yesterday's happenings

oh man

2012-02-11T04:17:00.000-05:00

this picture of my sisters and me at disneyland never fails to crack me up.

don't you think the price of sugar is high enough now?

2012-02-10T15:56:00.003-05:00

in the last day i've gotten some of the best dating insight. just in time for valentine's day!

"it's better to over laugh than under laugh... except when you're on a date." - jacob

i'm pretty sure finding a good laugh balance would be helpful for me. but i'm definitely not going to do it. people should just try being less funny, i guess.

and corey told me that when guys are talking about sports it's actually a metaphor for women and when they talk about women it's a metaphor for sports. i know this isn't true but it's going to make listening to guys talk about sports soooo much more entertaining.

i have my second interview and audition at disneyland on tuesday. fingers crossed, ladies and gentlemen.

so i'm planning to do the color run. go to thecolorrun.com for details. i'm planning to run it in so cal (irvine), seattle, portland and san fran. if you're near any of those places or would like to meet me in any of those places, please let me know. if i get a group of 4 together we get a discount on the entry fee. i believe i currently have 3 people (including myself) committed for each city... all i need is YOU!

shleeeepy

2012-02-05T01:12:00.003-05:00

hey, it smells like skunk. also i'm using my tiny laptop... which makes it impossible for typing but makes me look like a giant. you win some, you lose some. additionally, i'm up and running on skype again. leave me a message if you want to get connected on there and i'll give you a skype tour of where i live.

my muscles from my shoulders to calves are sore. the park near my house has workout equipment in it. like next to the slide there are weight machines. i've done them twice this week and now i want to die. which is awesome! soon i will be buff and it will be all that park's fault.

tonight i made meat pies for dinner. i used to do that all the time when i was younger. but i made them fancy tonight with red onion and basil and cheese. it's like old times but fancy.

i really need to learn how to roller skate. and how to fall without getting hurt. but before i do any of that i need to get health insurance. these are all facts.

music

2012-02-03T01:11:00.002-05:00

hey, so like, i totally know that the little music player on the side is super annoying but i love it b/c it's like a time capsule to the weird music i thought was awesome three years ago. b/c seriously i'm shocked by the randomness that pops up on there. it's like a musical tour of my own brain. so enjoy!

also, i've realized i use the word "also" a lot. you're welcome!

where everybody knows your name

2012-02-03T00:26:00.003-05:00

words words mumble mumble.

ok, so i've been watching a lot of 30 rock which always messes up my brain. it makes me start talking funny and convinces me that jokes about food are hilarious outside of the sitcom world (which they generally are not). anyway in the last couple days i've watched half of season 4, season 5 and the new episodes of season 6. i took a big break from 30 rock b/c when i was watching it on the reg it convinced me to dye my hair dark brown (which i did again anyway...) and made me think it was ok to eat entire boxes of ding dongs. i'm glad i've caught up but i'm pretty sure it's going to take a couple weeks to get through the aftermath.

also, does anyone have a giant picture of food i could hang on my wall? or maybe a 3d art sculpture of spaghetti? yeah, that's definitely what i actually want. wall mounted spaghetti.

what's the deal with dr who? everybody always talks about how awesome it is. some of my favorite things are space and time travel but whenever i watch i'm like dr who? i just don't get it. someone please help me like this show. i really want to be into it!

this dog who lives here looks like a tiny lucky dragon and cries all the time. it's pretty much the most depressing thing ever. i'm like, dog stop crying and lay by the fireplace. also try not to snore anymore.

i want to start this next paragraph by saying i love my guy friends... my dude pals... my brocimusmaximuses. and i want to end it by saying why do i never talk to girls anymore?!?

i feel like i go through phases where i only ever talk to dudes. and that's awesome. but then i sometimes want to talk about dudes and then i'm like oh dang i don't have any female friends, whaaa happened? and it's not that i don't have female friends... i do! but they seem to not stay up late at night. also the time difference between california and the east coast ruins everything. also, why doesn't anyone in california want to eat ice cream with me?!? and by "anyone in california" i mean you, mom!

i began my new job today. i don't have very many words about my place of employment that i can say here in case it turns out a million people secretly read this. the end.

btw, DANIEL LU I MISS YOU. i really wish i could remember how you make a haiku b/c it seems like that is probably a good start to one. internets...

hey there daniel lu
little dan where you at, bro
this sucks i miss you

dang. i really hope little dan reads this. b/c that was awesome.

someone send help. i'm clearly not getting enough social interaction and i've had the cheers theme song stuck in my head for DAYS.

Desiderata

2012-01-29T23:15:00.001-05:00

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and
lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you
to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit
to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be
gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the
trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it
is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

-- Max Ehrmann

the seaweed is always greener

2012-01-29T21:36:00.005-05:00

i'm in california now. in the last month i have visited 17 states. here they are:

virginia
north carolina
south carolina
georgia
florida
hawaii
maryland
new jersey
new york
tennessee
arkansas
texas
new mexico
arizona
utah
nevada
california

that's a lot of states in a month.

i was offered a sales manager job at a hotel here in california. but i turned it down. why? because i do what i want. tomorrow morning i have an interview at disneyland. fingers crossed, all will go well and i will get a job there.

there are like a million trillion things going on. yikes. but there is only one important thing you need to see:

mermaid. no big deal. also, i submitted my resume for a volunteer position with the international quidditch association to be on the membership committee. fingers crossed, once again.

ok, where is there some pizza in this joint?

12 for 2012

2011-12-25T21:47:00.002-05:00

keeping with tradition, here is my list of 12 things to do in 2012:

1. ride in a sidecar
2. take a cooking lesson
3. do a science experiment
4. grow a plant from a seed
5. go hiking
6. learn to make 12 new dishes
7. go dancing
8. have a bon fire
9. climb a tree
10. enter a contest
11. go some place i've never been
12. go to a fancy dinner by myself

yay it's done! uhmm, if you know of anyone with a side car, let me know!

2011 in Review

2011-12-25T21:18:00.004-05:00

ok i'm going to try to do this from memory so we will just hit the ultimate high lights, i guess.

january
new year's day i was in hawaii with the family for a week. that was pretty much amazing. i moved in with april. i had auditions for comedy sportz. and on my birthday i saw a child fall from the second floor of the macy's. it was traumatic.

february
found out i got into comedy sportz. i don't recall anything else exciting happening.

march
sometime about here i went to hershey! they do this really funny tour / ride with singing cows and then a gift shop with all the candy you could imagine. i got a lot of chocolate and was happy.

april
florida road trip! of doom. we got to north carolina and the radiator in my car cracked. after lots of stress and money the car was running again and we made it to orlando for a couple days of fun times. in april comedy sportz opened. after this point most of my weekends involved me being at the theater.

may
after nearly six years of employment with dave & buster's, i started a new job at the aloft hotel. it was a lot of learning during may. so much information. also, the engine on the forenza died and i said good bye to my friend-za. and i bought the honda fit. oh, how i love thee, honda fit.

june
this month was a lot of working and a lot of comedy sportzing. oye.

july
tournament!! that's right july was comedy sportz tournament! once a year comedy sportz players from around the global join together for a week of classes and shows and shenanigans. it was pretty much amazing. this year was in indy.

august
we had a hurricane! and an earthquake! all while i was house sitting. it was exciting. and by exciting i mean it just made life difficult and made me thankful for electricity. i got an iphone!

september
asia fysh came to visit! this also led to me meeting biff from back to the future. so, yeah my life is amazing. we went to a baseball game in dc. we went to a party. pretty much it was awesome. any time asia fysh comes around things are amazing. hobo baby was born! yay!

october
oh october. october happened. at the beginning of the month i went on a business trip to stamford, ct. this involved me flying to new york and then hiring a cab to ct. sadly, my wallet was stolen at the airport in richmond but i didn't realize it until i was in new york. with no money. and no id. it was absurd but i got through it. a week later i went to ca to visit. while i was there my uncle had a stroke and passed away within the next week. i wound up being in ca for a little over two weeks.

november
this was a month of decisions. i decided it was time to move to ca and i started making preparations for that. spent time with diane's family... thanksgiving and also the zombie walk! went black friday shopping and got pajamas from old navy!

december
spent a lot of time packing and getting rid of belongings to get ready for the move. comedy sportz had the first annual improv festivus. it was fabulous. went to florida for christmas and had an absolute blast. my last day at work will be 12/30 and then it's off to ca!

merry merry!

