some times you find yourself on the edge of maybe somethings.
that's where i am these days. for a couple months i've been casually seeing a fellow. casual, casual. and now i'm at the point where it could be something or it could be nothing. i know i don't want nothing. but what i want, what i need and what will happen are usually three different things.
i'm not sure what's going to happen. i'm just along for the ride at this point.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
i want to wash my hands, my face and hair with snow
actually, i think the whole washing yourself in snow thing is a really bad idea. anywho, we got a bit of snow this week. i know, i know... more lies, it doesn't snow here. it doesn't snow here, except when it does. and when it does the state shuts down. it's like snow sucks every virginian's will to live. i don't mind though b/c they set me up with a hotel two nights this week so that i could still get to work. yeah you do hotel party. the hotel party mostly involved me either laying in bed not being able to sleep or being asleep during the middle of the day. and we painted our toe nails. so that's a win.
this morning i was thinking about my niece. once upon a time when she was two i took her with me to have lunch with me and one of my friends. i think she sensed that the situation was kind of awkward and instead of crying or something she pretended to be asleep. we sat down for lunch and she just sat there, board stiff with her eyes closed. one time when he got up to refill his drink she half opened her eyes to look at me and then when she spotted him she closed them again. it was the funniest thing in the entire world to me. that at such a young age she was able to recognize awkwardness and decided the best option was just to bow out.
i wish sometimes that i could just do what she did. ha. awkward situation? oh wait i'm asleep, i'll wake up when you decide to go away. i feel like that would make life a little easier. my problem is that my brain typically shuts down when i'm in an uncomfortable situation. i'm unable to process any new information, unable to use words, unable to function. it's really just terrible. it would probably be more understandable for the other person if i did just pretend to me asleep. at least then the other person would be like oh she is asleep instead being like oh what happened to elaina's brain?
this is part of the reason i hate when people ask me what i'm thinking. you ask me what i'm thinking and instantly i have no words.
thems the breaks i guess. i'm hoping to have a go at the second half of a conversation that happened earlier this week that i mostly just watched in an out-of-body-esque experience. oh life!
this morning i was thinking about my niece. once upon a time when she was two i took her with me to have lunch with me and one of my friends. i think she sensed that the situation was kind of awkward and instead of crying or something she pretended to be asleep. we sat down for lunch and she just sat there, board stiff with her eyes closed. one time when he got up to refill his drink she half opened her eyes to look at me and then when she spotted him she closed them again. it was the funniest thing in the entire world to me. that at such a young age she was able to recognize awkwardness and decided the best option was just to bow out.
i wish sometimes that i could just do what she did. ha. awkward situation? oh wait i'm asleep, i'll wake up when you decide to go away. i feel like that would make life a little easier. my problem is that my brain typically shuts down when i'm in an uncomfortable situation. i'm unable to process any new information, unable to use words, unable to function. it's really just terrible. it would probably be more understandable for the other person if i did just pretend to me asleep. at least then the other person would be like oh she is asleep instead being like oh what happened to elaina's brain?
this is part of the reason i hate when people ask me what i'm thinking. you ask me what i'm thinking and instantly i have no words.
thems the breaks i guess. i'm hoping to have a go at the second half of a conversation that happened earlier this week that i mostly just watched in an out-of-body-esque experience. oh life!
Monday, December 13, 2010
the perfect man
today at work my buddy was making fun of me and he said 'you love manly men. all you want in a man is for him to be wearing a flannel shirt and to have a beard!' and then there was a pause while his wheels were spinning...
and then he shouted 'i know who your perfect man is!'
'al borland!'
i will not deny that i love a good manly man.
anywho, i'm not totally sure how i'm still awake. anne's flight yesterday was canceled b/c she was supposed to fly through chicago but she got on a flight for this morning and to get to the airport on time i woke up a little after 4:30. when i opened the door of the house i said aw man is it raining and anne let me know that it definitely was not raining. oh no, my friends, it was snowing. so anyway, after an extra stressful drive to the airport i went to the gym to work out for a bit but really to use the shower.
the shower experience was a bit of a let down b/c the water was luke warm. not the greatest feeling on a snowy monday morning. anyway, after that i head back to my house to finish getting ready for work. i flat ironed my hair for about an hour. i think it took an abnormal amount of time b/c i was half asleep. eventually i pulled it together in time to sit on the freeway, attempting to battle the other drivers and the snow. the 15 minute drive took about 45 but it wasn't all that bad. it seemed to go back pretty quickly. i think i spent a lot of time talking to myself.
work was busy but i survived. we got free breakfast. that's always a win. i mostly just spent the day at my computer busily banging away at contracts and emails and mounds and mounds of paperwork. exciting stuff.
after work i got in a really nasty mood. partially b/c of my tiredness and partially b/c of my current inner conflict regarding the thing with the stuff and the pants. i decided the thing most likely to prevent me from spending the evening weeping was another trip to the gym. so i went there for an hour or so this evening.
then i began the journey out to kimy's. the refuge for those who seek clean dishes, laundry and not showering in gyms. on the way i stopped at target b/c i thought of the perfect gift for jon. unfortunately they didn't have any of the pieces that i needed for the gift. another unfortunate thing was i was so tired i has lost any capacity for rational thought. i spent an hour or so aimlessly wandering the store before picking up some laundry detergent and cheddar cheese and deciding it was probably best to leave.
i got to the house and realized it was after ten and i hadn't eaten dinner and was ready for a melt down. i tried eating left over mac and cheese but it tasted like death. then i decided to have nutella on bread. but when i went to get the nutella out of the jar it was solid b/c it had been in my car in the snow all day. i decided to put the jar in the microwave.
dumb.
it's in there for about two second and BAM flashes of light and my brain goes 'LIGHTNING!' luckily my hands work without my brain and i popped the microwave open before i started a fire. some times i'm surprised by my brains automatic reactions to things.
for example, one time i was driving from california to arizona and in the road there was a chunk of blown out tire but my brain goes 'ALIGATOR' and i swerved. for whatever reason my brain decided that the thing most likely to be in the road in the desert in arizona was an aligator. right.
or in my apartment complex in san diego there were a lot of stray cats. one night i was taking at the trash and as i tossed the bag in the dumpster, a cat came flying out. i throw my arms in the air and instead of yelling on expletive, i shouted 'CATS!' i was glad that no one was there to witness that.
ok definitely time for some sleep. here's to hoping for no more snow!
and then he shouted 'i know who your perfect man is!'
