first, i would like to state that i don't much care for the music in les mis. i've been listening to the broadway station on pandora and inevitably when i hate a song it's les mis. there, i said it.
i've had a very interesting week. and by interesting, i actually mean other words like exhausting, emotionally draining, overwhelming, stressful, sad and a bit of random adventure. work has been exasperating lately. everything seems to be getting on my nerves lately. friday i was at my wit's end. first thing in the morning i had to record all the phone greetings in the store. when we had to do this about a year ago i was able to get someone else to do it but this time there was no getting out of it. the phone recording gives me a lot of stress b/c of my tightly held belief that i have a lisp. additionally, i'm from california and i don't talk the same as the people here. so that kind of had me raw for the rest of the day. then i was working with two people that had just pushed me to the edge of what i was able to deal with.
the first lady was just mostly full of the oddest requests and questions. not to mention she was planning this huge party the day before it was to happen. why? why would you do that? if you want to do that at your house, fine... but not some where else. the questions were mostly things like 'if i order the fruit platter can you cut everything into balls?' and 'why don't you serve deviled eggs?' the second person has been a thorn for a while. he called about a month ago saying that he called me *last august* while i was on vacation and left a message and wanted to know why i didn't call him back. anyway he had an event last year and he had an event this last week and has one coming up in a few weeks. he called to change the upcoming event's date. i called back and spoke to his wife. the conversation went like this:
me: i got the message, we can do that, no problem, blah blah blah.
her: ok, i just have one question.
me: ok...
her: the room seemed smaller this time, did you move the wall?
me: uhhh, no.
her: well, i'm pretty sure the room is a couple feet smaller.
me: no, no it's not. i have to go now. because i'm going to kill myself.
i'm pretty sure i got off the phone and called her an idiot. with some added expletives. i don't know how often restaurants go around moving the walls a couple feet, but i'm guessing it's not that often. i'm just not sure how much longer i can handle this job without hurting someone. ugh.
monday i was out to dinner and our waiter was a guy who used to be waiter at my work. and was constantly trying to get me to go out with him. so dinner was *fun*. i feel like this entire week was filled with people trying to get me to do things i don't want to do. like i was constantly being guilted into doing things i didn't want to do. not like hey do these drugs or help me rob this liquor store... more like hey go to such and such place with me ::guiltguiltguilt:: last night i said to my self 'self, no more are you allowed to make choices based on guilt.' but of course that won't work b/c the only person who can't guilt trip me into doing something is me. i just feel like too often i let other people control what goes on in my life by being passive.
the other day i made the trek up to maryland to go to the temple and it was once again closed due to a power outage. it's the oddest thing. and it just compounded the feeling that nothing works out like i expect it to lately. it's not like things are going terrible or something like that... it's just that nothing works out the way i think it will... more so than i'm used to.
i wish there weren't always so many secrets. i wish people were more open and just said what they were thinking with less fear of what would happen. i wish i could just cry and not feel like an idiot.
i got a letter from kevin this week. he's doing well at the mtc. he's learning a lot and is excited to get to thailand.
i miss him. a lot.
i feel like something is coming. i just hope i see it when it comes. i'm afraid my eyes will still be closed.
update: i do like a couple songs from les mis. on my own and i dreamed a dream. but that's it.
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