2011-12-25T21:10:00.003-05:00

merry merry from the hog's head! i had a fabulous time in florida for christmas! i spent a lot of time in the car. saw the mermaids (which were amazing), spent time with harry potter and hung out in my hotel room. also i learned for stinking awesome red box is. way to go red box! moral of the story... florida trip for the win.

Movin' on Up

2011-12-17T16:30:00.002-05:00

as i'm sure you all know i will be soon be moving to ca. i would like to now give you my travel schedule if you would like to try to catch a glimpse of me as i pass through your town. actually, to impress you further with my current traveling situation i will tell you all my upcoming travels.

12/23 - jacksonville, fl
12/24-25 - orlando fl
12/26 - weeki wachee, fl and then back to richmond
1/1-9 - hawaii
1/9-11 - new york city
1/13 - richmond to nashville (it took my 3 tries to not type nachoville)
1/14 - dallas
1/15 - roswell
1/16-17 - phoenix
1/18 - grand canyon
1/19-21 (or 22) salt lake city (weather permitting)
1/22 (or 23 or maybe 18 if weather is crazy) california

hopefully i will see you on my cross country tour. srsly. send me a message and we will do lunch.

some videos

2011-12-05T23:08:00.001-05:00

watch these videos. you will be glad you did. the last two are about me. ha.

#200

2011-12-05T00:22:00.003-05:00

happy 200th post to me! to keep with tradition, 200 things i love, in no particular order:

1. daffodils
2. family time
3. chocolate
4. friends
5. harry potter
6. hiking
7. good hair days
8. playing battleship
9. dancing
10. mittens
11. hugs
12. unexpected conversations
13. when someone says to me "i knew you were going to say that"
14. cotton candy
15. state fairs
16. disneyland
17. toddlers
18. comedy sportz
19. singing loudly
20. ghost adventures
21. the beach
22. vacationing
23. new friends
24. the beginning of a relationship
25. hot chocolate
26. working hard
27. running
28. people who have an easy laugh
29. traveling
30. swap meets
31. comfortable shoes
32. receiving mail
33. road trips
34. finding cash
35. failing and moving on
36. the hunger games
37. outer space
38. time travel
39. dinosaurs
40. banana pudding
41. indian food
42. eyebrows
43. men with beards
44. home made rice krispy treats
45. cheese
46. jay walking
47. when someone thinks i'm funny
48. cooking things over open flames
49. camping
50. snow (in small quantities)
51. puppies
52. scrabble
53. sleeping in late
54. museums
55. tree houses
56. puns
57. pictures from a long time ago
58. red lipstick
59. lobster
60. bouquets of flowers
61. farmers markets
62. painting
63. play doh
64. wax bottle candy
65. jump rope
66. the james river
67. when trees make a canopy over the road
68. ice cream
69. jeans that make me feel awesome
70. new socks
71. rolling the windows down in the car
72. ocean air
73. reading on the beach
74. koalas
75. real good high fives
76. toasting
77. when people tell me i should write a book about my life
78. people who can juggle
79. really good, dumb jokes
80. butterbeer
81. watching people do cartwheels
82. the circus
83. hockey
84. breakfast food
85. kissing
86. playing on a playground with no kids around
87. trampolines
88. jazz
89. a prairie home companion
90. when someone finds something totally random and says i'm the only person who would appreciate it
91. magic tricks
92. riding a bike
93. when someone tells me i'm smart
94. finishing a book
95. when someone i adore adds me as a friend on facebook
96. playing tag
97. the 4th of july
98. public transportation
99. long walks
100. winning a contest
101. coloring
102. tuna
103. palm trees
104. new york
105. seeing famous people
106. bbq
107. playing made up games
108. going out of town on a whim
109. mermaids
110. tapioca
111. the pacific northwest
112. improvising
113. blanket forts
114. going to historical sites
115. touring factories
116. ginger cakes
117. williamsburg
118. presents that are gift wrapped
119. when people stop by my work to say hi
120. grilled cheese
121. avocado
122. scented markers
123. winking
124. small dogs
125. pushing a stroller
126. yoga
127. laughing
128. vanilla
129. laughing until i cry
130. when people email me a funny video
131. when someone i think is cool acts more awkward than me
132. not being able to stop talking when i'm uncomfortable
133. tap dancing
134. picnics
135. waterfalls
136. rainbows
137. harry potter world
138. pretending
139. pedicures
140. manicures
141. boba
142. Holi
143. kheer
144. creme brulee
145. freshly washed linens
146. new pillows
147. thinking about someone and then seeing them
148. saying the same thing at the same time as someone else
149. mcgriddles
150. new car scent
151. swing dancing
152. blue skies with fluffy white clouds
153. remembering my dreams
154. broadway muscials
155. mary poppins
156. moving
157. staying up late
158. eggnog
159. people who do good jimmy stewart impersonations
160. remembering the capital of a state
161. hats
162. crazy straws
163. funny voices
164. coke zero
165. model trains
166. people who have hobbies
167. pizza
168. baseball
169. yoyos
170. new year's eve
171. stand up comedians who are funny without being nasty
172. learning something unexpected about someone
173. my snowglobe collection
174. stickers
175. high heels
176. swim suits
177. staying in a hotel
178. becoming friends with someone i originally didn't like
179. costco sample time
180. when the time is 1:23
181. when people think they recognize me from some where
182. making people laugh
183. soft hair
184. change
185. people who smell wonderful
186. my hand writing
187. milkshakes
188. family run restaurants
189. orange juice
190. small children who are funny
191. small children dressed like adults
192. cash cab
193. cracking my knuckles
194. being not the tallest person
195. people with accents
196. weddings
197. going to the movies alone
198. going to the movies with a boy
199. fairies
200. stupid contests

that was surprisingly much easier than i expected!

california knows how to party

2011-11-26T20:30:00.002-05:00

you may have or may not have heard by now, i'm moving back to california. and with a swiftness. i'll be back by the end of january. i'm moving back to pursue a career in acting.

joking.

it's a long story but the version you get is... it's time.

i'm excited for the move for many reasons (i love change, i miss my family, jack in the box) but as i get ready to move there are lots of unexpected reasons to be excited for the move... like my mom has a sewing machine so i can repair all my favorite clothes that i have broken over the last 5 years.

when i get back to california, i'm going to have some extra time (i don't have a job lined up yet, comedy sportz or a group of childless friends who will keep me busy) so I want to get back into some hobbies that i have let fall to the side. new places are a great time to get into new routines. so the old hobbies that i'm going to get back into:
running
painting
tap dancing
going to museums
listening to jazz
reading

i also had a dream that i was cast in a community theater production of neil simon's fools. so maybe i will look into making that happen. i would love trying some non-improv theater again. those hobbies kind of make me sound like i'm 70 years old and boring. but i'm not. for real.