'al borland!'
i will not deny that i love a good manly man.
anywho, i'm not totally sure how i'm still awake. anne's flight yesterday was canceled b/c she was supposed to fly through chicago but she got on a flight for this morning and to get to the airport on time i woke up a little after 4:30. when i opened the door of the house i said aw man is it raining and anne let me know that it definitely was not raining. oh no, my friends, it was snowing. so anyway, after an extra stressful drive to the airport i went to the gym to work out for a bit but really to use the shower.
the shower experience was a bit of a let down b/c the water was luke warm. not the greatest feeling on a snowy monday morning. anyway, after that i head back to my house to finish getting ready for work. i flat ironed my hair for about an hour. i think it took an abnormal amount of time b/c i was half asleep. eventually i pulled it together in time to sit on the freeway, attempting to battle the other drivers and the snow. the 15 minute drive took about 45 but it wasn't all that bad. it seemed to go back pretty quickly. i think i spent a lot of time talking to myself.
work was busy but i survived. we got free breakfast. that's always a win. i mostly just spent the day at my computer busily banging away at contracts and emails and mounds and mounds of paperwork. exciting stuff.
after work i got in a really nasty mood. partially b/c of my tiredness and partially b/c of my current inner conflict regarding the thing with the stuff and the pants. i decided the thing most likely to prevent me from spending the evening weeping was another trip to the gym. so i went there for an hour or so this evening.
then i began the journey out to kimy's. the refuge for those who seek clean dishes, laundry and not showering in gyms. on the way i stopped at target b/c i thought of the perfect gift for jon. unfortunately they didn't have any of the pieces that i needed for the gift. another unfortunate thing was i was so tired i has lost any capacity for rational thought. i spent an hour or so aimlessly wandering the store before picking up some laundry detergent and cheddar cheese and deciding it was probably best to leave.
i got to the house and realized it was after ten and i hadn't eaten dinner and was ready for a melt down. i tried eating left over mac and cheese but it tasted like death. then i decided to have nutella on bread. but when i went to get the nutella out of the jar it was solid b/c it had been in my car in the snow all day. i decided to put the jar in the microwave.
dumb.
it's in there for about two second and BAM flashes of light and my brain goes 'LIGHTNING!' luckily my hands work without my brain and i popped the microwave open before i started a fire. some times i'm surprised by my brains automatic reactions to things.
for example, one time i was driving from california to arizona and in the road there was a chunk of blown out tire but my brain goes 'ALIGATOR' and i swerved. for whatever reason my brain decided that the thing most likely to be in the road in the desert in arizona was an aligator. right.
or in my apartment complex in san diego there were a lot of stray cats. one night i was taking at the trash and as i tossed the bag in the dumpster, a cat came flying out. i throw my arms in the air and instead of yelling on expletive, i shouted 'CATS!' i was glad that no one was there to witness that.
ok definitely time for some sleep. here's to hoping for no more snow!
Sunday, December 12, 2010
all in a day
dear life,
i never know what to expect from you. thanks for being awesome.
elaina
here is an account of my saturday.
i wake up ridiculously early (aka 7 AM), get dressed and head to the gym. i work on my fitness b/c that's what brings me happiness. i just love going to the gym. the workout just brings a certain amount of clarity to my brain. helps me recenter and make sure my head is facing the correct direction.
after the gym, i went home to take a shower and that was a no-go b/c the water in the house is now coming out gray and i'm not too keen on showering in dirt. so i text messaged my buddy that i was meeting for breakfast and asked if he would be ashamed to eat breakfast with an unshowered person. luckily he said it was fine and i headed over to dots. dots is a cute little local diner that was once featured on the show diners, drive-ins and dives on the food network. i had french toast that was delicious. better than the french toast was being able to talk to jim about life. he's a great friend and i appreciate being able to talk to someone and not feel like they're being judgemental about the things i'm saying. also i know he will call me out if i'm being a nutter and start saying things like 'love beard.'
after breakfast i went back to the gym to shower. the shower at the gym is a magical place. there is an endless supply of clean, hot water. additionally, you can pick up tips for the best things to do while visiting st kitts island.
from what i hear on the streets, or actually the shower, it's a beautiful island where the people are extremely trusting of tourists, don't steal your change from your hotel and don't beg like they do in jamaica. also, if you go to the interior of the island there is a mountain you can stand on and get an amazing view of the island and the ocean. also, there is a marriott there that is brand new, all inclusive and fabulous.
i want to go to there.
a couple hours later, anne and i started our journey to the nation's capital. i love the dc. with all my heart. we started the journey with our usual good times in the car. i have the most fun with anne, always. we get to the furthest south metro station where we met up with my hockey ticket supplier, kevin. we get into kevin's car, do the exchange and he kindly offered to drive us into the city. after a bit of driving around the city lost, we found the museum we were looking for... the national building museum.
we get inside and there was some sort of winter wonderland going on. we were a little confused by the number of christmas trees and lights and people but we continued our journey to the exhibit anne wanted to see. so we're walking through the second level and we pass a table with a stack of donuts, which, obviously i was surprised to see. i mean, who just puts out a plate of donuts in a museum. at this point i decide it would be a good idea to point this out and loudly i say 'look, there are donuts!' at which point anne sees this:
yes, ladies and gentlemen, will schuester of glee fame. smirking and then shrugging at my donut comment and then quickly walking away as if to say 'hey what a dork! she's all excited about donuts and a famous person is standing right here. loser.' at this point anne turns to me and is like 'that was mr schu!' and i'm just like, what? i was looking at donuts i missed it! here's mr schu 2 feet from me and i'm too busy checking out his donuts to notice. we continue on to the exhibit which was really cool and then we hear it. mr schu singing us christmas songs. he was there to film some christmas special for tnt. so i got to see him after all. i got to see him and hear him singing 'come all ye faithful' my favorite christmas song. shortly after that we were not too nicely tossed from the museum. thems the breaks.
after the museum we started a quest to find some indian food and on the way we stumbled upon a street market. i bought a delicious cookie. two pieces of short bread with jelly filling and powdered sugar. the top piece of short bread had a bell cut in it for the jelly to poke through and some how the powdered sugar didn't get on the jelly bell. so good.
the market basically ended at the front door of the indian restaurant. so good. the food was fabulous. they have the best lamb and oooh rice pudding. it was a delicious meal. man, i love indian food.
next stop was the caps game. ok first, i'm just going to let you know the caps lost. we were robbed but whatever, it happens. the game was an absolute blast. we were playing colorado. we recently traded one of our players for one of theirs. it was an extremely tense game that involved lots of fighting and yelling and everything that is good about hockey. they have this new thing where they drop shirts from the ceiling on little parachutes. it was amazing. just like the hunger games. we even got to see knuble score his 250th career goal. knuuuuuuble.
overall it was a magical day. it's not every day you get mocked by a celebrity.
i never know what to expect from you. thanks for being awesome.
elaina
here is an account of my saturday.
i wake up ridiculously early (aka 7 AM), get dressed and head to the gym. i work on my fitness b/c that's what brings me happiness. i just love going to the gym. the workout just brings a certain amount of clarity to my brain. helps me recenter and make sure my head is facing the correct direction.
after the gym, i went home to take a shower and that was a no-go b/c the water in the house is now coming out gray and i'm not too keen on showering in dirt. so i text messaged my buddy that i was meeting for breakfast and asked if he would be ashamed to eat breakfast with an unshowered person. luckily he said it was fine and i headed over to dots. dots is a cute little local diner that was once featured on the show diners, drive-ins and dives on the food network. i had french toast that was delicious. better than the french toast was being able to talk to jim about life. he's a great friend and i appreciate being able to talk to someone and not feel like they're being judgemental about the things i'm saying. also i know he will call me out if i'm being a nutter and start saying things like 'love beard.'
