thinking things

i bought a carton of chocolate milk and i have been drinking it straight from the container.  because i'm probably a time traveler.  at the very least i'm a big believer in cutting out the middle man in the chocolate milk delivery cycle.

i've been thinking about starting a hobby but whenever i try to figure that out i get tired and just read instead.  some times i think i'd like to start doing stand up and that makes all sorts of weird butterfly things happen in my stomach which makes me both terrified and excited.  terrified and excited is basically the only way i ever want to feel.  but it's difficult to sustain the feeling of terricited b/c eventually you do what it is you're thinking about and you either die or it becomes un-terriciting.  heres to chasing the fleeting feeling of terricitement. 

for me this is part of the draw of dating and the early stages of relationships.  b/c at any moment it could turn out the one of you is a murderer or has a habit of constantly asking for nudes even though you've explained you don't do that or only eats peanut butter.  you just never know what's around the corner as you start to get to know someone.  this is both the terrifying and exciting part of meeting new people and opening your world to them.  because we're all insane.

there are times when i wish i could un-know something about someone.  it's not so bad if something is told to you second hand like once i was told that one of my coworkers has an obsession with wearing diapers.  which is weird enough to be true but weird enough that i can definitely pretend that it absolutely is not true.  worse is when you learn it first hand.  like when someone tells you they don't believe in dinosaurs.  or that they don't like to read.  or you find out that someone's safe word during sex is pikachu.  these are things you can never unlearn and you have to face them armed with that knowledge every time you look into their eyes.

knowledge is power, am i right?

speaking of power, can we take a moment to talk about the fact that i'm still in love with commander riker?  my love of charming men with brown hair stems from my love of riker.  it's been years and i'm still chasing that riker dream.  charming mean with brown hair and a little power.  that's all i'm looking for at this point.  spread the word.

plenty of fish and other things like whales and coral

hey guys, remember when i was a vegetarian for like two years b/c i was angry about cow rape?  just thought we should all remember that for a bit.

anywho, today i was reminded that i live in a sitcom.  sometimes i forget that i'm living in a sitcom and i think maybe i'm just a normal person and then something ridiculous happens and i'm like oh right, i remember this.

a little less than a year ago i went on a date with a man i had met on eharmony.  i didn't want to go on the date with him b/c that day he had text messaged me and in the message he called me ELAINE which is my all time least favorite thing to be called.  i'd rather you were just like hey crapbag than call me elaine.  so i'm totally not feeling the date b/c this sucker called me elaine and i found out that day that he didn't have brown hair (which is a ridiculously huge thing for me... also you're probably right now thinking to yourself, ah yes self, i totally see now why elaina is single, yes, yes, it finally makes sense).  but i went through with it anyway.  to my recollection it was a perfectly adequate evening but i had no intention of following up with him and would probably only say sure if asked to go out again.

but i wasn't asked.  never heard from him again and definitely felt like that was the best outcome for all parties.

flash forward to the present.  a couple of days ago i decided i wanted to see what plenty of fish was about b/c my friend maria is trying it and she seemed to say that it was both ok and terrible at the same time and for whatever reason that got me really curious about what goes on there.  i love things that on the positive side are just ok and on the negative side are terrible.  i want to see what those odds are like!

so i sign up for an account, upload a few pictures, write a sentence or two for the bio (which i think just says "i like books and bicycles, lets be friends"... totally the most accurate bio that was ever written) and then the waiting begins.  you start getting messages from mostly weirdos who say creepy things.  or weirdos who send you form emails.  or weirdos who don't remember they already went on a date with you and that it did not end well.

i kid you not, this morning i look at my phone and there's a message from this dude, saying hey how was your weekend.  and i thought oh weird, he found me again i guess i'll say hello.  long story short, turns out he didn't remember me and i had to be like uuum we've already met and gone out and it was not great, sooooo...

sooooo... lets continue chatting b/c now there is no easy way out of this conversation unless i just want to delete the thing from my phone which really does seem like the best course of action at this point.  however knowing my luck i will definitely run into this man again.  and he will probably hit on me without realizing who i am and i will have to once again say 'hey, no!  remember?  YOU DON'T LIKE ME.'

and i really hate reminding people that they don't like me.

the good news is that clearly he doesn't like me b/c of my personality (since he contacted me again based on pictures) and it's a lot easier for me to accept rejection based on my personality b/c that just means he's wrong b/c i'm AWESOME and he can just go and being single with his wrongness.

in conclusion, plenty of fish: it's both ok and terrible.  try it out!