i am going to miss virginia. i live in an incredible city. if someone was to ask me if they should move here i would not hesitate to endorse this area. it's awesome, y'all! but i am who i am and i was born with gypsy blood and it's time for a new town. or an old town that's new again.

the end.

things that actually help

2011-10-11T19:54:00.003-04:00

i saw this on the internet. and it really ticked me off. i really hope she is doing more with her inheritance than just holding a sign saying she should be taxed. for example, she could set up an after school program that offers free or low cost tutoring to kids. or she could run a technology center that teaches computer skills to older workers. or she could offer workshops in her community teaching interview skills and resume writing.

if i had been given a ton of money i would put together a work for food program for the homeless in richmond. like this.

we need to start by strengthening our communities. make a difference in your sphere of influence. or if you really feel like you should be taxed more... the government takes cash, check and all major credit cards.

who knows, maybe she does things besides hold up signs. i sure hope she does.

all in a day

2011-10-04T01:28:00.002-04:00

my small amounts of knowledge about everything comes in handy. also the fact that i know a million people. and i'm charming and people generally like me. and my ability to roll with the punches and not get upset. all these things are helpful. when you get robbed.

yes. robbed.

so i'm in ct. but i started today in va. when i got on the little plane they took my carry on bags in a service they called "valet" or as i call it "when they steal your wallet."

anyway, i got to ny and was getting ready to hire a cab to take me to the train station when i realized my wallet was gone. with my id, debit card, checkbook and social security card. which left me stuck in white plains with no way of getting to stamford, ct.

the lady at the us airways counter kindly informed me that i should have known better and that it was my fault as i filed a report for my "lost" wallet. i then filed a police report. i called the bank and found out the the person had tried to use the card twice, unsuccessfully.

the hotel sent a car for me. so after three hours of sitting in the airport a nice, roomy, black, lincoln town car arrived. it costs $72 to ride in that car from the airport to the hotel. luckily i don't have any money so i didn't have to pay for it. the man who drives the car wanted to take me to dinner and it took a long time to talk my way out of that. i didn't feel like getting kidnapped in addition to being robbed.

i got room service when i finally got to my room and it was fabulous. especially since the only thing i had eaten was a slice of banana bread early this morning and it was after 8 by the time i got to my room.

anywho, i will be missing the first part of training tomorrow as i attempt to sort out the remainder of the havoc caused by the wallet being gone.

i didn't even cry, by the way. i'm like the world's best person for stressful situations. my plan for flying back is to not let them take my bags by yelling loudly "US AIRWAYS EMPLOYEES ARE THIEVES!!! DON'T TOUCH ME! SEXUAL HARASSMENT!!!" until they just let me take my bags with me. in my daydream this ends with me being tackled by the police officer who filed my police report today.

the end.

cream cheese

2011-09-30T00:09:00.003-04:00

disclaimer: this post says "asshole" a lot. so don't let any five year olds read it. do five year olds know how to read? meh.

i think maybe i just hate people lately. b/c everyone annoys me. here is a list of things i find annoying about people:

1. people who are assholes.
2. when girls tell me the junk food they ate and how much of a bad person it makes them.
3. when people think they deserve things they haven't earned.
4. people who think being a medium sized fish in a small pond makes them awesome when really it just makes them an asshole.
and finally
5. people who talk crap about other people

so pretty much what i'm saying is lady friends, i don't want to hear about your diets anymore, i need a break. and improvisers, stop being assholes, i also need a break from that.

the good news: teen wolf is on and i just heard this bit of wisdom:

Coach Finstock: There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

now that's a lot of colons.

new girl

2011-09-27T20:59:00.004-04:00

so i watched this and i decided i would answer the questions too... b/c i'm just as adorable as her! it's too bad i don't have a video maker thing.

#10 do i have an hidden talent? i'm really good at navigating public transportation.

#9 favorite food? pizza, duh!

#8 least favorite food? mashed potatoes.

#7 biggest fear? facial disfigurement.

#6 my hero growing up? barbie.

#5 favorite thing to do for fun? sit in the grass and eat ice cream.

#4 favorite tv show? ghost adventures.

#3 if i wasn't an actor... well, i'm not. but my dream job is to be a skipper on the jungle cruise at disneyland. or a princess. i do a really good princess voice. and then i would be on saturday night live.

#2 place i'm dying to visit? ok, philly, locally. and then london. and ireland. and india.

#1 what one thing can i not live without? chapstick.

wooopwooooooop

2011-09-26T19:25:00.002-04:00

if you didn't know by now... i'm special. friday night we performed in the downtown raleigh improv festival. it was a lot of fun and we did a good show. about half an hour before we were going to start the show we were all sitting in the back eating dinner. i had a bottle of coke that i was drinking. i go to open it and it sprayed everywhere. i have never seen a soda spray like that. it was like someone dropped a mentos in. i was covered in coke from my shoulders to my knees. dave swears he saw me almost drop it and then catch it right before i opened it. i really don't remember that happening. but that's life... some days you're covered in coke. all in a day.

in other news improv makes strangers love me. the man who owns the pho shop saw a show and now i can never go to the pho shop ever again. i've realized i can never be an actual famous person... b/c i don't enjoy having strangers come up and talk to me when i'm out.

i'm macerating some strawberries right now.

next week i will be in ct for training. i'm hoping everything goes ok. i'm also hoping i will get to go into nyc for dinner one night. a few days after i get back from ct, i'm going to ca. i'm really excited to visit. and to go to mickey's halloween party. mickey mouse. mickey mouse is my friend. the end.

lists

2011-09-20T11:00:00.003-04:00

things i don't like:
*when people say someone is a character
*when a lady says she is sick and someone says 'maybe you're pregnant'
*mashed potatoes

things i like:
*disneyland
*old goofy movies
*gingerbread

things i'm neutral about:
*flipflops
*apple juice
*going to movie theaters

did you hear that?!? shhshhhshhh!

2011-09-16T22:08:00.003-04:00

i'm willing to admit it. i'm addicted to ghost hunter shows. it started with ghost adventures. i started watching it b/c the guys were hilarious and goofy and i'm into that. they *never* actually find anything that is even some what impressive. if anything the show just proves that people don't actually see ghosts.

and then i saw ghost hunters.

have you guys seen this show? they get ghosts to turn flash lights on and off. and they record it. usually on these shows they're like 'man i wish we had the cameras rolling...' but on ghost hunters they will be like 'hey ghost, turn on this torch' and BAM light on.

is no one else concerned? and obsessed?

at any rate i'm totally dead to the world whenever one of these shows comes on. and luckily it's fall, the scariest season of all, so these shows are on a lot. the wife of one of my co-worker's goes on ghost hunts in real life. my co-worker has gone a couple times and said it's really boring. i'm glad it's boring and hopefully that will stop me from ever actually going on one.

besides i'm totally afraid of everything. especially the dark. speaking of which, i saw dont be afraid of the dark last night. that movie was so scary that a couple times i thought was going to throw up. did you catch that? i was so scared i almost puked. i had to keep telling myself 'it's just a movie, keep breathing.' and that's really why i should never try to go on a ghost hunt expedition adventure of doom.

i get my eyebrows threaded. if you currently get your brow's waxed i suggest trying threading. my eyebrows look so much better when they're threaded.