after breakfast i went back to the gym to shower. the shower at the gym is a magical place. there is an endless supply of clean, hot water. additionally, you can pick up tips for the best things to do while visiting st kitts island.
from what i hear on the streets, or actually the shower, it's a beautiful island where the people are extremely trusting of tourists, don't steal your change from your hotel and don't beg like they do in jamaica. also, if you go to the interior of the island there is a mountain you can stand on and get an amazing view of the island and the ocean. also, there is a marriott there that is brand new, all inclusive and fabulous.
i want to go to there.
a couple hours later, anne and i started our journey to the nation's capital. i love the dc. with all my heart. we started the journey with our usual good times in the car. i have the most fun with anne, always. we get to the furthest south metro station where we met up with my hockey ticket supplier, kevin. we get into kevin's car, do the exchange and he kindly offered to drive us into the city. after a bit of driving around the city lost, we found the museum we were looking for... the national building museum.
we get inside and there was some sort of winter wonderland going on. we were a little confused by the number of christmas trees and lights and people but we continued our journey to the exhibit anne wanted to see. so we're walking through the second level and we pass a table with a stack of donuts, which, obviously i was surprised to see. i mean, who just puts out a plate of donuts in a museum. at this point i decide it would be a good idea to point this out and loudly i say 'look, there are donuts!' at which point anne sees this:
yes, ladies and gentlemen, will schuester of glee fame. smirking and then shrugging at my donut comment and then quickly walking away as if to say 'hey what a dork! she's all excited about donuts and a famous person is standing right here. loser.' at this point anne turns to me and is like 'that was mr schu!' and i'm just like, what? i was looking at donuts i missed it! here's mr schu 2 feet from me and i'm too busy checking out his donuts to notice. we continue on to the exhibit which was really cool and then we hear it. mr schu singing us christmas songs. he was there to film some christmas special for tnt. so i got to see him after all. i got to see him and hear him singing 'come all ye faithful' my favorite christmas song. shortly after that we were not too nicely tossed from the museum. thems the breaks.after the museum we started a quest to find some indian food and on the way we stumbled upon a street market. i bought a delicious cookie. two pieces of short bread with jelly filling and powdered sugar. the top piece of short bread had a bell cut in it for the jelly to poke through and some how the powdered sugar didn't get on the jelly bell. so good.
the market basically ended at the front door of the indian restaurant. so good. the food was fabulous. they have the best lamb and oooh rice pudding. it was a delicious meal. man, i love indian food.
next stop was the caps game. ok first, i'm just going to let you know the caps lost. we were robbed but whatever, it happens. the game was an absolute blast. we were playing colorado. we recently traded one of our players for one of theirs. it was an extremely tense game that involved lots of fighting and yelling and everything that is good about hockey. they have this new thing where they drop shirts from the ceiling on little parachutes. it was amazing. just like the hunger games. we even got to see knuble score his 250th career goal. knuuuuuuble.
overall it was a magical day. it's not every day you get mocked by a celebrity.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
i'm sorry dave. i'm afraid i can't do that.
so i've unplugged from the network. facebook that is. i've kept the account b/c of the ridiculous amounts of photos i have stored there. once i can manage to back those all up some where else, i'm sure i will pull the plug for good. i just got tired of checking it and wasting time, blah blah blah. so like everything i do, it's all or nothing and i've decided on nothing.
free at last.
caps beat the blues tonight. 4-1. i was listening to the game on nhl radio. i had muted the sound while i was talking to my sister on the phone and when i turned it back on it was just the sound of people skating and taking shots. it's like one of those recordings of the ocean that people listen to for help falling asleep. except instead of the ocean it's hockey. that brings me joy.
so the other day i was talking to some friends about celebrity crushes. when i was a wee one i was in looooove with
alan thicke. which is odd b/c i don't much care for canadians. but i guess when you're 4 you don't know a lot about america's hat and you're willing to settle.
as i got a little older, 5, i moved on to bigger, better, bearded dudes.
that's right. commander will riker, ladies and gentlemen. i was so sad when riker married troy. totally not fair. if i had been, uhhmm 30 years older and on the starship enterprise, this man would totally have been my husband. riker and me... we're just two ships in the night i guess. to this day i'm still enamored with any man who can grow a beard like my riker. i think it's a sign of manliness... and galactic domination.
over the last year or so i developed a great love for the one and only
alec baldwin. i must say, alec has really come into his own over the last few years. and there's just something about his tv power that i love. also, you have to admit, the man has amazing hair. amazing.
as of late my love has gone in a full canadian circle.
mike knuble of the washington capitals. according to wikipedia he is a canadian american so i'm pretty sure that means he just wants to be american. sure, he's no ovi or semin but has a finesse that you just can't deny. and to be perfectly frank, ovi scares me a bit.
bro is pretty much a beast who eats hockey players for dinner. i'll wear the shirt with his name on it but i hope i don't ever actually meet him.
in other news i had a fabulous thanksgiving. spent the holiday weekend in north carolina with one of my bestest friends of all time. we had a lovely turkey dinner and did some black friday shopping and spent a copious amount of time watching movies. it really was a fabulous holiday and i feel lucky that i got to spend it with such an awesome friend.
she introduced me to the show 'extras.' i totally love it. ricky gervais is a genius. i don't know how a person gets to be that funny. favorite line of all time "bye, nerd." i could spend another weekend just watching that show.
did yoga tonight. i didn't like it as much as the yoga / tai chi / pilates class i took. that felt like a real workout. yoga is kind of weird and i constantly feel like my boobs are going to suffocate me. at any rate i will probably go again if the dude makes me b/c that's the kind of girl i am. personally, i'd much rather try out a spin class.
free at last.
caps beat the blues tonight. 4-1. i was listening to the game on nhl radio. i had muted the sound while i was talking to my sister on the phone and when i turned it back on it was just the sound of people skating and taking shots. it's like one of those recordings of the ocean that people listen to for help falling asleep. except instead of the ocean it's hockey. that brings me joy.
so the other day i was talking to some friends about celebrity crushes. when i was a wee one i was in looooove with
alan thicke. which is odd b/c i don't much care for canadians. but i guess when you're 4 you don't know a lot about america's hat and you're willing to settle.
as i got a little older, 5, i moved on to bigger, better, bearded dudes.
that's right. commander will riker, ladies and gentlemen. i was so sad when riker married troy. totally not fair. if i had been, uhhmm 30 years older and on the starship enterprise, this man would totally have been my husband. riker and me... we're just two ships in the night i guess. to this day i'm still enamored with any man who can grow a beard like my riker. i think it's a sign of manliness... and galactic domination.
over the last year or so i developed a great love for the one and only
alec baldwin. i must say, alec has really come into his own over the last few years. and there's just something about his tv power that i love. also, you have to admit, the man has amazing hair. amazing.
as of late my love has gone in a full canadian circle.
mike knuble of the washington capitals. according to wikipedia he is a canadian american so i'm pretty sure that means he just wants to be american. sure, he's no ovi or semin but has a finesse that you just can't deny. and to be perfectly frank, ovi scares me a bit.
bro is pretty much a beast who eats hockey players for dinner. i'll wear the shirt with his name on it but i hope i don't ever actually meet him.
in other news i had a fabulous thanksgiving. spent the holiday weekend in north carolina with one of my bestest friends of all time. we had a lovely turkey dinner and did some black friday shopping and spent a copious amount of time watching movies. it really was a fabulous holiday and i feel lucky that i got to spend it with such an awesome friend.
she introduced me to the show 'extras.' i totally love it. ricky gervais is a genius. i don't know how a person gets to be that funny. favorite line of all time "bye, nerd." i could spend another weekend just watching that show.
did yoga tonight. i didn't like it as much as the yoga / tai chi / pilates class i took. that felt like a real workout. yoga is kind of weird and i constantly feel like my boobs are going to suffocate me. at any rate i will probably go again if the dude makes me b/c that's the kind of girl i am. personally, i'd much rather try out a spin class.
