baby look at you now

a friend just posted this quote on facebook:

I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. -Michael Jordan

it reminded me of a conversation i had recently in the car with a friend. i seem to do all my best thinking in the car. so lately i've been really struck by the realization that generally people don't set high enough goals. people are so paralyzed at the idea of not achieving a goal, of falling short, of failing that they set only small, easily achievable goals. and really, how is that helping?

as far as goals, are you better off if you make a goal to lose 5 pounds (when you need to lose 50) and you lose 5 or if you set the goal to lose 50 and you only lose 10? in the first scenario you've met your goal but only lost 5 pounds. in the second, you have failed by a large amount but lost twice as must weight.

i think we are too attached to the idea of failure. we act as though failing is the worst thing that could happen to a person. like it's some great evil that we need to run from and be ashamed of. there's no shame in failing because it means you're trying something.

so back to the car, during the course of our conversation i thought of a great way to illustrate my point to my friend. humor me and play a long.

i asked her this:

10 years ago what were your goals? what did you think your life would be like now?
she responded i thought i'd be married, with kids.
have you achieved either of those things?
no.

5 years ago what were your goals? what did you think your life would be like now?
i'd thought i'd be married and graduated from college.
have you achieved either of those goals?
i've graduated from college.

1 year ago what were your goals? where did you think you would be?
i thought i would be teaching.
but you aren't. do you think that makes you a failure or do you think you are where you are supposed to be right now in your life?

she said that she definitely felt like she was doing what she was supposed to be doing with her life right now.

exactly. think of all the goals you've made over your life and never achieved but you have been led to other, greater experiences. so really shouldn't we all be setting our aim as high as possible and trying with all we have to get to the highest point and let the rest work itself out? because really when it comes down to it you're probably going to get redirected from your plans anyway so you might as well shoot for the top.

i believe in setting big goals. set big goals and figure out smaller steps to achieve them. set goals that are bigger than you. set goals that stretch and seem impossible... and then set stepping stones in front of you to get you there.

and get out there and fail big! fail. get rejected. say something stupid and mean it. fall down and get banged up. hit dead ends, make wrong turns, fight for something, for someone, for some where. don't apologize for not living up to someone's expectations, not even your own. just go and do what you can, while you can and be stronger than you ever thought you could be.

anyway, that's my rant for today. i can proudly say that today i have had at least one miserable failure. onward and upward.