i bought my plane tickets today. i will be in california for 10 days and i'm super excited. it's going to be amazing.

also hobo baby was born a couple days ago. she looks adorable and chubby. i'm excited to meet her!

she bangs, she bangs

2011-09-13T11:34:00.003-04:00

so i woke up this morning with the clap o'meter song stuck in my head. i think i've only heard it once and the words are just "here comes the clap o'meter" over and over. and because of this i think i can plead insanity for what happened this morning.

you know how sometimes you think to yourself 'this is a bad idea... but i'm going to do it anyway' and then you realize you are holding a fist full of your hair that is no longer attached to your head in one hand and scissors in the other hand?

yes, me too.

so i cut my bangs this morning. it was a bad decision. i mostly was hoping that it would just turn out ok by some sort of miracle. i did it in one big slice. i've never in my life cut hair before. unless you count that time when i was 6 and i was mad at my sister and i cut a chunk out of the middle of her bangs. i don't count that. she probably does, though. at any rate my entire head is pretty much a disaster now. i'm thinking i should buy a box of brown hair dye tonight... and then maybe no one will notice the crazy cut. *if anyone reads this soon, please stop me on the hair dye idea*

i'm coming to california in about a month. hopefully all my hair grows back by then. speaking of california, should i rent a car while i'm there? do people in california still use cars? it's been so long!

the good news is that it is likely that cutting my own bangs is probably the dumbest decision i'm going to make today. probably. *if you would like to help me make more dumb decisions today, i'm game.*

roads? where we're going, we don't need roads!

2011-09-12T19:58:00.004-04:00

so i met biff from back to the future aka tom wilson. biff of the 80s and i totally would have made an adorable couple, as you can tell from this picture. and he was hilarious. here is a clip of one of the songs he does. you will enjoy it.

i'm going to be making a trip out to ca soon-ish. i'm coming out for a week in october and i'm *super* excited. hobo baby should be arriving any day now so i will get to see her and hopefully everyone else, as well.

ok that is all.

he's a fighter!

2011-09-06T13:27:00.002-04:00

so no updates have happened in a while. i know, i'm sorry. i've been... busy. there's the new job that is not really new anymore, the earthquake, the hurricane, the improv, the relationship that came and went, shaking hands with biff from back to the future, dance mom marathons, visits from asia and so on and so forth. there are babies to be had and parades to plan and festivals to attend and tap lessons to take. and also the general feeling that everything and nothing are happening at the same time.

anyway, that's my reasoning... take it or leave it.

i left my apartment this morning and the weather was making it quite clear that summer ended yesterday. today has been gray. it's raining and just cold enough to make me realize i should have worn a jacket or a sweater or some sort of leg covering. the entire thing is odd to me b/c i think it was sunny yesterday. though, honestly, i can't remember.

i don't know what the world has against my hair. you see, for the last few years I can't get a normal haircut. i've tried all sorts of places with varying price points and skill levels and with and without referrals and i can't manage to find a person who can just cut my hair in any sort of normal fashion. the problem i always have is that they never seem to make the two sides of my head match. one side will be perfectly fine and the other side is just a totally different haircut.

this last lady gave me side swept bangs (like i wanted) on one side and bangs cut blunt at my eyebrow on the other side. she gave me long layers (like i wanted) on one side and then just kind of cut random chunks from where ever on the other side. so i have weird bangs with nice layers on the left and nice side swept bangs with weed whacker layers on the right. my solution has been to just wear my hair curly all the time and pretend like it didn't happen.

in all reality, i'm very aware that my hair troubles aren't nearly as bad as they could be as far as hair trouble or any other sort of trouble is concerned.

halloween. i'm really looking forward to it this year. because i love to dress up. i'm going to be a zombie again this year. but not just any zombie. and not a cowboy zombie... again (though i did enjoy wearing that moustache). i'm going to be marilyn monroe zombie. i'm really excited about the makeup. i love zombie makeup. and i love saying 'braaaAAAAAIIIiiinnns!'

hey, have i mentioned lately that i love trader joe's? b/c i do!

TWO WEEKS UNTIL THE FIRST CAPITALS PRESEASON GAME. so, ya know, no big deal or anything.

*note: i know there are a lot of random-y things that have been mentioned briefly. please just email me if you want further clarification on anything. you know how i do.*

call it macaroni

2011-08-06T14:49:00.004-04:00

i'm spending the afternoon hydrating in an attempt to avoid a recreation of last night. i haven't been drinking enough water so i spent the second half of last night's show trying not to, uhhm, toss my cookies. not fun.

hey so this new feather in the hair thing, that's awesome. i think i will probably wait like 5 years until it's not cool anymore and then i will get one.

oooh dance moms marathon starting now. i guess that's the end of this update.

whales and dolphins live in the ocean

2011-08-03T10:41:00.003-04:00

ok, i wanted to write down this dream i had before i forgot it. you know how sometimes you have a dream that is so vivid that when you wake up you're confused about where you are? that's what happened to me.

so in my dream i was at the beach. i was on this sandy part and on either side was the ocean. there was a bridge / boardwalk type thing built across the sand. it was 10 pm and it was still light out and i thought that was odd but then someone told me it was because we were so far north. except we were in florida but that didn't matter to me, i accepted the fact that in northern florida it stays light later. i called my sister b/c i wanted to show her that it was still light out on my phone but she was like uhmm you called my house line i can't see where you are. so i hung up.

anyway i look to the ocean on my right and i see this uhmm herd of dolphins jumping out of the water and i'm like hey everybody look at this, except at the same time on the other side of the water there are killer whales doing the samething. so i'm like hey lets all stand on this bridge. and the dolphins and whales each start doing tricks like they would at seaworld.

and i was like oh my gosh they're having a dance off just like in west side story! it's like they're the jets and the sharks except they are dolphins and whales.

and then they start coming up on shore. like you know how at seaworld they come up and lay on the side? except we were at the beach so that's dangerous. and when they they came out of the water they weren't dolphins and killer whales... they were HUMPBACK WHALES. which are surprisingly smaller than i would have expected. because humpback whales are HUGE or so i've heard but in my dream they were between the size of a killer whale and a dolphin.

so anyway, people were running up to the side of the bridge to pet them and i was like STOP you will kill them because if they smell like you their moms won't take them back. and hey they might eat you or smash you with their giant tales, which are getting larger by the moment.

and then i left and i was talking to someone about how crazy it was that animals were doing those tricks in the wild and the person was like yeah well they just use their natural behaviors to train them at seaworld. and i was like oh yeah their natural behavior is to jump out of the water and spin? get out of my face!

and then i woke up and i was confused as to why i wasn't at the beach.

the end.

boots and pants

2011-07-28T00:21:00.003-04:00

mb is moving to dc so the ladies (mb, jenny and i) went to galaxy diner. that's my dinner from tonight. an omelette with hashbrowns and a biscuit and a chocolate malt. it was the absolute best way to wrap up the evening after comedy sportz practice. hanging with the ladies, eating delicious rva classics and beatboxing.

that's right, beatboxing. while i was at tournament i decided that it was my new goal to learn to beatbox. i've been asking around for help and it turns out that mb is a really good beatboxer. i was super impressed.

i've been practicing for a couple hours and right now i can mostly just spit on everything and get light headed and start dry heaving. i'm not sure people can rap to that, but hey it's a start.

it's hard to be a lady beatboxer. i don't know what it is, but it seems like us ladies aren't really taught how to make weird noises as children. and we really aren't taught how to make weird noises loudly. but i don't care. i don't care about any of it. i'm going to be the best lady beatboxer there ever was or ever will be. when i die my tombstone will say 'here lies elaina, lady beatboxer extraordinaire, boooobooooo keeer cheeer boooboooo keeer cheeeer.'

boys, auditions and a pep talk!