Monday, November 15, 2010
i like your beard
so, turns out i'm like the world's most awesome cook and i don't know why i haven't been cooking all this time. tonight for dinner i had a stir fry. it was delicious. a little delicious? no. way. it was like cooking fairies delivered a lovely dish from dinner heaven... which is, obviously, run by fairies. tonight's dinner was stir fry. lots of delicious vegetables, chicken and rice. for dessert i had some pumpkin ice cream that i purchased this evening from my friend, trader joe.
trader joe is my new best friend. i like to go to his store... trader joe's.
anyway, i was driving home from work today and i was thinking about how it is important to have people in your life who encourage you to do good things. i have this friend at work who convinced me to join the gym and also convinced me to start cooking. i know it's only been a week, but this has already been such a positive change in my life. it just makes me happy to be gyming and cooking and just taking care of myself.
diane is currently in the process of having her baby. i'm excited to meet the new baby.
also, i'm almost done with book 6 of harry potter. and this wednesday i will be at a cap's game. yessssss. i love me some hockey. hopefully i will get to see my husband, mike knuble. yeah ya do knuble.
trader joe is my new best friend. i like to go to his store... trader joe's.
anyway, i was driving home from work today and i was thinking about how it is important to have people in your life who encourage you to do good things. i have this friend at work who convinced me to join the gym and also convinced me to start cooking. i know it's only been a week, but this has already been such a positive change in my life. it just makes me happy to be gyming and cooking and just taking care of myself.
diane is currently in the process of having her baby. i'm excited to meet the new baby.
also, i'm almost done with book 6 of harry potter. and this wednesday i will be at a cap's game. yessssss. i love me some hockey. hopefully i will get to see my husband, mike knuble. yeah ya do knuble.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
puppy dog eyes
in case you were wondering, i had a blast in boston. i love weekend trips. so much fun. i got this new hat while i was there. it's a puppy. the end.
i start battin' my eye
so i joined a gym about a week ago. by nature i am an all in kind of person. i'm either totally doing something or i'm not doing it at all. so obviously i am now an obsessive gym goer. this first week has been good. i went friday evening. was in boston saturday and sunday. went monday, tuesday and wednesday. thursday i got to the gym, got half way through changing and then realized i didn't have any tennis shoes. this morning i went again. i can already feel it in my bones... the ache to be at the gym. i've suddenly stopped caring about anything except hanging out at the gym. at any rate, if you don't hear from me much or if i seem to be more flakey than usual, it's probably b/c i'm either (a) at the gym or (b) thinking about the gym.
after the gym this morning, i got my eyebrows waxed. this, above all things i have to do as a woman, is my least favorite thing. they put hot wax on my face and then rip it off in hopes of pulling my hair out. it makes me want to die. and what's worse is that for hours, many hours, the skin around my eyebrows is bright red and hurt-y. honestly, i don't know why i even do it. well, yes, i do. i like to look nice for the boys. i'm just thankful that my eyebrows are extremely slow at growing back in and i can usually go months between eyebrow waxings. oi.
after the waxing, i went to trader joes to do some grocery shopping. ::love:: i decided this morning that i would take my gym-ing one step further and i'm going to make the goal to not eat out as much. so i bought some stuff so that i can cook at home. the first meal went well. i cooked a chicken breast and some rice in this fabulous marinade that i got at trader joes. it waa called island soyaki or something like that. seriously i could have just drank the sauce from the bottle. screw chicken. the sauce made me decide that i need to go buy some snow peas and brocolli b/c i could eat that for every meal. including breakfast.
the bacon selections at trader joes was very confusing. the cured / uncured thing. i've never noticed that before. i'm guessing i usually eat cured bacon so i decided to go with that. i also got some tofu b/c i love tofu. a lot. i like traders joes b/c it's small and i'm not tempted to buy candy or icecream when i'm there. ha.
after the gym this morning, i got my eyebrows waxed. this, above all things i have to do as a woman, is my least favorite thing. they put hot wax on my face and then rip it off in hopes of pulling my hair out. it makes me want to die. and what's worse is that for hours, many hours, the skin around my eyebrows is bright red and hurt-y. honestly, i don't know why i even do it. well, yes, i do. i like to look nice for the boys. i'm just thankful that my eyebrows are extremely slow at growing back in and i can usually go months between eyebrow waxings. oi.
after the waxing, i went to trader joes to do some grocery shopping. ::love:: i decided this morning that i would take my gym-ing one step further and i'm going to make the goal to not eat out as much. so i bought some stuff so that i can cook at home. the first meal went well. i cooked a chicken breast and some rice in this fabulous marinade that i got at trader joes. it waa called island soyaki or something like that. seriously i could have just drank the sauce from the bottle. screw chicken. the sauce made me decide that i need to go buy some snow peas and brocolli b/c i could eat that for every meal. including breakfast.
the bacon selections at trader joes was very confusing. the cured / uncured thing. i've never noticed that before. i'm guessing i usually eat cured bacon so i decided to go with that. i also got some tofu b/c i love tofu. a lot. i like traders joes b/c it's small and i'm not tempted to buy candy or icecream when i'm there. ha.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Baby Monkey
This is my new favorite thing. I can't stop watching it! Going backwards on a pig, baby monkey! Baby monkey!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
a little night music
this is me at work today. when i am particularly stressed out this is how i stare at my computer. i find that fake smiling at my computer generally tricks my body into thinking maybe things are ok. it's like the rest of my body is like 'well, if her face is doing that we might as well get on board too.' so, i spent the majority of my day looking like that.
my buddy text messaged me today and asked how my day was going. i told him my day was standard, which we both decided was acceptable for a day to be. i feel like the day balanced out with good and bad. instead of just the entire day being neutral, i had a lot of good stuff happen and a lot of bad stuff happen. if for every good thing i had put a bean in a jar and for every bad thing i took a bean out, my jar would be empty right now. i'm glad i don't actually do that b/c i think that would be pretty depressing at the end of the day.
in other news, we started up the thankful board at work. every year during the month of november i write down one thing i'm thankful for every day. here in richmond we put it up on the white board and random people will add to it in addition to me. and it winds up being a neat collection of the many people, places and things people are thankful for. it's always a really cool project and neat to look at when the end of the month comes around.
