on being single

first, i would like to start this by saying, i am neither a man hater nor am i sad single lady. i generally enjoy my singledom because of the freedom it allows me at this point in my life. i have the ability to move across the country as i please, i can make financial decisions on my own, i can travel and generally spend my time and resources as i please. anyway, the point of this isn't to sit around trying to convince you that i'm happy being single. obviously it's better to not be single if you're in a good relationship. i'm just saying that i'm happy with what i have and i see the positive in my situation. now, on to my thoughts on being single.

facebook. the ultimate provider of relationship 411. first, there's the relationship status updates. no longer do you have to ask the awkward 'what are we doing here?' question. not sure where you stand? just ask if you should change your status to in a relationship. so less awkward. i wish that was a joke but sadly i have had friends tell me that they have had conversations like that (i have never had that conversation... but i would never admit to it if i had). things are rocky but he doesn't want to talk about it? IT'S COMPLICATED. want to break up but don't want to do it in person or deal with feelings? SINGLE. that will send him, and all your mutual friends, the message loud and clear.

another helpful tool on facebook is the status update. post something along the lines of 'is not angry, she's just disappointed and hurt.' you are certain to get a what did i do text and it also alerts all the girls to be on call for ice cream runs. two birds, one status update.

the most entertaining thing to me is when you change you relationship status on facebook it alerts all your friends who can then comment on the change. a facebook friend recently went from single to in a relationship and instantly there were comments of congratulations all over the place. the thing that is funny about this to me, is in the regular world when someone tells you they started dating someone you don't normally react with the word congratulations. so why is that the appropriate response in the cyber world? what about oh, who are you dating? is he nice? does he have a lot of muscles? a job?

i don't even want to get into facebook flirting. the ish just makes me sick.

next single thought. i don't believe in internet dating. i know it has worked for other people in the past but it just isn't for me at this point in my life (i hope i never reach a point in my life where it is for me in all reality). my problem with internet dating is you should never get to know someone and develop an attachment to them before meeting in person. i think that initial gut reaction is important. it's that gut reaction that says RUN FOR THE HILLS THIS GUY IS A CREEPER. if you already are emotionally attached to the person though, it's likely that your brain will tell your gut to be quiet... maybe even with chocolate cake and french fries. that said, the other day i got an email at work for a mormon dating site. at first i didn't think anything about out it. mostly because my facebook says that i'm lds and i get a lot of spam in my email at home from dating sites like eharmony. and then i realized i was at work. on my work email. an email that no where in the world in any database would be tied to be being either (a) mormon or (b) single and then i cried. i cried because i realized one of my friends thinks i have reached that point in life where i am getting too old and unmarried for comfort. sure, sure i know you just want me to be happy like you are, who ever you are (please don't email me saying it was you... who ever you are!). but don't worry friends i'm still too cool for meeting guys on the internet. i said to myself, 'self pull it together... this will be funny in a couple days.' it was actually funny about an hour later. but i still wonder when did i become the girl who people suggest internet dating to?! i'm way too cool for that. the day i get a cat or start knitting i will sign up for a mormon dating site. promise.

my final dating thought: i'm very susceptible to suggestive dating. no, not suggestive like that. more like if someone says something like 'i don't understand why you and so&so aren't dating... i think you'd make a good couple' i'm instantly like you're right we would make a good couple, i will do that now. this happens a lot. because in addition to people suggesting internet dating sites, they also like to suggest potential boyfriends. i recently had a coworker accuse me of dating someone who came in to the store with me. this particular coworker does this anytime a male comes into the store. it goes like this:
him: WAS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND?
me: no.
him: YES IT WAS! YOU'RE A LIAR! THAT'S YOUR BOYFRIEND! STOP LYING!!!
me: no. what? no, that's just a friend.
him: OH YEAH? I BET HE'S A REAL GOOD FRIEND! SO GOOD THAT HE IS YOUR BOYFRIEND, YOU LIAR!!!!
me: what the what? i'm going back to my office.
elaina's head: yeah LIAR! MAYBE THAT is YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!
me: what? you know that's not true... wait, do i secretly love him?
elaina's head: i don't even know what we're talking about. where's the chocolate?
me: ARGH! thems the breaks.

at any rate, people suggest and i will then spend the next two weeks trying to figure out whether or not i actually am interested in someone or if it's just the power of suggestion.

and thats my current single thoughts.