' ann got a kick of that and i decided being a zombie was something that was fun and i wanted to pursue it further mainly on halloween but sadly i had already purchased all the stuff i would need to be a cowboy, including a mustache (b/c all good cowboys have mustaches... it's the only time you can trust a man with facial hair). so i said to myself, 'self you would like the fun of being a zombie but you have already purchased the cowboy goods... what will you do?' and that's when lightening struck and i said ZOMBIE COWBOY. i asked everyone i ran into what was better cowboy or zombie cowboy and every male agreed the zombie cowboys were way more awesome (the females gave a mixed review... but what do girls know anyway?). and so that's what i did. i was surprised at how scary the makeup turned out. you can see a picture below.

in other news, on friday night i saw the michael jackson movie. that would have been an awesome concert if michael jackson hadn't died and i would have paid up to $75 to see it. i'm sure the tickets would have been way more than that though so it's a good thing they made a movie. it made me realize that my favorite michael jackson song is the way you make me feel. i enjoy it greatly. it makes me want to wear red shoes. i don't really know why.

i the opposite of want to go to work tomorrow.

braaaaaains

this is my zombie cowboy from last night. i didn't realize i was so scary until i saw pictures this morning.

that's all.

ugghh

i shouldn't have eaten so much cheese and fudge for dinner.

play it again pamie

my fictional hero is liz lemon. my non fiction hero is pamela ribon. pamela ribon is probably as close to a real life lemon as you're going to get... as far as i can tell. pamela wrote 'why girls are weird' and keeps a blog at pamie.com. she is also a derby girl. if you know me at all or have spent much time with me you probably have heard me talk about my secret desire to join the derby. i don't know that it will ever actually happen but i would love if it did. ::sigh:: anyway pam hasn't been keep up on the blog and it makes me cry. what can you do? as a side note, pam was my hero first... for like the last 5 years. i haven't decided yet if i love lemon b/c she reminds of pam or if i just happen to want to be like both of them independent from each other.

in other news, it's almost the weekend. i honestly don't know where the time goes these days. two days ago was our 6 month anniversary... 6 months since the store opened. how is it possible that much time has passed?! at the beginning of this month i had my 4 year anniversary with dave & buster's (ps i know it's depressing that my anniversaries are with work... what can you do?). in the grand scheme of the world 4 years isn't a long time. however, in the life of a 25 year old who has only been working since she was 18, it's a very long time.

today ann & i were talking about when my contract would be up for this location. it's up in early march, i believe. though i don't have any plans for leaving virginia any time soon. i like it here. still. ha. surprising, i know. maybe i'm getting old or something.

the other night we watched 'it.' still not as scary as everybody thinks it is. i didn't even have any nightmares. shoot, even 'bones' gives me nightmares! however, i didn't remember how ridiculously long that movie is! it's 187 minutes, which is over three hours and not 2 hours and 20 minutes (people aren't good at math at midnight, i guess).

sylvie goes to a new home on monday. PLEASE, PLEASE if you love me or animals at all, please, do not allow me to ever get another pet besides a gold fish. if i ever ask you 'should i purchase a ::insert animal type here:: ?' say to me 'good gracious elaina get a grip on reality and drop the animal for the love of all that is good in the world!' it may also be appropriate to slap me at that point depending on how determined i look. please.

i want to go to ca this weekend but that's not going to happen. i don't think i will be in ca until january. my plan is to be there after baby boy stone is born. for the holidays i will probably sit on my couch drinking eggnog and eating pizza. or maybe i'll go to florida. it's hard to say at this point.

one last note: guys are confusing. hmmm.

get your h1n1 on

so i decided i was feeling less chipper than usual on friday and so it would probably be a good idea to hole up in the apartment all weekend. BEST DECISION EVER. i watched the complete first season of 30 rock and about half of the second season. that's a good 14 hours of 30 rock from friday night to saturday night. i love 30 rock. i feel a weird association to lemon. and usually after watching 30 rock i start to do weird things. i think the show messes with my mind. for starters, last night (for the second time in the last few months) i attempted to dye my hair to match the color of lemon's. once again it was a fail but not as tragically as last time. last time we had pink, this time it's a nondescript brown color that you would assume just naturally grows out of my head. joseph said i shouldn't dye it darker and i believed him but then brianna said why does it matter what joseph says and now i'm all confused. i'm going to take a few days and then figure out what i'm going to do.