today when i was driving home i realized that all i care about is listening to jazz, reading and watching hockey. and then i wondered 'when did i become this person?' i just don't know how, when or why it happened.
and now, a picture of me as gertie from halloween!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
baby look at you now
a friend just posted this quote on facebook:
I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.
it reminded me of a conversation i had recently in the car with a friend. i seem to do all my best thinking in the car. so lately i've been really struck by the realization that generally people don't set high enough goals. people are so paralyzed at the idea of not achieving a goal, of falling short, of failing that they set only small, easily achievable goals. and really, how is that helping?
as far as goals, are you better off if you make a goal to lose 5 pounds (when you need to lose 50) and you lose 5 or if you set the goal to lose 50 and you only lose 10? in the first scenario you've met your goal but only lost 5 pounds. in the second, you have failed by a large amount but lost twice as must weight.
i think we are too attached to the idea of failure. we act as though failing is the worst thing that could happen to a person. like it's some great evil that we need to run from and be ashamed of. there's no shame in failing because it means you're trying something.
so back to the car, during the course of our conversation i thought of a great way to illustrate my point to my friend. humor me and play a long.
i asked her this:
10 years ago what were your goals? what did you think your life would be like now?
she responded i thought i'd be married, with kids.
have you achieved either of those things?
no.
5 years ago what were your goals? what did you think your life would be like now?
i'd thought i'd be married and graduated from college.
have you achieved either of those goals?
i've graduated from college.
1 year ago what were your goals? where did you think you would be?
i thought i would be teaching.
but you aren't. do you think that makes you a failure or do you think you are where you are supposed to be right now in your life?
she said that she definitely felt like she was doing what she was supposed to be doing with her life right now.
exactly. think of all the goals you've made over your life and never achieved but you have been led to other, greater experiences. so really shouldn't we all be setting our aim as high as possible and trying with all we have to get to the highest point and let the rest work itself out? because really when it comes down to it you're probably going to get redirected from your plans anyway so you might as well shoot for the top.
i believe in setting big goals. set big goals and figure out smaller steps to achieve them. set goals that are bigger than you. set goals that stretch and seem impossible... and then set stepping stones in front of you to get you there.
and get out there and fail big! fail. get rejected. say something stupid and mean it. fall down and get banged up. hit dead ends, make wrong turns, fight for something, for someone, for some where. don't apologize for not living up to someone's expectations, not even your own. just go and do what you can, while you can and be stronger than you ever thought you could be.
anyway, that's my rant for today. i can proudly say that today i have had at least one miserable failure. onward and upward.
I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.
it reminded me of a conversation i had recently in the car with a friend. i seem to do all my best thinking in the car. so lately i've been really struck by the realization that generally people don't set high enough goals. people are so paralyzed at the idea of not achieving a goal, of falling short, of failing that they set only small, easily achievable goals. and really, how is that helping?
as far as goals, are you better off if you make a goal to lose 5 pounds (when you need to lose 50) and you lose 5 or if you set the goal to lose 50 and you only lose 10? in the first scenario you've met your goal but only lost 5 pounds. in the second, you have failed by a large amount but lost twice as must weight.
i think we are too attached to the idea of failure. we act as though failing is the worst thing that could happen to a person. like it's some great evil that we need to run from and be ashamed of. there's no shame in failing because it means you're trying something.
so back to the car, during the course of our conversation i thought of a great way to illustrate my point to my friend. humor me and play a long.
i asked her this:
10 years ago what were your goals? what did you think your life would be like now?
she responded i thought i'd be married, with kids.
have you achieved either of those things?
no.
5 years ago what were your goals? what did you think your life would be like now?
i'd thought i'd be married and graduated from college.
have you achieved either of those goals?
i've graduated from college.
1 year ago what were your goals? where did you think you would be?
i thought i would be teaching.
but you aren't. do you think that makes you a failure or do you think you are where you are supposed to be right now in your life?
she said that she definitely felt like she was doing what she was supposed to be doing with her life right now.
exactly. think of all the goals you've made over your life and never achieved but you have been led to other, greater experiences. so really shouldn't we all be setting our aim as high as possible and trying with all we have to get to the highest point and let the rest work itself out? because really when it comes down to it you're probably going to get redirected from your plans anyway so you might as well shoot for the top.
i believe in setting big goals. set big goals and figure out smaller steps to achieve them. set goals that are bigger than you. set goals that stretch and seem impossible... and then set stepping stones in front of you to get you there.
and get out there and fail big! fail. get rejected. say something stupid and mean it. fall down and get banged up. hit dead ends, make wrong turns, fight for something, for someone, for some where. don't apologize for not living up to someone's expectations, not even your own. just go and do what you can, while you can and be stronger than you ever thought you could be.
anyway, that's my rant for today. i can proudly say that today i have had at least one miserable failure. onward and upward.
Friday, October 15, 2010
nom nom nom
it's been a busy few weeks, to say the least.
i went to ca for a week. it was a last minute trip and it was fabulous. this last week i had two old roommates from az come into town. we spent the week being tourists in the va area.
i really haven't got much to report. i've been reading a lot. and working (when i'm not on vacation). i'm in an incredibly good mood these days.
i guess i just love fall in virginia.
oh! we went to a hockey game this last week. i love hockey so much. and i loooove the caps. it was just about the best game ever. hockey has probably passed baseball in my book. within the first few minutes of the game two of the players had taken off their gloves and were circling each other. there was so much tension as we waited to see if someone was actually going to swing or if the refs were going to step in. after what seemed like years of waiting they went at it and even knocked each other's helmets off! i just love hockey so much.
i went to ca for a week. it was a last minute trip and it was fabulous. this last week i had two old roommates from az come into town. we spent the week being tourists in the va area.
i really haven't got much to report. i've been reading a lot. and working (when i'm not on vacation). i'm in an incredibly good mood these days.
i guess i just love fall in virginia.
oh! we went to a hockey game this last week. i love hockey so much. and i loooove the caps. it was just about the best game ever. hockey has probably passed baseball in my book. within the first few minutes of the game two of the players had taken off their gloves and were circling each other. there was so much tension as we waited to see if someone was actually going to swing or if the refs were going to step in. after what seemed like years of waiting they went at it and even knocked each other's helmets off! i just love hockey so much.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
guess what i did today
i uploaded some pictures! they are: (1)when i thought i was dying on the hay ride (2) tom's in new york (3) the holiday preview at work (4) when the thought of dying at the apple farm hadn't occurred to me yet (5) right after i got out of the pace car today *i'm surprised i wasn't puking at that point* (6) hanging out with charlie brown.
