did it all for the cookie

this is a story of something that happened today at work and i'm being lazy, so here is the cut and paste version from a previous sharing...

So last week at work my manager was talking to this girl and they were talking about needing a place to store gift cards and the girl was saying that he could use one of the cookie boxes for it. That was when I walked in and I was like 'umm is cookie box what you call your tummy, because that's where you keep all your cookies?' Anyway, it turned into this thing that we would call our stomach cookie boxes.

My manager walks in today and is like yeah you can't say cookie box anymore. And I was like what why. And he says well I was talking to my friend and I told him I need to get something to put in my cookie box and his friend was like what the hell, why would you say that?? And he was like what, that's what I call my stomach now and his friend was like no, you need to look up cookie box on urban dictionary.

Turns out it's a slang term for vagina.
 
So my manager told his friend that he needed to get something to put in his vagina.

and then i about passed out from laughing so hard.  gah, i don't think that story will ever stop being funny to me.

july times

i've been clean of soda for a week now.  a week, you fools.  i've also been off meat for, uhmm, let me count, FIFTEEN MONTHS.  i'm basically a champion of justice at this point.  no big deal, except yes, very big deal.

i'm super in love with the lego movie.  if you haven't seen it yet, stop reading this and go watch it right now.  i'll wait.

ok, so totally awesome right?  tonight i was out having a walk about and i came across this family who was all singing everything is awesome and it was the best moment of the day.  BOOM. everything is awesome, everything is cool when you're part of a team.

I DON'T WANT TO GO TO WORK TOMORROW.  i both hate and love my job at the same time. getting out of bed and getting dressed and going to work is the absolute worst but being at work isn't so bad and then driving home is, again, the worst.  maybe i should try living closer to work or something.  hmmm.  work is pretty entertaining and when i decide i want to be in charge of something, they just let me be in charge.  which is unusual but it works out for me because i like pushing people around.

i was trying to use the internet to learn about greek mythology just now and mostly it was like hey here's old fashioned pictures of naked dudes.  i didn't learn anything about mythology because i was pretty distracted.

THERE IS A COMMERCIAL ON TV ABOUT PUPPY MILLS AND NOW I WANT TO DIE.

hey y'all you should watch bob's burgers.  it's a funny cartoon.  cartoons are awesome, amirite?

oh man, guys, i am so hydrated right now.  take that soda!

alright, i'm going to try to get back into the habit of updating this thing.  you're welcome.