so saturday afternoon i decided i needed some pizza for my 30 rock marathon. so i log on to papajohns b/c they let you order online without speaking to a person. but i forgot that the last time i ordered online i was at work. anyway about 30 minutes pass and i get a phone call from work saying hey people just tried to deliver pizza here but we sent it back. long story short the pizza man yelled at me and said he was canceling my order and i said ok and figured out something else for food. what a weekend!

we went to new york a couple weeks back. we took a bus in the middle of the night. the bus dropped us off in chinatown a 6 AM. chinatown at 6 AM after spending all night on the back of a bus is not some where you want to be. needless to say, i threw up 3 times within the first few blocks of being there. other highlights:
being lost on the subway for hours
-jim falling asleep on a bench in central park like a hobo
-seeing kaley which includes the coining of 'shark rape' and having the world's most delicious cupcakes
-fao schwartz has a build your muppet program
-having a sniper riffle full of fun

i could really go for one of those cupcakes right now.

i miss jack in the box. i'm watching the news right now b/c i'm pretending i'm hanging out with nate (hanging out with nate like this is reallllly boring... all he does he talk about the news) anyway there was just a commercial for some other fast food burger place and it made remember the cheesey meaty boys. they were the boy band that pitched the ultimate cheeseburger. cheese meat cheese cheese meat and that's it, baby you know it's hot and juicy! i loved that burger b/c there aren't any vegetables on it. screw vegetables!

so yesterday i bought this chocolate with bacon in it. not delicious. it was like the world's crappiest bacon. if they had used normal bacon it would have been great but instead it was terrible and made my head hurt.

"coach says we're a second half team" is that a compliment? i'm not totally sure it is. i just heard that on the news. hmm.

happy thoughts

cheerwine! yum! like dr pepper but from north carolina.
dc!
mater!
mack
in the woods with arianne
croquet, anyone?
so much sugar!
staying out of the rain... kind of.
not staying out of the rain.

gray day

feeling justified in anger is a bad spot to be. for me as soon as i feel that i am justified in being angry or in not liking someone i no longer have the desire to keep it in check. for example we have this server at work... she just... grates on my nerves. whenever she opens her mouth (which is all the time) i have the overwhelming urge to rip my head off just to make the sound stop entering my brain. at any rate for the first 4 months or so i would just smile and nod whenever she cornered me and the nails on chalkboard noises came out (aka speaking to me). but over the last couple months people will randomly come up to me and be like wow so and so is really annoying (that's what they say if they're being really nice and they're a mild person) and so now i'm like well no one else likes her so i don't have to try to be nice anymore either. and that's not good. i should try to be nice to people. instead we have conversations like this:

her: some lady called this morning, did she leave you a message?
me: i don't know.
her: well she wants to have a party. did she leave a message?
me: probably. ::i walk away as she is still talking::

what is so annoying about that conversation is some ladies call me all day long to plan parties. 'some lady' means nothing to me. i don't know what she thinks i do but when i walked into work that day i had 22 voicemails waiting. of which about 19 were some lady. all of whom were looking to have a party. that's why they call me. all of them. but that's besides the point. i should've have stood there and listened to her drone on about this woman who wants to plan a party and then been like 'ok well i'd better get to that message... i wouldn't want to keep some lady waiting.'

anyway my original point is that it's not ok to feel justified in anger. so i read the 5 dysfunctions of a team. my boss had asked me to read it, so i did. i think he asked me to read it so that i would be angry all the time. this book has cause me to feel justified in my anger towards our corporate office... because this book said to me "dear elaina you work for people who wouldn't know team work if it ran up and slapped them in the face. they are clown shoes." like i need to add justification to that fire. thanks a lot book. i think for christmas i will send copies of that book to the people at whq. ha.

