Monday, March 29, 2010

an empire state of mind

life has been go, go, go lately. i can't wait to have some down time. i really need an evening to just zone out. wednesday i'm getting a massage right after work and then coming home and hibernating. as a side note, did you know that bears get up to go to the bathroom while they are hibernating? weird, huh?

tomorrow i have my first tap lesson. i'm really ridiculously excited. i can't wait until i have learned enough that i can go tapping around the house driving everyone insane. it's all i've ever wanted in life. well, and to have a time machine... but that's a given.

sometimes i worry about people and there's nothing i can do about it. in some ways i'm too sensitive for my own good. i hear about some touch of sadness and i feel like my heart might crumple in on itself.

that reminds me of the imogen heap song where she says she's got his heart in a headlock. someone i was with said it didn't make any sense b/c it's a heart in a headlock. and i said well it's easier and more clear than saying i'm making a triangle with my arm and squishing your heart in the middle. that doesn't make for an awesome song.

anyway, the weirdest things break my heart. someone was telling me a story at work this morning and i started crying and it was not an appropriate reaction to the story but i couldn't control myself. and of course that's right when my boss walks in. the good news is i scored a new teddy bear out of the embarrassment. i told my boss he should stop giving me things when i'm upset b/c he is just rewarding my bad behavior. pretty soon i'm just going to start fake crying or having fake mental break downs to see what kind of fun stuff he comes up with.

my work bud is my favorite person. he boosts my self esteem. makes me feel normal on days when i could just wallow in self pity. i'm a pretty lucky woman. i could be perfectly content to just sit and talk all day to him... about everything, nothing and all the things in between the two.

i've been going through a lot of changes on the inside lately. for the better. reclaiming me. stretching who i am to who i am to become. it's difficult and wonderful at the same time.

my latest motto is it's better to wear out than to rust out. i want to learn and experience and feel and smell and taste and be everything.

we did the monument 10k on saturday. today i signed up for a 5k mud run in may. there is a 10k trail scramble the day after the mud run that i'm considering doing. have i lost my mind?

1 comment:

Laurel said...

From what I understand bears don't technically hibernate. They just sleep a lot in the winter, but they are not really hibernating, i.e. the getting up to go to the bathroom. Tortoises do however, hibernate.