this is a drawing i did of our well. it hates freedom. laurel is awesome and made it in to this lovely graphic with color. i've promised jessica that i will put in on a shirt for her some day.

anyway, our well is still holding the water hostage. we haven't had reliable, clean water in about a week. the well fixer upper people are paying our house a visit on friday. with any luck i'll be able to move home shortly after their visit. don't get me wrong, it's been great staying out here with kimy! she's a fun girl and she has cable, but there's something to be said for sleeping in your own bed surrounded by your stuff. i like my stuff. and i especially like being surrounded by it.

so i've been feeling down b/c kevin is gone (and by down, i mean i often start sobbing uncontrollably at weird moments) so i decided to take a trip to the temple this afternoon. since i live on the east coast this is not a minor commitment... we're talking a three hour drive each direction, if you're lucky. but it's totally worth it. anyway, i get an hour and a half into the drive when my friend let me know that the temple was closed for the day. so i got off the freeway and drove back an hour and a half. it was a huge disappointment and i'm trying to figure out what lesson i was supposed to learn from this. or maybe there isn't one. on the way up i was playing the ask the radio a question game as it is the long drive tradition. i asked the radio, 'what's my theme song for this evening?' and it responded with a song about following God. which i thought was nice but then i didn't get to go to the temple and i'm i'm still trying to figure out what exactly happened. thems the breaks some times i guess.

i'm still working on getting to a normal head space. i hope it happens soon. i just wish things were different right now. the idea that i'm struggling with right now is that it would be so much easier to just not get involved with people. to not become attached to people and places, but where's the living in that? if you don't risk things you never learn or grow. we all need to hurt some times. but it's just so easy to want to say never again. part of me is like 'hey elaina lets stop doing this, pretend it doesn't matter' and the other part of me is like 'shut up robot elaina, this is life so live it.' being a robot is easier but i don't think it's better.