i also think my boss was intentionally trying to get me to fly off the handle today. which is interesting seeing as how he's on vacation. he's not even in the state and he's trying to see if he can get me to yell at people. so anyway my whq boss sent out this thing with awards for people who made budget last month and we weren't on it, which i totally expected b/c no one cares what i do in sales since we're a new store, but i get this email from my boss saying why aren't you ever on his list, you always make budget. to which i responded with something along the lines of probably b/c we're new or maybe b/c that guys hates me. so my boss decides to email the whq boss and find out why. and i'm like dude i don't wan to be involved don't talk to me about those people you know how they make me angry. so my boss and my whq boss exchange a few emails the last of which my boss fwds to me with a "see below" and it's basically a one liner from the whq boss saying we don't really care what you guys do "ha ha". to which i responded ':) "no comment"' and my boss was like that was a nice comment. at which point i sent some sort of email to tune of tell him he's a wienie and that he can "haha that, sucka." that was actually the last line of the email 'haha that sucka.' my boss never responded. i think he was like 'finally the response i was looking for' and stopped checking his work email.

note to future elaina- when you read this blog entry some day this will crack you up: always remember that story today about grandmas telling people to dry off before getting out of the shower so that the ceiling doesn't collapse.

i was SOOOO close to buying a cap gun today at the store. i even text messaged dan to have him talk me out of it but he was just like no, do it. instead i bought alphabet magnets b/c i felt that i could justify them as edutainment. cap guns are just fun and not edutainment... though i could use it if i decide to be a cowboy in a stunt show some time. you never know.

warning to everyone who could possibly come within arm's distance of me soon: i've had the desire to hit people a lot lately. not hard or anything but my natural reaction instead of using words has been to just hit people. weird.

this just in: "should've" isn't a real world but "edutainment" is.

also, bears wake up during hibernation to go to the bathroom. so much for sleeping all winter.

and here i go just makin' the same mistakes

so vacation was AWESOME. it was really hot in ca but i survived. the highlights:

- going to the pier with felicity. she insisted on walking and would not get in the stroller for a very long time. we were walking along the bike path at the beach (at this point she'd probably walked about a mile... that's a lot for a two year old) and she would stop and look at me and say 'mimi, sit down' and she'd sit on the curb and recover for a while and then she'd get up and start walking again. it just cracked me up that she would rather stop and sit on the curb then get in the stroller! i was like dude if you want to walk you can push me!

- disneyland! it was so awesome to see everybody and to get to go there with all the babies. ultimate moment: amber and i were at the tiki room getting some pineapple goodness. we went in the waiting area, order from in there and watched the movies about hawaii. anyway we're on our way out and i see this guy flipping out. he's yelling at some poor old guy saying 'that's the tiki room not the dole pineapple express lane!' to which the man was responding with 'i would suggest you file a complaint with city hall.' we're walking away and i'm telling amber about what i just heard and who should should come up behind us? the crazy man still yelling to the woman he is with about the injustice that is 'the dole pineapple express lane.' at which point i made a zigzag so i would get the chance to check this guy out. anyway we wound up walking behind him the entire way to... CITY HALL. where he got in the world's longest line to complain about the fact that he just had to wait in a long line. oh the beauty of it! two things. 1. i would never complain about anything while at disneyland b/c as soon as someone suggested i should take my complaint to "city hall" i would probably fall over laughing and forget about it. the idea of being an upset citizen of disneyland and taking my problems to city hall is just too funny. 2. if i was the woman with this guy i would have been like dude you're on your own, i'll see you at the car. i had to stop myself from telling her 'seriously? you can do better.'

- jack in the box! they now have a touch screen ordering system, which means... I DON'T HAVE TO SPEAK TO A HUMAN. that is my favorite thing in the entire world. thank you jack in the box for being awesome.

- my new nickname. felicity has decided my name is now 'mimi.' why? no one knows. but i LOVE it.

- dave & buster's. we went to the store in santa anita. it was amber, felicity, adam, britt, james, my dad and me. we had lunch and then spend some time in the arcade. after about 30 minutes in the arcade we left. as we got out to the mall my dad shouts 'thank goodness we are out of that god forsaken hell hole!' and i say 'you mean DAVE AND BUSTER'S?!?' at which point my dad tried to explain that he doesn't actually hate my employer it's just loud and not his scene. it was hilarious mostly b/c that it was what i think when i walk out every day! ::hahaha:: oh that place.