Monday, September 20, 2010
i was born in a goldmine, you were born by the sea
at the request of a dear friend, i recently attempted to read twilight. after getting 300 pages in, i gave up. i suppose i'm not much for romance-y books. i'm more into crime, mystery and children fighting each other to the death. i'm currently working on reading 'the age of wonder.' it's extremely intriguing so far. it's one of those books that i wish i could small wonder. (small wonder: (v) to flip a book in front of your eyes and read the entire thing).
friday night orin and i had a nerd evening. i appreciate people who are willing to go along with my nerdventures. we were on our way to the science center to learn about the night sky and i was telling him that the only thing that i love as much as outer space is dinosaurs. anyway, we get to the museum and it turns out that it is... i kid you not... DINOSAUR NIGHT. the presentation was half about outer space and the other half about dinosaurs. it was a dream come true. after the presentation was over we met with the astronomical society.
those people were characters, to say the least.
there was a man who looked like doc brown and was showing me star charts from the 70s. and the indian man who smelled like expensive cologne. and the young guy who sounded like he was from west virginia and was very excited to be there. all interesting people. seeing them was almost as awesome as getting to use the telescopes. we were lucky enough to see venus, jupiter with her moons, a couple stars and a nice close up of the moon.
saturday i went to c-ville with some of the ladies and we picked apples. i must tell you that apple picking is far more enjoyable than strawberry picking. apple picking involves less physical labor, hunting and sweat. also, the apple place sells things like apple cider donuts, apple salsa and offers hay rides. it was a lovely day and i would go apple picking again. i probably won't ever pick strawberries again. unless they are free after i pick them.
so i was getting a facial today and i was telling the esthetician that i'm having issues with jawline acne right now and she responds, 'are you stressed?' i laughed.
i think if you had ten people and you asked them if they were stressed 8 of them would say yes. 1 would just start crying. and the last would be so far gone that she wouldn't even realize where she is. basically, what i'm saying is 'of course i'm stressed! everyone is!'
it also reminded me of an episode of 30 rock when liz's coworkers had done something especially ridiculous and she yells 'you're the reason for my jawline acne!' don't think that yelling that hasn't crossed my mind on several occasions. actually, in all reality my coworkers are pretty amazing. and they only drive me crazy a relatively small portion of my life compared to either (a) corporate or (b) party hosts.
speaking of coworkers, one of mine is growing a beard for me. last week i was telling him that i love when it's playoffs b/c he grows a beard and he looks really good in a beard. so today he walks in with what looks like 3 or 4 days of growth and says 'i'm growing this for you.' i cause hair to grow on men's faces. or at least a man's face. but hey, it's a start.
friday night orin and i had a nerd evening. i appreciate people who are willing to go along with my nerdventures. we were on our way to the science center to learn about the night sky and i was telling him that the only thing that i love as much as outer space is dinosaurs. anyway, we get to the museum and it turns out that it is... i kid you not... DINOSAUR NIGHT. the presentation was half about outer space and the other half about dinosaurs. it was a dream come true. after the presentation was over we met with the astronomical society.
those people were characters, to say the least.
there was a man who looked like doc brown and was showing me star charts from the 70s. and the indian man who smelled like expensive cologne. and the young guy who sounded like he was from west virginia and was very excited to be there. all interesting people. seeing them was almost as awesome as getting to use the telescopes. we were lucky enough to see venus, jupiter with her moons, a couple stars and a nice close up of the moon.
saturday i went to c-ville with some of the ladies and we picked apples. i must tell you that apple picking is far more enjoyable than strawberry picking. apple picking involves less physical labor, hunting and sweat. also, the apple place sells things like apple cider donuts, apple salsa and offers hay rides. it was a lovely day and i would go apple picking again. i probably won't ever pick strawberries again. unless they are free after i pick them.
so i was getting a facial today and i was telling the esthetician that i'm having issues with jawline acne right now and she responds, 'are you stressed?' i laughed.
i think if you had ten people and you asked them if they were stressed 8 of them would say yes. 1 would just start crying. and the last would be so far gone that she wouldn't even realize where she is. basically, what i'm saying is 'of course i'm stressed! everyone is!'
it also reminded me of an episode of 30 rock when liz's coworkers had done something especially ridiculous and she yells 'you're the reason for my jawline acne!' don't think that yelling that hasn't crossed my mind on several occasions. actually, in all reality my coworkers are pretty amazing. and they only drive me crazy a relatively small portion of my life compared to either (a) corporate or (b) party hosts.
speaking of coworkers, one of mine is growing a beard for me. last week i was telling him that i love when it's playoffs b/c he grows a beard and he looks really good in a beard. so today he walks in with what looks like 3 or 4 days of growth and says 'i'm growing this for you.' i cause hair to grow on men's faces. or at least a man's face. but hey, it's a start.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
a real class act
caitlin and i had a fun outing this evening. i saw online that the virginia museum of fine art was open today until 9 pm and had a jazz band and since it was all free i decided i was going to go. and caitlin was more than happy to come with me.
i must tell you, there's nothing like knowing the name of painting or recognizing a painter by style to make me feel like a genius. being in art museums generally make me feel like i'm the smartest person alive by 1. being there and 2. having some knowledge of art works.
after we had toured the museum a bit we made our way to the cafe. we sat on the outside patio and i enjoyed a dinner of cheese and fruit while listening to the jazz band play. the weather was perfect and it was a wonderful, rich moment... being there.
i wish there were more evenings like that.
next friday the richmond astronomical society has their sky watch at the science center. they set up their telescopes for the public to use for free. i'm. totally. there.
i must tell you, there's nothing like knowing the name of painting or recognizing a painter by style to make me feel like a genius. being in art museums generally make me feel like i'm the smartest person alive by 1. being there and 2. having some knowledge of art works.
after we had toured the museum a bit we made our way to the cafe. we sat on the outside patio and i enjoyed a dinner of cheese and fruit while listening to the jazz band play. the weather was perfect and it was a wonderful, rich moment... being there.
i wish there were more evenings like that.
next friday the richmond astronomical society has their sky watch at the science center. they set up their telescopes for the public to use for free. i'm. totally. there.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
oh, npr
so when i heard this on npr tonight i was a little heated. the first muslim college has opened in the us, which i think is awesome! i think it's a great idea to be able receive an education against the backdrop of your faith. what upset me was a quote from a student... saying that the reason she decided to go there was so that she could be with people who looked like her, thought like her, had the same experiences as her and so on. it just seems foolish to intentionally surround yourself with people who won't challenge you to think outside yourself.
i'm not overly worked up about, i mean it was a quote from, mostly likely, an 18 year old girl who still has lots of learning to do. and i'm certain that the majority of the students are attending for other reason entirely.
i'm not overly worked up about, i mean it was a quote from, mostly likely, an 18 year old girl who still has lots of learning to do. and i'm certain that the majority of the students are attending for other reason entirely.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
scurrrrrred
i believe this is a drawing of me. my paranoia about being stabbed at work or shot any time outside of work has reached an all time high. which is awesome. and by awesome i mean making me think i've become a crazy person. i blame the sudden surge of violent crimes that have hit close to home.
anyway tonight the front door was making pounding noises which led to dan telling me i should hide in the closet but there's no room in the closet and my axe is buried under 72 hours worth of supplies because i'm also paranoid about hurricanes making my life flood and there being no electricity for weeks. some times i really wish people just didn't tell me things because i have a ridiculous over active imagination and a crippling fear of everything. ugggh. i'm considering getting a baseball bat to keep under my bed. and i probably need to get a gun. and valium. mostly some valium.
i hate being afraid of everything.
comedy sportz closing?!?
