a follower

so i have my first official follower. thanks amber! YAY! i'm not totally sure what a follower is but i'm excited to have one.

anyway. here are some things i've been thinking about:

if someone asked me for words to describe myself single would not be in the top ten i would think of. i actually don't think it would be one of the words i would think of at all. single just isn't some thing that i think of me as being... it's not who i am. i was just thinking about that tonight b/c someone had said something about being a single person like that is one is their defining characteristics and i just thought hmm i guess i'm not in that group.

i've been exhausted lately. i'm not sure what my problem is. i just constantly feel like i could fall asleep at any moment. i don't know if it's the unkickable cold, all the work, the stress, the fact that all i do is sit and eat d&b food, i'm not dancing any more... all of the above. i think i must be going through a depressed phase or something. need more sunshine, less rain. virginia.

i can't wait until lauren comes to visit. i think it will help to have a familiar face for a bit. oh and if annie comes out to visit it would be brilliant.

today a manager at work was talking to me and i wasn't paying all that much attention. he had come up to me two different times and asked me things and i had told him the answers and then he came up to me a third time and was like what is wrong with you? you've only said like two words and i was just like i don't know i guess i'm tired and he was just like what? what's wrong with you. and i kind of said meh and walked away. i nearly started to cry though. i don't even know why. i wasn't sad before he started talking to me and like 5 minutes later i was fine again, but for whatever reason the moment just made me want to cry buckets. some times i wonder what's going on in my brain when i'm not paying attention.

so today i got an email saying i needed to go to a webinar for some training. on something i'm already totally trained on. it was just so absurd to me. that my first piece of manager training i've been offered is on something i'm already excellent at doing. at first i thought well you know at least they're trying. and then i thought no, they should've asked me what i need training on instead of wasting valuable tools and resources. it just was one of the moments when i think to myself 'gee corporate is out of touch with what is going on here.' i know they're trying. i know they think they're helping. but some days i would just like to shake them and say hey how about you come run this office while i go on vacation for a week. it is frustrating to be asked to do things beyond my skill level with no direction, to be asked to run the office alone, to get a million things done and just feel like no one understands what i'm trying to do. it's frustrating. frustrating is only the beginning of the words i like to use to describe the emotions i feel regarding corporate. one day i would love to mail my cocktail napkin with my outlined speech about how i'm a straight shooter who doesn't blow smoke to corporate. ::hahaha::

today i hit the 60k mark for the gl. :) when i get that bonus check i'm totally splurging at godiva.

as a final note i'm really not as sad as i might sound. ::hahaha:: just venting. if you've ever worked with me you know how i get on mondays. i'm fine.