- natural history museum. so this museum has like the world's largest bird display. miles and miles of bird information. they didn't actually make any claims about having the world's largest bird display, so don't try to fight me about it. i'm just saying that so you know it was really freakin' big. anyway they had this part where you walked through the jungle and saw the jungle birds. and what do jungle birds do for fun? EAT MONKEYS. there was a bird with a MONKEY IN IT'S MOUTH. i freaked out and was like since when do birds eat monkeys?!? it's just not ok. i can't decide if it was some joke the museum was playing on the good people of la or if there are really birds who eat monkeys.

so i just googled 'monkey eating bird' and got this: The monkey-eating eagle is the national bird of the Philippines. It lives in the rainforest and builds its nest in the highest canopy it can find. In the early 1970s the population was only 36-50 individuals.The monkey-eating eagle was discovered in 1896 by John Whitehead, an English naturalist, who said that their primary prey was monkeys. In the 1970's scientists found that they eat mostly flying lemurs. They were renamed the Philippine eagle.

so i guess they are real and the people in the philippines are a-ok with this.

- dallas detour. so monday i'm flying out of burbank but a bird hit my plane and i wound up having to spend the night in dallas. less than awesome. 'less than jake? i don't get it.' besides being stuck in the ONE STATE IN THE UNION THAT I DESPISE it was kind of cool. the airline put me up in a nice hotel and i got to eat pizza and watch cable! what's not to love? it was nice to have a quiet night alone before returning. it was kind of like a vacation buffer. plus it got me out of the majority of the work day on tuesday. gotta love that. way to sacrifice your life so i don't have to work a full day little bird. that's taking one for the team little buddy.

so now i'm back. the boys decorated my desk with balloons and a 'welcome back we missed you' sign. it was very sweet. except the balloons were all deflated when i got there and i was like uhmm did you guys just tie sad balloons to my desk or what? but no, they started as happy floating in the air balloons, so that was nice and not so much like oh hey thanks for tying crap all over my desk. last night jon and i watched the yankees / o's game at bww. i love baseball. yankees won, or course. because the o's SUCK. and on that note - the end.

grocery store antics

so this evening i was in the grocery store and the produce storm started... you know when it rains on the vegetables and there are thunder sounds? so yeah that started to happen and this couple start freaking out. i don't know how they'd never seen that happen before but they start freaking out and turn to me and say WHAT IS GOING ON?!? and i said 'oh it's so the vegetables feel at home... they're used to being outside.' i thought the woman was going to hug me the two of them were laughing so hard.

i really hate thunderstorms. they seem to come out of nowhere and are scary. i got caught in a downpour today. it reminded me of the tram ride at universal studios... you know the part where they turn on the rain and then the mexican village floods? it's JUST like that here.

only a few more days until CA. EEEEEK. i'm so excited to get some wienershnitzel. i want some chili cheese everything. yummmm.

so today i was at this uhh festival thing at the university. we had a booth to hand out coupons and whatever. mostly whatever. anyway, this guy stops so i figure he wants to talk about why i'm there. i say 'have you been to dave & buster's?' and he starts rambling about how he doesn't do chain restaurants and it was very awkward. at any rate i realized today that people in college are SOOOO weird. it made me thankful to be a worker!

remember when i used to think there was sea salt in my scalp? those were the days.

shew fly don't bother me

so there was just a ridiculously loud fly in my apartment. like at first i thought maybe a helicopter had flown inside by mistake. but it turns out no it was just the world's noisiest fly. i'm not totally sure whether it was louder than the average fly or if i just don't hang out with flies that often. anyway, at first i tried to hit him with a roll of paper towels, which seemed to make it drunk. which was fine, until he spilled his tiny fly martini on the carpet and started saying things he's going to regret in the morning. he eventually flew over to the door and sat on it. so i opened the door and he flew out. it was very odd. i never expected him to just fly out the door. flies! they're just full of surprises.