i wish it was some sort of sick joke. but sadly it's not. comedy sportz sent out this link this evening. i watched the video of james' plea for help and i cried. comedy sportz has meant so much to me over the years. i first fell in love with comedy sportz when i was in high school when i played on my school's team. i even went to csz camp one summer. it was through comedy sportz that i came into my own. i learned to have a voice. i learned to believe in me. i learned i was good at something. i learned i was funny. comedy sportz camp taught me one of the greatest lessons i've learned in life... FAIL BIG. they always told is that it was better to fail big than to fail not trying. so if you're going down, take the risk, jump in with both feet and FAIL BIG. it's something i think about all the time, especially lately at this cross roads in my life.
they also taught me the difference between sexy and creepy. which, 10 years later, is something i still share with people. 10 years later and people are still laughing at that joke!
and then i think about all the shows i've attended at the theater on seward. the friends i've taken there. the birthdays, holidays and special occasions i've celebrated there. the time i broke my foot there! the laughs i've had. the times i've been feeling so down and miserable that i would just get in the car and drive to a show, knowing that comedy sportz would make it all ok. there are just so many memories and comedy sportz has been such a huge part of my life... i can't bear to think of it not being there. man, i'm crying again!
if you can, purchase some tickets. give them to friends in la. go see a show, you won't regret it. i promise.
in the mean time, comedy sportz and all the talented act-letes will be in my prayers. you're so much more than just a show in la. you've helped make me who i am.
they also taught me the difference between sexy and creepy. which, 10 years later, is something i still share with people. 10 years later and people are still laughing at that joke!
and then i think about all the shows i've attended at the theater on seward. the friends i've taken there. the birthdays, holidays and special occasions i've celebrated there. the time i broke my foot there! the laughs i've had. the times i've been feeling so down and miserable that i would just get in the car and drive to a show, knowing that comedy sportz would make it all ok. there are just so many memories and comedy sportz has been such a huge part of my life... i can't bear to think of it not being there. man, i'm crying again!
if you can, purchase some tickets. give them to friends in la. go see a show, you won't regret it. i promise.
in the mean time, comedy sportz and all the talented act-letes will be in my prayers. you're so much more than just a show in la. you've helped make me who i am.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
incredible
story time. so, first important information to have: the roads in virginia are not lit like they are in other parts of the country. when you are driving through your neighborhood, around town or on the freeway the only light is from your headlights. why virginia thinks this is a good idea i will never know. i've always thought it was terrible because it means you can't go running at night... because we also don't have sidewalks here.
anyway, this evening i was driving down 288, which is a highway with two lanes going each direction. i see a disabled vehicle pulled off to the right with it's hazards on, and as i am in the lane closest to them i decide it would be a good idea to move over to the left lane. i check my mirror and see that another car is coming up pretty fast in that lane and decided not to move. then i got the impression that no, i really needed to change lanes and that person could slow down (i was going the speed limit after all).
just as i am changing lanes and passing the disabled car what should come into the view from my headlights? a person standing in the center of the lane i was just in. a moment goes like this: lane change, person, i'm gone. had to all occur in under 2 seconds. if i hadn't changed lanes i would have hit that person going 65 miles an hour because i didn't see them until i was right on them. i can't even imagine what that would have been like. i can't imagine the amount of awful terrible things that would be happening right now if i hadn't listened and changed lanes. and i can't imagine what the person could have been doing standing on the highway. how self involved, selfish and stupid can that person be? whatever was lost on the freeway was not worth risking their life and the lives of the other people on the highway. i understand that we all make mistakes, but standing on the freeway in the dark is a pretty stupid mistake.
at any rate what i wanted to say was that i am grateful for a Heavenly Father who prevented a tragedy this evening. i am grateful to have the Spirit as a companion. i am grateful that i listened.
anyway, this evening i was driving down 288, which is a highway with two lanes going each direction. i see a disabled vehicle pulled off to the right with it's hazards on, and as i am in the lane closest to them i decide it would be a good idea to move over to the left lane. i check my mirror and see that another car is coming up pretty fast in that lane and decided not to move. then i got the impression that no, i really needed to change lanes and that person could slow down (i was going the speed limit after all).
just as i am changing lanes and passing the disabled car what should come into the view from my headlights? a person standing in the center of the lane i was just in. a moment goes like this: lane change, person, i'm gone. had to all occur in under 2 seconds. if i hadn't changed lanes i would have hit that person going 65 miles an hour because i didn't see them until i was right on them. i can't even imagine what that would have been like. i can't imagine the amount of awful terrible things that would be happening right now if i hadn't listened and changed lanes. and i can't imagine what the person could have been doing standing on the highway. how self involved, selfish and stupid can that person be? whatever was lost on the freeway was not worth risking their life and the lives of the other people on the highway. i understand that we all make mistakes, but standing on the freeway in the dark is a pretty stupid mistake.
at any rate what i wanted to say was that i am grateful for a Heavenly Father who prevented a tragedy this evening. i am grateful to have the Spirit as a companion. i am grateful that i listened.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
back in the swing
i've started running again. and by running i mean mostly walking. taking a couple months off was a bad idea. at any rate i've done at least 2 miles each day for the last 3 days. in a couple weeks i want to head to the downtown trail for the 6 miler. hopefully it will stop raining for a few days so it's not all muddy but i'm antsy to get back on that trail. i love it so much. it's just the most beautiful run and it totally makes it worth it.
i've developed a phantom of the opera obsession lately. i've watched the movie twice this week. ha. the music is addictive!
i've developed a phantom of the opera obsession lately. i've watched the movie twice this week. ha. the music is addictive!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
cheeses love you
it was so incredibly humid today. it was so humid that my brain said to me 'this is what it feels like to be a fish.' and i believe my brain. the good news is that 1. i didn't bother flat ironing my hair day and 2. some day virginia will return to a normal level of humidity.
i have finally moved back to the house in glen allen. and i have unpacked all my belongings and made my room into a some what orderly place. i didn't think this day would ever arrive... but jessica manhandled me in the parking lot today and some how that convinced me to move home. it's good though b/c em gets back from australia next weekend and we're starting up our gym routine again. i'm super excited about that. so that's the real reason i moved home.
today in sunday school we were talking about being so happy about something that you shouted for joy. and i said i can't remember a time that i've ever been that excited about something. and then at the end of church kimy said to me 'do you want grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner?' and i said 'YESSSSSS!!!! YES I DOOOOOOOO!' and then i realized i just shouted for joy about grilled cheese sandwiches. and i was sorry that i wasted my first shouting for joy on toasted bread and melted cheese.
and then we ate the grilled cheese and i realized it wasn't a waste at all.
i have finally moved back to the house in glen allen. and i have unpacked all my belongings and made my room into a some what orderly place. i didn't think this day would ever arrive... but jessica manhandled me in the parking lot today and some how that convinced me to move home. it's good though b/c em gets back from australia next weekend and we're starting up our gym routine again. i'm super excited about that. so that's the real reason i moved home.
today in sunday school we were talking about being so happy about something that you shouted for joy. and i said i can't remember a time that i've ever been that excited about something. and then at the end of church kimy said to me 'do you want grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner?' and i said 'YESSSSSS!!!! YES I DOOOOOOOO!' and then i realized i just shouted for joy about grilled cheese sandwiches. and i was sorry that i wasted my first shouting for joy on toasted bread and melted cheese.
