gray day

feeling justified in anger is a bad spot to be. for me as soon as i feel that i am justified in being angry or in not liking someone i no longer have the desire to keep it in check. for example we have this server at work... she just... grates on my nerves. whenever she opens her mouth (which is all the time) i have the overwhelming urge to rip my head off just to make the sound stop entering my brain. at any rate for the first 4 months or so i would just smile and nod whenever she cornered me and the nails on chalkboard noises came out (aka speaking to me). but over the last couple months people will randomly come up to me and be like wow so and so is really annoying (that's what they say if they're being really nice and they're a mild person) and so now i'm like well no one else likes her so i don't have to try to be nice anymore either. and that's not good. i should try to be nice to people. instead we have conversations like this:

her: some lady called this morning, did she leave you a message?
me: i don't know.
her: well she wants to have a party. did she leave a message?
me: probably. ::i walk away as she is still talking::

what is so annoying about that conversation is some ladies call me all day long to plan parties. 'some lady' means nothing to me. i don't know what she thinks i do but when i walked into work that day i had 22 voicemails waiting. of which about 19 were some lady. all of whom were looking to have a party. that's why they call me. all of them. but that's besides the point. i should've have stood there and listened to her drone on about this woman who wants to plan a party and then been like 'ok well i'd better get to that message... i wouldn't want to keep some lady waiting.'

anyway my original point is that it's not ok to feel justified in anger. so i read the 5 dysfunctions of a team. my boss had asked me to read it, so i did. i think he asked me to read it so that i would be angry all the time. this book has cause me to feel justified in my anger towards our corporate office... because this book said to me "dear elaina you work for people who wouldn't know team work if it ran up and slapped them in the face. they are clown shoes." like i need to add justification to that fire. thanks a lot book. i think for christmas i will send copies of that book to the people at whq. ha.

i also think my boss was intentionally trying to get me to fly off the handle today. which is interesting seeing as how he's on vacation. he's not even in the state and he's trying to see if he can get me to yell at people. so anyway my whq boss sent out this thing with awards for people who made budget last month and we weren't on it, which i totally expected b/c no one cares what i do in sales since we're a new store, but i get this email from my boss saying why aren't you ever on his list, you always make budget. to which i responded with something along the lines of probably b/c we're new or maybe b/c that guys hates me. so my boss decides to email the whq boss and find out why. and i'm like dude i don't wan to be involved don't talk to me about those people you know how they make me angry. so my boss and my whq boss exchange a few emails the last of which my boss fwds to me with a "see below" and it's basically a one liner from the whq boss saying we don't really care what you guys do "ha ha". to which i responded ':) "no comment"' and my boss was like that was a nice comment. at which point i sent some sort of email to tune of tell him he's a wienie and that he can "haha that, sucka." that was actually the last line of the email 'haha that sucka.' my boss never responded. i think he was like 'finally the response i was looking for' and stopped checking his work email.

note to future elaina- when you read this blog entry some day this will crack you up: always remember that story today about grandmas telling people to dry off before getting out of the shower so that the ceiling doesn't collapse.

i was SOOOO close to buying a cap gun today at the store. i even text messaged dan to have him talk me out of it but he was just like no, do it. instead i bought alphabet magnets b/c i felt that i could justify them as edutainment. cap guns are just fun and not edutainment... though i could use it if i decide to be a cowboy in a stunt show some time. you never know.

warning to everyone who could possibly come within arm's distance of me soon: i've had the desire to hit people a lot lately. not hard or anything but my natural reaction instead of using words has been to just hit people. weird.

this just in: "should've" isn't a real world but "edutainment" is.

also, bears wake up during hibernation to go to the bathroom. so much for sleeping all winter.