less than a week until i go to ca... or was it the swiss alps? i can't remember anymore. at any rate, i'll be getting on an airplane and leaving richmond. and going to one republic or another.

today i went to barnes and noble and bought too many books. i also bought hans christian andersen the movie. i love that movie. it reminds me of the first time i came to richmond, when i was sicky and had to stay in the hotel when i should've been looking for apartments. it makes me want a sundae. at any rate, i love when he makes all the ballet slippers. and when he sings i'm hans christian andersen! i just love it.

be excellent to each other

so i'm starting worry about my absorption in work. i spent the evening laughing about something that you should've been personally a little heart breaking and yet crying about work. the realization of this only made me cry more... why should i not care about boy drama any more?!? suddenly the thing that is truly heart breaking is the arcade?! who am i? and when do i get my life back?

i feel as though my life is a romantic comedy beach read book... you know the one with the brightly colored cover... there's a cartoon woman looking frazzled and yet some how together... the woman who though she seems to have it all together... the job, the friends, the quirky view on life... is still hopelessly unlucky in love. note to the universe: that's supposed to be a book. NOT MY LIFE. and yet there's the the usual characters: the guy best friend who's there through thick and thin, the ex who is obviously no good and yet is always popping up, the string of unfortunate dating mistakes and good ol' me, just rollin' with the punches. doing the joke arms (if i've never shown you the joke arms i'm more than willing to demonstrate at parties) and waiting for the day it all makes sense. my own personal aha moment. the kind where i say, that's what that was all about.

tonight it was the kind of situtation that should be funny a few months or a year down the road but for whatever reason in the moment it just made me laugh. i suppose the laugh was less 'this is hilarious' and more 'i could not have dreamed a better plot twist.' it's not that what happened was funny just the way it all played out. have no fear friends, when i do write the book i will change your names, paint you in a favorable light, and send you a check for your share of the story.

i need this trip to ca... probably more than anyone really knows. here's to hoping i come back.

california knows how to party

Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!'.
-- Stephen Wright

8 more days until california.

things i love about california: a list

seeing the california niece and nephew
pinkberry
seeing the fam and friends
disneyland
traffic
feeling nostalgic
the getty
mexican food (any chance i'll be able to get california burrito from san diego?!)
la
palm trees
knowing the stations on the radio
the california missions
acting like a tourist in a place i lived for over 23 years
being allowed to say things like "the 57" and "parking structure"
farmers markets
the village
24 hour donut stores (especially freshhh donuts and manna donuts)
jack in the box
red tide
feeling like i'm home <3

i'm already sad about coming home and i haven't even left yet!

that's b-awesome

ok so i took this fabulous picture today while waiting at a red light. the yellow car is sitting in oncoming traffic... pretending that it is the correct place for waiting at a red light. you will notice the black car on the right hand side that his driven past... very slowly. no one wanted to drive past the yellow car. i think everyone was just too stunned. i was not too stunned to pull out my camera and snap this photo. i mean i can totally understand how it can happen... it's not like the directions of traffic are separated by an island with trees and plants... oh wait, it is. well the lady was old so i'm sure that's what her excuse was. 'what?!? i'm old!' after i took the picture i looked over at the car next to me where they were pointing in the 'do you see what's going on' fashion and i was like 'i know, i took a picture ::shrug::' and then the old lady's light turned green and she turned left just like you would if you were in the correct lane. it was awesome.

speaking of old people, one time laurel & i went to see a taping of 'freddie.' the episode was about freddie's grandma dating and i turned to laurel and said something along the lines of 'ewww no one wants to watch old people date.' at which point the woman in front of us turns around a yells at laurel 'YOU'LL BE OLD ONE DAY TOO!!!' laurel was just like 'i didn't even say it!' old people always want me to get stuff off the top shelf at the grocery store for them. i'm ok with that.

people are always saying that the grocery store is a good place to pick up on people. one time this happened to me. or at least someone tried to make it happen. i was picking out some yogurt and a man comes up behind me and says something along the lines about how much he loves yogurt and that i should stock up b/c it was on sale blah blah blah. and i was like ok thanks good bye. anyway he finds me again later in the grocery store and says 'whats your favorite flavor of yogurt?' and i said 'uhhmm strawberry.' and he said 'wow! look! i got STRAWBERRY BANANA!' i was like gee that's awesome, i've gotta go creepy. you probably had to be there to understand why that was so creepy.