2011-07-26T18:48:00.004-04:00

do the dude is back. i'm pretty sure the dude is just around in my life to make sure i maintain a consistent level of neurotic behavior. it's quite charming, i'm sure. anyway, the dude popped back up last week as i was driving to my audition.

the interaction didn't go as he planned, i'm sure b/c i was taken by surprise by his arrival and claims of best friend-dom.

anyway today i asked him f he wanted to get together some time this week and he said yes. i said when are you free? and... no response. and he wonders why i act crazy when he is around.

in other news the audition went really well. we were all in tears with the laughing and they are definitely interested in me performing in their october show. i will start working with a producer soon to put my piece together. i'm super excited.

a girl like me shouldn't let herself be driven crazy. especially not now that your jaw line stress acne is starting to clear up! pull it together woman!

donuts make me go nuts

2011-07-26T18:35:00.002-04:00

so a week or so ago i told jimothy i would take him to my favorite donut store. you see, the donuts in virginia aren't like the donuts in california. in california you have cute little mom & pop donut shops on every corner. here, you have krispy kreme and dunkin donuts. the end. it's awful. the donut situation is a real let down, except for...

country style donuts.

this place is amazing. so after months and months of us talking about it, i finally scheduled a time in my blackberry to get donuts with him. it literally said in my blackberry 'donuts with jimothy.' i'm really hoping my boss didn't happen to look at my calendar for the that evening. anyway we make the half hour drive out to the donut store and...

it's closed.

why?

because it's closed every monday. did i know that? YES. this was the third or fourth time that i had driven the half hour to this donut store to arrive and realize BAH it's monday and they are closed.

we were both really sad and decided to stop at dunkin donuts on the way home in hopes that it would be just as good.

we get out donuts, head to his house and settle in and start watching mystery science theater 3000. i grab a donut (i think it was maple) and take a bite. and then i started crying.

i was actually crying tears of sadness. the donut tasted like what i can only describe as despair. the donut was despair flavored, people... you would have cried too.

anyway, today i was working at a hotel by the airport that is about 3 miles from the donut shop... i double checked my brain to ask whether or not today was monday and it turns out... today isn't! i got inside the donut shop and got roped into a half hour long conversation about the economy and how terrible children are and social security with two old guys. eventually i was able to get the donuts and get out.

i'm meeting jimothy for dinner. i'm planning to bring the donuts. i'm going to tell the waiter it's jimothy's birthday and those are his birthday dessert. b/c i'm a liar and i want to be able to eat the donuts some place that isn't a parking lot.

and hopefully tonight i will be crying tears of joy.

we wear nice shoes

2011-07-25T16:48:00.010-04:00

this past week was comedy sportz tournament.
it was a fun experience. a lot of learning and playing and just generally running amuck.

i learned a lot about myself and about improv. i also have come to terms with the fact every picture ever taken of me performing will have me making a funny face. because i stand around making funny faces.
and i'm ok with that.
clearly.

silly willy nilly old bear

2011-07-17T00:50:00.003-04:00

ooooook. i saw winnie the pooh this morning. super cute. buuuuuuuut more importantly, i saw the preview for the muppets movie.

CAN

NOT

WAIT

look up the trailer on youtube when you have a chance. it makes me so happy whenever i see it! i just want to bounce up and down.

the little movie before winnie the pooh was super cute. it was about the lochness monster and how it's ok to cry b/c sometimes you figure things out when you cry. such a cute little cartoon.

woo girl

2011-07-17T00:24:00.003-04:00

the other day my boss went to refer to me as "the new girl" but by mistake said "the crazy girl" instead. that cracked me up. she was like oh wow, i'm really sorry. whatevs. they really like me there, so that's good. on friday my boss decided that we're going to go on a roadtrip to florida some time soon. so she may think i'm crazy but she must also think i'm awesome. i can accept that.

i pick up random manerisms all the time. the latest is shrugging to my own thoughts. i'm trying to get me to stop doing it. but that seems to only make it worse. i'm wondering where i picked that up. hmph.

man, i'm super obsessed with the show ghost adventures right now. i love it b/c a few nights a week they play it for like 4 hours in the middle of the night. so it's awesome b/c i get to see it regularly. but even better than that is zak bagans. ok so zak is a good looking fellow. not exactly my type (he's lacking in the facial hair department) but he's still a handsome fellow. but the best thing is his reactions. he's always like look at the hair on my arms! or feeling energy going through himself. i don't know... it's just hilarious. if you haven't seen that show, please check it out.

i hate the commercial for the perfect meatloaf pan. gross. why do we need meat in a loaf? why do we have to cover it in ketchup? why can ketchup also be spelled catsup? i just don't get it.

i was watching an interview with anthony bourdain (LOVE him, beeteedub) and he was talking about how americans eat too much crap ground meat. i agree but i also love cheeseburgers. that's life.

anywho, tomorrow is my audition / screening for the mortified project. I feel kind of like this isn't the greatest decision but this is the second time i've signed up so i need to just do it. the mortified project does dramatic readings of things you created when you were under the age of 21. i have my journals from my high school theater class that i'm going to do readings from. i don't know why i get myself into these things.

comedy sportz is going well. hey did you know that pterodactyl is spelled like that? b/c i didn't. that the silent p? tuesday we go to tournament. looking forward to it.

i'm pretty upset that rebecca black took friday off youtube. it mostly makes me angry b/c that song has been stuck in my head for about a week and i can't listen to her sing it. what a let down.

2011-07-09T19:13:00.002-04:00

hmmm.

2011-07-04T20:57:00.002-04:00

whenever i try to do a southern accent i sound like foghorn leghorn. it's so weird. if anyone wants to help me with that ::imagine a southern accent aka foghorn leghorn speaking:: i would be much obliged.

so i just decided that my favorite episode of the twilight zone is kick the can. some of my favorite quotes:

Maybe the Fountain of Youth isn't a fountain at all. Maybe it's a way of looking at things. A way of thinking.

There is magic in the world, I know there is. When I fell in love with Mary, kissed her for the first time, that was magic. When my boy was born, that was magic. Friendship is a magic thing. Maybe I'm right, Ben. Maybe Kick the Can is the greatest magic of all.

Ben, you're afraid. You're afraid of a new idea. You're afraid to look silly. You're afraid to make a mistake. You decided that you were an old man and that has made you old.

Charles: You believed in magic then...
Ben: Me? Magic?
Charles: Yes you did. When we walked on different sides of a street lamp you'd say "bread and butter" and when your baby teeth came out, you'd put them under the pillow for the tooth fairy. Yeah, you believed in magic. What happened, Ben?

too much!

