i want to wash my hands, my face and hair with snow

actually, i think the whole washing yourself in snow thing is a really bad idea. anywho, we got a bit of snow this week. i know, i know... more lies, it doesn't snow here. it doesn't snow here, except when it does. and when it does the state shuts down. it's like snow sucks every virginian's will to live. i don't mind though b/c they set me up with a hotel two nights this week so that i could still get to work. yeah you do hotel party. the hotel party mostly involved me either laying in bed not being able to sleep or being asleep during the middle of the day. and we painted our toe nails. so that's a win.

this morning i was thinking about my niece. once upon a time when she was two i took her with me to have lunch with me and one of my friends. i think she sensed that the situation was kind of awkward and instead of crying or something she pretended to be asleep. we sat down for lunch and she just sat there, board stiff with her eyes closed. one time when he got up to refill his drink she half opened her eyes to look at me and then when she spotted him she closed them again. it was the funniest thing in the entire world to me. that at such a young age she was able to recognize awkwardness and decided the best option was just to bow out.

i wish sometimes that i could just do what she did. ha. awkward situation? oh wait i'm asleep, i'll wake up when you decide to go away. i feel like that would make life a little easier. my problem is that my brain typically shuts down when i'm in an uncomfortable situation. i'm unable to process any new information, unable to use words, unable to function. it's really just terrible. it would probably be more understandable for the other person if i did just pretend to me asleep. at least then the other person would be like oh she is asleep instead being like oh what happened to elaina's brain?

this is part of the reason i hate when people ask me what i'm thinking. you ask me what i'm thinking and instantly i have no words.

thems the breaks i guess. i'm hoping to have a go at the second half of a conversation that happened earlier this week that i mostly just watched in an out-of-body-esque experience. oh life!