ok so one more story of something awesome that has happened in the past:
so, this one time in high school i was at disneyland. we were riding on the jungle cruise and these asian people were sitting next to me and across from me. they were all in a big tour group together. anyway, i'm sitting there minding my own business checking out the backside of water when the woman across from me holds out her camera and says 'picture?' thinking she wants me to take her picture, i gladly agree, at which point she snaps a photo of me and the man sitting next to me. the man sitting next to me then switches with the man next to him and we have another photo op. THEN (no it doesn't end there) the woman pulls out her video camera and they start taking live footage of the men pointing out the animals to me... elephants, zebras, hippos... only the finest in jungle cruise action. finally the ride is over and we're getting off the boat and my friends are giving me the WHAT IS GOING ON look and the asians ask us to all gather round for a group photo and then they hand out lapel pins and keychains as a thank you. i imagine that in some wall in some office in some asian country some man proudly displays the photos of the time he pointed out a fake elephant to some american girl. what more could he possibly want?! i am excited to go to disneyland in a couple weeks for obvious reasons.

almost the weekend!

i live in the world's stinkiest apartment complex. i went to get the mail tonight and twice i almost puked. i'm very proud of myself though b/c i didn't.

i'm going to california in less than 2 weeks. i can't wait. i need this vacation like... well i can't think of a good finish to that... but i really need to get out of virginia for a bit. it will be good to see the family and friends and to go to disneyland. YAY. asia told me today that going to disneyland with me is on her bucket list. isn't that sweet?

my gm cracks me up today he randomly sent me an email that said:
the phone, the phone is ringing
i didn't know there were hillbillies in arizona

he enables goofy in the workplace. i think we work very well together. he has managed to get that the phone is ringing song stuck in my head every day for the last week. driving me nuts.

happy calzone day!

today was calzone day at work. which is funny b/c we ate calzones for dinner last night too. and actually we ate strombolli today and we just called it calzone day. at any rate calzone day is a very special day.

so this morning i walk into my office and my boss is sitting there and he says 'so do you want the good news or the bad news first?' at which point i sit down, put my head in my hands and tell him i'll go with the bad. he waits a long time thinking and he turns and says 'uhhh, i can't think of any!' at which point i'm crackin' up mostly from the relief. and i say 'ok great, what's the good news?!' and he hands me a paper and says 'YOU'RE NUMBER ONE!' ok so i realize at this point that no one will know what i'm talking about but i am number in the company in guest pulse results for the quarter!!! i nearly started to cry.

the guest pulse is a phone survey that event hosts take rating the event process from beginning to end. and the results of this are really important to the people at whq. and i am NUMBER ONE... for the QUARTER... for the ENTIRE COMPANY. i've never been number one before. it couldn't have been better timing either b/c i had been feeling really down on myself b/c there is tons of work still to be done and i'm constantly drowning in work and i can't ever get everything done that i need to get done but i'm trying... i'm really trying. at any rate it was just incredible to see us ranked number one. whenever i think about it i feel like i'm going to start crying. what a girl!

so i start working on some stuff and for some reason i turn to james and asked him how much vacation time i have left and he said he didn't really know and i told him i thought it was around 8 days and he said 'well, i need to talk to you about that... we were talking about it this morning and i'm requiring you to take a week off before october b/c you work too much.' i don't know why i feel so validated when people tell me i work too much. ::hahaha:: i think it might be a sickness. definitely a sickness. but now i'm all day dreamy about the week off that i get. i've been imagining all the wonderful things a person could do if they had an entire week off! it just seems to wonderful to be true!

this is what has been going on in my head all day: 'oh, a-week-vacation! you want to take me to the ball?! why whatever will i wear?!' at which point a-week-vacation and i dance around and fall madly in love and live happily ever after in elaina-has-lost-her-mind-land. the worst part about this daydreaming is i'm not able to stop myself from acting out my daydreams... so my coworkers see me sitting at my desk making moony faces and acting like a disney princess. luckily they are already totally aware that i'm insane... they totally expect at this point that i will spend the entire day talking to myself, singing and doing motivational chants. i often have to remind them that they have to worry if i start using different voices when i talk to myself.