2011-07-04T12:26:00.003-04:00

i'll be the first to tell you i'm not a very patient person. i'm not particularly fond of animals or children or people who annoy me. not that anyone enjoys people who annoy them... but i have a very low threshold for tolerance.

the thing that drives me nuts lately has to do with the fit, my new car. i've never owned a hatchback before. i never realized how close people pull up behind me. especially dudes in trucks. anyway, before i had the trunk space to prevent people from pulling their car into the back seat of my car. now i have nothing.

if i look in my rearview mirror and the only thing i can see is the grill of your car... YOU ARE WAY TOO CLOSE.

i was super tempted to get out of my car and punch the guy behind me today. 'hey bud, don't you know this is a new car? get your ugly truck away from it before i rip your headlights out!'

definite shortage of patience lately.

last night i went to get some breakfast in the middle of the night. because that's how i do. i was driving jimothy home when some random car decided to run a light and pull out right in front of me. i slammed on the breaks and didn't run them over. a normal person would shout out some expletive but as we all know, that's not my style. instead i say to jimothy 'it's a good thing i just had eggs!' i'm still not totally sure what that means. i'm sure there was some chain reaction in my mind that made that pop out of my mouth but i can't remember what it was.

i'm watching the twilight zone. man, i love this show. it's even better than ghost adventures (which is like my all time favorite show to watch in the middle of the night). i really wish someone would just go about making the exact episodes of the twilight zone again exactly like they are but let me be in it. that seems like a good plan.

anyway, it's the fourth of july. and i was born in this country. just like springsteen. so, happy 4th of july!

why would anyone ever need TWO slice-o-matics? i can see needing one, but two? do you need to double fist slicing vegetables? how many sliced onions do you need? are you having some sort of crazy bbq where everyone demands mounds and mounds of sliced vegetables? because maybe you should get some less pushy friends.

so i'm watching this twilight zone marathon, right? and they keep coming up with crazy euphamisms and ways to get around saying drunk. it's pretty funny.

this episode is about a couple who was driving home from a party and when they woke up they were in a city that was like a movie set. the lady thought that maybe they had died and had gone to hell. just then they hear a train and the man says "did you ever hear of a railroad in hell?" that cracked me up... because why wouldn't they have a train in hell? the lady looks a lot like amy poehler.

WAIT

did amy poehler steal my idea about remaking the twilight zone?!?

"and the moral of the story is: if you drink don't drive. and if your wife has had a couple don't let her drive either." thanks twilight zone!

itchy

2011-06-19T19:04:00.003-04:00

fun weekend trip to north carolina. i went down on friday night for anne's birthday. so much fun. we played croquet and human chess and we ate delicious alice in wonderland themed foods. at the party a bunch of mosquitoes showed up. and now i have over 30 bites.

saturday we mostly lounged around the house and then we got lunch at carrburrito. best lunch ever. the shredded beef was amazing. i really want to go back there. right. now.

after that i took anne to the airport and then i went to a hotel in raleigh where i had a hotel party. it was a good time with pizza and such.

this morning i went to the north carolina state farmers market. it was really busy and i didn't tay super long b/c i was starving. then i went to the museum of art. some high lights were the giant mosiac of the mona lisa made out of spools of thread, seeing a few new rodin pieces (favorites: the kiss and danaid) and my incredible ability to recognize paintings of california landscapes from across a room. then i had brunch at the museum... crab cake benedict. so good.

after that i decided to drive home. about half way i stopped to get some gasoline. i went inside to get some snacks and when i came back outside there was a dog there. who managed to get himself into my car. and then refused to get out. after a few minutes of me telling the dog that he couldn't com with me and asking him to please exit the vehicle the gas station owner came out and got his dog.

anyway, now i'm back. YAY!

beeeee beeee boop

2011-05-28T00:34:00.003-04:00

we have this company out here in virginia called relayfoods.com. they did a groupon and through some awesome planning i got $50 worth of groceries for $10. basically how this company works is you order your food online, they provide items from local farms and bakers and such and then you meet a truck in a parking lot and they give you the goods. i just made pork chops, sauerkraut and sausage from the food i got today. it turned out delicious. i'm totally letting the food take the credit for dinner being delicious b/c i've never made pork chops before and it's after midnight... so it totally wasn't me.

i've been watching 500 days of summer obsessively. if you haven't seen it, do that right now. i saw this movie for the first time a few months back and it convinced me to get bangs cut into my hair. i would usually watch it every couple weeks. but right now i'm watching it at least once a day. it's a good get you over heart break movie. once i stop feeling like i need to watch this every day then i will know i'm better.

yesterday i pulled out my old high school drama notebooks and read an entire year's worth of journaling. i started b/c i was feeling very sad but after a few pages i realized that it was hilarious. and then i pulled up getmortified.com and submitted for an audition with the dc chapter. so that i can read these journals on stage for other people's enjoyment. i was telling someone about this tonight and they were like why would you want to do that?! but really it was 10 years ago. i don't think it matters. it's just funny at this point.

the new job is going well. i've started settling in. actually i moved my stuff into my office today. i also got some chalkboard paint and turned one of my walls into a chalkboard. really at this point it just looks like i painted the wall black. one of my coworkers walked by and i was like uhhm what made you pick black? i'm sure they all think i'm out of my mind but what's new, eh?

my favorite mental image right now is the idea of a person drinking wine out of the bottle through a crazy straw.

i think i'm going to get my hair colored brown.

new cup, new cup!

2011-05-24T08:20:00.002-04:00

real fast:

i got a new car. it's a honda fit. it' dark blue. i love it.

i got a new job. i'm the sales manager at the aloft. it's working out ok and i haven't missed dave & buster's one single moment.

the same guy is around and it just gets more and more complicated. why is being a grown up like this?

i'm excited for memorial day weekend. we're doing a beach trip and i'm going to think about nothing the entire weekend! woo!

just another manic... tuesday

2011-05-17T20:18:00.002-04:00

ok i'm going to be self esteem-y here for a moment. it's my blog so i can do whatever i want. feel free to go away now if you aren't on board.

last saturday was my first comedy sportz show. i feel like it went alright. not as great as i would have hoped but i didn't vomit on anyone or run off stage crying. i even got out two 185 jokes (so what if they were both on the suggestions of shoes... it's something). this idea that it didn't go fabulously was only further solidified in my mind by the fact that a couple people asked me the absolute thing worst thing you could hear after a show:

"did you have fun?"

this is theater code for 'i have nothing good to say about what just assaulted my eyes for two hours but i don't want to squash this poor fool's dreams.' the only thing worse is when someone tells you that you looked pretty in your costume.

at any rate, i checked the show schedule today to see if i would be working show support (box office) this weekend... and i'm playing friday and saturday night.

so either it didn't go as badly as i thought it did or the artistic director thinks i enjoy acting a fool. either way, i'm way more nervous about this weekend's show than i was last weekend. i already am in the 'i think i'm going to vomit, sweating profusely, can't make sentences' stage of my anxiety. i'm so excited that i get to be like this until the weekend. yay!

in other news i'm in the process of purchasing a new vehicle. the forenza's engine died. she is gone now. when the man took her away on the tow truck i thought i might cry or be sad. but i wasn't. it kind of made me feel like maybe i'm a robot. but i guess robots don't vomit at the idea of not being able to think of jokes. unless, you know, it's that kind of robot.

freedom day

2011-05-02T20:58:00.002-04:00

i've decided that today is freedom day.

here's what i have to say about the death of bin laden:

in no way do i think this makes the world safer. things are only going to be more dangerous especially these first few months following his death. that's not what this is about.

to me it's about a sense of unity in a country that is so often divided. it's about feeling like there is some control in a world where a man can order people to take planes and fly them into office buildings. today was a day to reflect on the horrific events of the last 10 years. a day to have closure on the the memories we have all been carrying around with us. it was a day that for the first time i was able to say do you remember the news footage of people falling from the upper stories of the world trade center? do you remember the people covered in ash running from the falling towers? do you remember the little girl crying on the news holding a photo of her father asking people to call in if they had seen him?