and then we ate the grilled cheese and i realized it wasn't a waste at all.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
costa rica
so my friend katie is in costa rica with the family she nannys for. i was like hey katie what time is it in costa rica? and she said 9:30 and i was like 'what? it's 11:30 here.' turns out... costa rica... not in the caribbean. dumb. so i was like hey i'm going to check out this costa rica place so i googled a map. here is what i learned:
1. costa rica = NOT an island
2. costa rica = part of central america
3. costa rica has a city name ciudad. ciudad is spanish for city. it's like if we named a city "city". dear costa rica,
try harder.
thanks,
the world
4. costa rica has a city named golfito. this is where mini
the rivers just a river
first, i would like to state that i don't much care for the music in les mis. i've been listening to the broadway station on pandora and inevitably when i hate a song it's les mis. there, i said it.
i've had a very interesting week. and by interesting, i actually mean other words like exhausting, emotionally draining, overwhelming, stressful, sad and a bit of random adventure. work has been exasperating lately. everything seems to be getting on my nerves lately. friday i was at my wit's end. first thing in the morning i had to record all the phone greetings in the store. when we had to do this about a year ago i was able to get someone else to do it but this time there was no getting out of it. the phone recording gives me a lot of stress b/c of my tightly held belief that i have a lisp. additionally, i'm from california and i don't talk the same as the people here. so that kind of had me raw for the rest of the day. then i was working with two people that had just pushed me to the edge of what i was able to deal with.
the first lady was just mostly full of the oddest requests and questions. not to mention she was planning this huge party the day before it was to happen. why? why would you do that? if you want to do that at your house, fine... but not some where else. the questions were mostly things like 'if i order the fruit platter can you cut everything into balls?' and 'why don't you serve deviled eggs?' the second person has been a thorn for a while. he called about a month ago saying that he called me *last august* while i was on vacation and left a message and wanted to know why i didn't call him back. anyway he had an event last year and he had an event this last week and has one coming up in a few weeks. he called to change the upcoming event's date. i called back and spoke to his wife. the conversation went like this:
me: i got the message, we can do that, no problem, blah blah blah.
her: ok, i just have one question.
me: ok...
her: the room seemed smaller this time, did you move the wall?
me: uhhh, no.
her: well, i'm pretty sure the room is a couple feet smaller.
me: no, no it's not. i have to go now. because i'm going to kill myself.
i'm pretty sure i got off the phone and called her an idiot. with some added expletives. i don't know how often restaurants go around moving the walls a couple feet, but i'm guessing it's not that often. i'm just not sure how much longer i can handle this job without hurting someone. ugh.
monday i was out to dinner and our waiter was a guy who used to be waiter at my work. and was constantly trying to get me to go out with him. so dinner was *fun*. i feel like this entire week was filled with people trying to get me to do things i don't want to do. like i was constantly being guilted into doing things i didn't want to do. not like hey do these drugs or help me rob this liquor store... more like hey go to such and such place with me ::guiltguiltguilt:: last night i said to my self 'self, no more are you allowed to make choices based on guilt.' but of course that won't work b/c the only person who can't guilt trip me into doing something is me. i just feel like too often i let other people control what goes on in my life by being passive.
the other day i made the trek up to maryland to go to the temple and it was once again closed due to a power outage. it's the oddest thing. and it just compounded the feeling that nothing works out like i expect it to lately. it's not like things are going terrible or something like that... it's just that nothing works out the way i think it will... more so than i'm used to.
i wish there weren't always so many secrets. i wish people were more open and just said what they were thinking with less fear of what would happen. i wish i could just cry and not feel like an idiot.
i got a letter from kevin this week. he's doing well at the mtc. he's learning a lot and is excited to get to thailand.
i miss him. a lot.
i feel like something is coming. i just hope i see it when it comes. i'm afraid my eyes will still be closed.
update: i do like a couple songs from les mis. on my own and i dreamed a dream. but that's it.
i've had a very interesting week. and by interesting, i actually mean other words like exhausting, emotionally draining, overwhelming, stressful, sad and a bit of random adventure. work has been exasperating lately. everything seems to be getting on my nerves lately. friday i was at my wit's end. first thing in the morning i had to record all the phone greetings in the store. when we had to do this about a year ago i was able to get someone else to do it but this time there was no getting out of it. the phone recording gives me a lot of stress b/c of my tightly held belief that i have a lisp. additionally, i'm from california and i don't talk the same as the people here. so that kind of had me raw for the rest of the day. then i was working with two people that had just pushed me to the edge of what i was able to deal with.
the first lady was just mostly full of the oddest requests and questions. not to mention she was planning this huge party the day before it was to happen. why? why would you do that? if you want to do that at your house, fine... but not some where else. the questions were mostly things like 'if i order the fruit platter can you cut everything into balls?' and 'why don't you serve deviled eggs?' the second person has been a thorn for a while. he called about a month ago saying that he called me *last august* while i was on vacation and left a message and wanted to know why i didn't call him back. anyway he had an event last year and he had an event this last week and has one coming up in a few weeks. he called to change the upcoming event's date. i called back and spoke to his wife. the conversation went like this:
me: i got the message, we can do that, no problem, blah blah blah.
her: ok, i just have one question.
me: ok...
her: the room seemed smaller this time, did you move the wall?
me: uhhh, no.
her: well, i'm pretty sure the room is a couple feet smaller.
me: no, no it's not. i have to go now. because i'm going to kill myself.
i'm pretty sure i got off the phone and called her an idiot. with some added expletives. i don't know how often restaurants go around moving the walls a couple feet, but i'm guessing it's not that often. i'm just not sure how much longer i can handle this job without hurting someone. ugh.
monday i was out to dinner and our waiter was a guy who used to be waiter at my work. and was constantly trying to get me to go out with him. so dinner was *fun*. i feel like this entire week was filled with people trying to get me to do things i don't want to do. like i was constantly being guilted into doing things i didn't want to do. not like hey do these drugs or help me rob this liquor store... more like hey go to such and such place with me ::guiltguiltguilt:: last night i said to my self 'self, no more are you allowed to make choices based on guilt.' but of course that won't work b/c the only person who can't guilt trip me into doing something is me. i just feel like too often i let other people control what goes on in my life by being passive.
the other day i made the trek up to maryland to go to the temple and it was once again closed due to a power outage. it's the oddest thing. and it just compounded the feeling that nothing works out like i expect it to lately. it's not like things are going terrible or something like that... it's just that nothing works out the way i think it will... more so than i'm used to.
i wish there weren't always so many secrets. i wish people were more open and just said what they were thinking with less fear of what would happen. i wish i could just cry and not feel like an idiot.
i got a letter from kevin this week. he's doing well at the mtc. he's learning a lot and is excited to get to thailand.
i miss him. a lot.
i feel like something is coming. i just hope i see it when it comes. i'm afraid my eyes will still be closed.
update: i do like a couple songs from les mis. on my own and i dreamed a dream. but that's it.
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