sweet home... virginia?!?

today i became a little worried that maybe i love richmond a little too much. i had a meeting in downtown and as i walked through the streets on my way i just was struck by the fact that i really love this place. i love the way the air feels. i love the buildings and the people. it's very different from ca here. people can say things you can't say in ca. even within the business community. actually especially within the business community. over the weekend a friend asked me what my favorite thing about richmond was and my answer is the business community. it's small, it's home town-y, once you meet a few people you're pretty connected. it's supportive and the people want one another to do well, to succeed, to become better for the sake of the community. by no means am i saying the city doesn't have it's issues but it's driven by a group who desires to make things better for everyone.


so what worries me? i want to stay here. that's never happened before.

these are the days when you wish your bed was already made

this is a story about why living in the south is awesome. saturday i went to a french restaurant called can can in carytown. i had a ham and cheese sandwich. with an egg on top. COVERED IN GRAVY. it was FABULOUS.


after we ate lunch we went to a shop called i love chocolate... because... well, i DO love chocolate! i mostly just walked around smelling things. and then i bought a present to send to little dan. he will love it. i almost died laughing when i saw it. it's perfect for little dan. next we went to the byrd for the screenings of the films from the 48 hour film project. that was pretty interesting. we saw 20 minutes films that were made completely within 48 hours right here in richmond.


this city is amazing.


i was thinking about how everybody always says sense of humor is like the most important thing. so anyway a few weeks back i was in the car with someone and it was probably the most excruciating car ride of my entire life b/c they just seemed so serious and not to be having any fun at all even though i was trying really hard to have fun (and fun normally comes so easy for me... i mean i AM the ambassador to fun after all). anyway, this person starts talking about dating and says that the most important thing to them was sense of humor and that they couldn't imagine a life without laughter. at which point i had to do everything i possibly could to keep from laughing. i just thought it was hilarious that i had spent the last half hour wanting to poke my eyes b/c this person had no sense of humor and here they are saying that sense of humor is the most important thing. i suppose really you should be looking for compatible sense of humors.


speaking of being the ambassador to fun... UGH. so at work i sign my emails "your ambassador to fun, elaina" and i get comments all the time from, mostly, dudes about it. one time i had some guy ask how much it would cost for me to be his personal ambassador to fun (it came out way worse than he expected, i'm sure, b/c he was really embarrassed after he said it). at any rate last week i was at a networking meeting and they decided to have everyone stand up and introduce themselves and i got really distracted and flustered and words just started coming out of my mouth and i ended by yelling "I'M YOUR PERSONAL AMBASSADOR TO FUN" simply b/c my brain knows that is the worst thing i could've yelled. at which point everyone busts up laughing and i sit down and thinking good gracious woman what is wrong with you?!?


man i thought james was going to have a meltdown today. so 30 minutes before a party is supposed to start i walk by the room and notice that it is set up totally wrong. and so i grab the servers and start rearranging and taking care of business. i was sweating and running all over the place. i'm really glad we're not allowed to wear high heels anymore. at any rate about half way through james walks by and is like what are you doing? i think he thought i just randomly decided to go in and mess up the room. and i was like hey this room is set up wrong and i'm taking care of business b/c that's what i do yo (i'm not totally sure but i feel that is possibly an exact quote of myself). at any rate he got very upset that it wasn't done right but i was thinking 1. you should be happy it was me that discovered it and not the party host 30 minutes from now and 2. be glad i'm not some neurotic party planner who yells at people (neurotic? yes. yeller? no). so you know, count your blessings bud!


this is what winnie the pooh says: you can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. you have go to them sometimes.


thanks winnie the pooh. that is valuable information for life.


and one last reason why virginia is great:

so i've been talking about this for ages now. here are some pictures from the dance last night. i didn't take my camera with me so that's all i have for now. and here is a picture of me on a segway in case you were wondering what that was like.