i remember those things. they were horrific. they were scarring. i was 17 when 9/11 happened and it has affected the way i view the world. and it has defined us as country for the last ten years. as much as we like to pretend this hasn't changed who we are, it has. i doubt there is one among who doesn't watch others in the airport looking for the left behind bag.

anyway, i guess my point is just that for me today was a day to have a little closure to a tragedy that has hurt in my heart for a very long time now. and i'm sure many others feel the same.

nothing at all

2011-04-26T21:13:00.004-04:00

first, i hate getting old. my body has decided that a good reaction to spicy food is hiccups. hate it. it started around my birthday in january. my body said 'uhmm you're 27 now... no more enjoying life. or at the very least you will be in pain while you eat that glorious, lip tingling hot chicken pasanda.' as long as i don't start hiccuping from chocolate i'll be ok.

anyway, do you ever have that feeling like everything you do is golden? that's how i feel lately. like someone sprinkled me with glitter that makes me charming and funny and just generally the most amazing thing anyone has ever seen. i had an old man say i was a "nice broad" today. amazing, right? if my life had a theme song right now it would be this:

for real, y'all.

the drive-in is open again in goochland. i'm practically shaking with joy. ::joy:: i really want to go this friday night. wants to goooooo.

my sister and i are doing a half marathon in january at disneyland. i am beyond excited. but i need to seriously get in gear. i got one of those website discount things today for 20 bootcamps classes for $20. i figure that will be a good way to jump start my workout routine.

yesterday at work one of my coworkers was talking to me about how i have a lot of guys friends (the last few years, but especially since i moved to virginia, i haven't really been able to find many female friends that stick around. it's usually the opposite and i'm starting to worry. i always tell guys not to trust a girl who says she doesn't have any female friends. it's not that i don't have female friends... it's just that i seem to have more guy friends these days and they seem to have better friendship longevity.) but i'm never dating anyone and i was like yeah i know, that's life i guess. anyway, i went back to my office and one of our managers comes in. he's probably in his early 50s and is an adult. anyway, i was being goofy and i say 'why don't boys love me?!?' now usually he will just humor me and laugh and walk away, which was the reaction i was expecting. but every once in a while he's like 'bam truth bomb.' yesterday was a truth bomb day, i guess, because he turns to me and says 'because you're scary.'

me? scary?

to adult men?

what?

...

what?

i still don't believe it. and i'm now asking all the dudes out there to please reassure me that i'm not actually scary. and this isn't even the dude that when he told me he loved me i responded with 'i know.' now that guy should think i'm scary. the rest of them have no reason to be afraid of me. no. reason. there are actual things in this world to be afraid of. like heights. socialism. the fact that they never did catch that anthrax guy.

hey, did you guys i know i collect plastic snow globes? pretty awesome right? the collection has grown substantially since i moved to virginia. anyway, i just wanted to let everyone know, that's all.

my lips are still on fire from that chicken pasanda.

woos to woes.

2011-04-24T21:13:00.002-04:00

i feel like i've been ridiculously busy but i can't exactly remember what i've been up to. isn't that just always the way? anyway some thoughts so you know i haven't died.

comedy sportz is set to open may 7th. we will be ada compliant and ready to make you laugh until you pee your pants. we even had the chairs scotch guarded in anticipation of this happening. you're welcome!

i read tina fey's book bossypants this weekend. actually, i read it saturday. the entire thing. if you do improv, are a woman or like jokes i suggest picking up a copy. i do improv, am a woman and i like jokes so i totally loved it. it's a very funny, engaging book and a very fast read.

i went to florida for spring break. what a story that is. i suppose the trip was a lesson in expectations versus reality. the funniest thing is that before i left work i drew what i thought i would be doing on each day of my calendar and the trip mostly didn't turn out how i expected at all. but i still had a lot of fun and was glad to be away from the j-o-b.

i feel like everything is happening at once or nothing is happening at all. isn't that just the way things always are? water, water every where.

pledge today!

2011-03-30T08:06:00.002-04:00

so we're in the final push of our fundraiser for the new comedy sportz theater here in richmond. click here to go to the kickstarter website. you can see a video that shows you what we're up to and how you can help! even small donations help a lot (you can even pledge $1!). if you pledge $25 we will write your name on the bathroom wall. totally. worth. it.

feel free to also check out our website where you can see my name listed as a player! just remember to hate the game and not the player. that's how that goes, right? it's rare that i get to use that expression. anyway, if we reach our fundraising goal you might even get to see a picture of me on there one day!

thanks friends and we look forward to you laughing at us soon!

unicorny

2011-03-28T20:15:00.009-04:00

i have this unicorn at work. dan bought him for me for my brithday. dan and i have this thing about unicorns which started with me giving him this absolutely hideous picture of a cat brush the hair out of a unicorn's eyes. i bought it at a grocery store. it's pretty, uhmm, awesome. so dan bought me this unicorn that when you push it, it says things like 'wheee unicorn power.' it's pretty much amazing and the best gift ever.

i attached the unicorn to my dry erase board at work. this provides hours of fun b/c the unicorn can do or say anything he wants. i'd like to share some of my favorites.

magically delicious

2011-03-23T23:03:00.005-04:00

ok so first, i totally should be packing the stuff i need for the wedding on friday since i'm not coming home tomorrow night. but i'm not. i just got out of comedy sportz practice and i have been thinking and now i have things to say. so there you go. i'll sleep when i'm dead. actually i don't know that we will have to sleep when we're dead. i mean i will probably still enjoy sleeping so i might do it but i don't know that i will actually need to sleep. but that wasn't my point.

anyway.

tonight at comedy sportz we were talking about stuff because the theater opens in less than two weeks and i realized that i am extremely, over the top, some times cry about it, passionate about comedy sportz. and i said self, why is that? and now i would like to document why.

when i was in high school i was a dork. a nerd. uncool. whatever. mental picture for you... josie grossie in never been kissed.

bad hygiene, didn't relate to other humans outside my brain, thought tucking in your shirt was a requirement, had about as much self confidence as i did friends. like for real i'm not just saying this. it was bad. any one reading this who knew me freshman / sophomore year is welcome to back me up when i say it was kind of horrific. whatever i own it, that's life.

my junior year of high school i began sitting in for the comedy sportz lunch time practices. i would just sit and watch in amazement as they kids fearlessly just got up and did things. yeah most of the time it was terribly bad but they got up they tried and they carried on.

i never in my life thought i would ever get up and talk in front of people. especially without preparing in advance. please keep in mind that this was during the time period that i was utterly convinced i had a lisp (actually i still think i have one... but enough people have told me i don't that i think it's maybe not noticeable to anyone except me). anyway one afternoon before a game the team wound up randomly being short a person and for who knows what reason i volunteered to play without ever having actually played in a practice. i had been to many practices, knew the games, but had never had the guts to get up and try but no big deal i would love to do that in front of an audience. and out of sheer desperation and maybe the geniusness of mr conacher (our advisor) i was up on the stage that evening.

and i fell in love.

absolutely head over heels in love with making people happy. making them laugh. making them feel connected to me. and that day my life changed. my life changed for ever. and for that there is no amount of money or good words that can pay the debt that i owe to comedy sportz. that day and the months that followed taught me to be my own person. to take ownership for my decisions. to have a voice. to commit. to be who i was going to be, to own it, to love it and to take others there with me.

i doubt that i would have learned that lesson anywhere else. i doubt that i would be even a fraction of who i am today if it wasn't for this organization.

