it's big, it's heavy, it's... wood?

ren and stimpy was such a horrific cartoon. i don't know why we ever watched it. if i ever get ren and stimpy flashbacks they're never good. it's generally involving whizzing on electric fences or pink eye or something young children shouldn't be watching.

saturday i went to walmart to buy a mop so i could clean my floors finally. after i went to walmart i went to the pizza place (goodness knows i wasn't about to clean AND cook on the same day). anyway, i'm sitting there waiting for my pizza and the delivery guy shouts from behind the counter "you were just at walmart!" and i didn't say anything but i was thinking 'am i supposed to say something?' and then he says "yes you were, you bought a mop!" and i said 'yeah and now i have to clean my floors.' and then he explained to me how he's not a stalker but really who is going to believe that after a random man tells them where they have been and what they bought there.

saturday i had three netflix arrive. it was very exciting. however, i don't know what i was thinking when i lined up my movies last week. the movies i got were:

henry poole is here - guy finds out he has 6 weeks left to live and decides to binge on booze and twinkies until his new neighbors intervene

ghost town - after technically dying on the operating table man can see and communicate with ghosts and is given a second chance at life

the bucket list - two men who have cancer find out the only have a short time to live and decide to live life to the fullest before they die

sensing a theme here? i totally didn't realize it but i must have been having a morbid moment. or maybe my subconscious is sending me a get a grip on your life message. ha. at any rate i got a good laugh after i opened the netflix envelopes. maybe it's because of my fear of a brain tumor. who knows.

a few random thoughts:

1. in case you ever think to ask yourself 'is elaina socially retarded?' the answer is yes, yes she is.
2. i am eating a chocolate puddin' cup. be jealous.
3. if anyone ever randomly offers you a carrot, say no. it will only lead to shenanigans.

i was going to go into work saturday to get caught up on some admin stuff (paper work, data entry, all the fun stuff) but i woke up saturday and i said to myself 'self, you are being ridiculous! stay in bed until noon. do not be a workaholic!' and so i did. the good news is i will definitely have plenty of work to keep me busy all week. YAY!

here is something i don't understand. i've noticed it a lot since i moved out here. i don't know if it's an 'east coast thang' or maybe it's a new trend for '09 or maybe it's b/c a lot of the people i meet here have recently moved here from some where else... anyway i've noticed a lot of guys have what they call "quasi-girlfriends." i'm unsure if it's b/c they are only partially human or partially committed. i don't know. my whole thing about this is, dude if she's only a quasi cut her loose. in relationships, i think you're either in or you're out. you can't be kind of some one's boyfriend, just like you can't be kind of pregnant or kind of in jail or kind of dead. those should be yes or no in my book. additionally, she's a big girl and she's better off without some guy stringing her a long. to use a 'ewing-ism', i "need to be enlightened" as to why anyone agrees to this. do these women know they are quasis? is quasi the pc term for friends with benefits? as someone who thinks she could possibly have been referred to as a quasi in the past it would have been so much better to have been told 'see ya later' and moved on.

my other thought is this is a ploy... a way to say 'women are into me, i could have one if i wanted or i could not have one if i wanted.' this reminds me of high school. at one point laurel and i decided that this very line of thinking was indeed the best way to catch a man (or, really, a boy). anyway, we didn't want to go around saying we had quasi boyfriends b/c when you're in high school people know your business and if you randomly start saying you have a boyfriend people are going to ask questions and know you're a liar (and there's nothing worse than admitting you have an imaginary boyfriend). no, we decided the best way to get guys to think we hung out with other guys and therefore were wanted by guys was to... smell like guys. and so we started wearing her brother's cologne. i don't particularly remember whatever became of that. i don't think it lasted very long but i know for sure it didn't work. oh the kooky hi jinx of high schoolers. the moral of the story is that elaborate traps rarely work (please note: i didn't say never... though they've yet to work for me... after all i'm going for a man, not a rabbit).

if anyone has an ideas for things that are good to do with a wheat thin please let me know. so far my ideas are:
1. sliced cheddar cheese on top
2. dipped in strawberry yogurt
3. with a diet coke
4. with pizza sauce, grated cheese and microwaved (though this seems a little labor intensive with small pay out ie low roi)

i am DYING to go to a baseball game. DYING. if anyone wants to go please let me know.