it is my hope that some day i will be able to share that with others. to have others see that this isn't just about a comedy show. it's a way of thinking about yourself, about others and the things that are given to you. it's about building relationships and learning to trust and to commit and to be honest and real. to live a life that is bold and passionate and isn't sitting in a chair watching other's live.

comedy sportz also taught me a very specific lesson that i am extremely passionate about. it can be summed up in two words: FAIL BIG.

those instructors would always tell us to go out there, make mistakes, jump and don't have a plan but try something. if you're gonna do something you might as well fail big and you'll be surprised how more often than not when you go all in it works out. it's improv magic. and you do you know why it's improv magic? because it's also life magic.

life is here waiting for you to step out, take a leap, be passionate and open yourself to possibilities. whenever i'm wondering whether or not i should do something or say something or go somewhere i always remind myself to fail big. because years down the road i want to be able to look back and think of all the amazing things i've seen and done. i want to be able to say i lived in arizona for two years and i bloody hate the desert. or i told some guy that i wanted to date him and he said no thanks. or remember that time i tried to drink a gallon of milk in an hour and it started pouring out my nose instead of going down my throat? do you know what it feels like to vomit half a gallon of liquid?!?

in life if you aren't getting dirty, if you aren't scuffing your knees and and stretching your brain, what are you doing? what's the point? forever i will be grateful for being taught this lesson. and i am grateful for the hand comedy sportz played in molding me into the person i am.

“I realized the point I was trying to push with these two programmed robots was the desire for them to try and figure out what the point of living was…It took these really irrational acts of love to sort of discover them against how they were built…I realized that that’s a perfect metaphor for real life. We all fall into our habits, our routines and our ruts, consciously or unconsciously to avoid living. To avoid having to do the messy part. To avoid having relationships with other people. of dealing with the person next to us. That’s why we can all get on our cell phones and not have to deal with one another. I thought, ‘That’s a perfect amplification of the whole point of the movie.’ I wanted to run with science in a way that would sort of logically project that.”

- Andrew Stanton, director of WALL-E
on that note, i have sent in my resume for a job in la. with comedy sportz. i don't know that i will get it. i don't know what i would do if i did. but i feel like i would closing myself to the lessons that comedy sportz taught me if i didn't try. i know that i will wind up where ever i'm meant to be. part of me would love a new adventure in la... the gypsy part who is dying to move. but part of me knows that i love richmond and that she owns a a very big piece of my heart that i don't know i'm ready to be without. in the meantime, i will be here loving every possible moment i have in this city who brings me daffodils every spring and finding the joy in my journey. i have a ring i wear every day and on it is engraved the saying 'it's not the destination it's the journey' and that's who i am.

in other news i just joined twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/ElainaToGo follow me and life will be awesome.

mittens!

2011-03-15T22:42:00.004-04:00

so mittens got a tramp stamp.

i'm thinking about getting a matching one.

not really.

anyway, i just think she looks so cute representing the caps.

speaking of the caps, they won tonight which makes for 9 in a row. amazing. here's to hoping they can keep it up.

silly penguins acting all fancy

2011-03-13T21:27:00.005-04:00

fun things that happened this weekend:

i ate goat.
i got my eyebrows threaded.
i went to a caps game and they won (they are currently up to 8 in a row).
i got my car washed and now mittens is so happy.
i watched the finale of an idiot abroad (loves it).

next weekend i'm going to hershey. so excited. i am going to be living my dream. i've never been to pennsylvania before so this is going to be a real treat. when i was in fifth grade we had to do a big report on a state. this report ended with all the fifth graders making floats and having a parade for the school. looking back it seems like maybe that was just a way to traumatize us against states that weren't california. i remember this one girl dressed up as a giant michigan. which mostly just looked like her mom wrapped in her blue felt and put a mitten on her head.

i had a pen pal starting in second grade who was from allentown, pa. and so i, of course, selected that great state. i had long since blocked out this memory until today when i started making plans for the hershey trip. and then i remembered the state report. for which i paraded around as a giant hershey kiss. it was pretty much amazing. i'm waiting for my mom to hook me up with some photos. but in the mean time to give you an idea, check this out:

i feel fairly certain that this is the exact pattern that my mom used to make the costume. man, i wish i still had it. how awesome would it be to roll up in hershey all shiny and happy and ready to get my chocolate on in that outfit?!

in fifth grade, i thought that costume was the most amazing thing in the entire world. in fact, i still think it is. it makes me kind of proud that even as dorky as i have been / am i've never been too ashamed to work a hershey kiss costume... or much of anything else, for that matter. remind me one day to tell the story of how we went to winter formal dressed as disney princesses my senior year of high school. we were pretty much the coolest thing to ever happen to that high school, even if no one else knew it.

the hershey bears have a hockey game on saturday evening. there are a total of 4 tickets left for that game so i doubt that we will be attending. such a shame. the bears are the feeder team for the caps and i hear they play a great game. better luck next time.

if anyone has any hershey special requests let me know asap. i'll do what i can to accommodate.

if you haven't heard me say it yet, i think lush is the most best store in the entire universe. i discovered it while i was in maui and my life has never been the same. they make soaps and scrubs and such from organic ingredients. i just love how luxurious and fabulous they feel. if you have a store near you, check it out. my closest stores are in raleigh, nc and washington dc. both of which i have visited. loves it. the workers are always super helpful and nice and willing to answer questions and let you take samples home to try. the smell can be over powering when you first walk in but it's totally worth it.

also, i'm totally obsessed with india these days. there is this fabulous indian restaurant like 2 blocks from my house. the food is just the best! i'm a big fan of their samosas and kheer. anyway, next weekend is holi. i would love to see that.

some day!

buuuuurnur

2011-03-10T21:51:00.004-05:00

so it's official, i live in virginia. you may have thought that happened about two years ago. but no, it happened today. i finally got virginia license plates. in my head i had convinced myself that acquiring virginia plates would be the most difficult thing a person could ever do. turns out it was pretty easy.

after the dmv handed me the plates and sent me on my way a friendly 'you're done,' i headed back to work to attach the plates. as i did this i started to get overwhelmed with the realization that i live in virginia. for real i live here.

as that fact sunk in, i did what i do when i feel emotions... dry heave. i don't why this has become the go to reaction over the last couple years. but whenever i feel excited, overwhelmed, stressed out, sleepy, basically anything, i start dry heaving. it's terrible.

i never actually throw up in these situations. i just get really close. i think that is a testament to the power of my brain. good job brain for not letting me throw up several times a day.

my brain also managed to convince that it would be a good idea to get a job at disneyland working on the jungle cruise. sometimes i wonder what happens to me in the night time. because more often than not i wake up in the morning thinking that some totally random thing is the most important thing i've ever thought of. like getting a job at disneyland, bringing my facebook back or going to hershey pennsylvania.

speaking of which, i really want to go to hershey. it's the best idea in the entire world. also i want to go to philly while i'm there.

i'm back on a running kick. good times. that is all.

one last thought. i hate commercials / tv shows that have ugly guys with hot girls. i don't know why but it makes me want to throw a rock at the tv. i think it misleads ugly guys about what they should expect from life.

better from behind

2011-02-19T22:15:00.004-05:00

the other day i was at a networking event. i met a lady who runs a gun safety and self defense school. i told her that if anyone ever tried to attack me my plan was to gouge their eyes out with my thumbs and asked if that was a good idea. she said, well at least you have a plan.

my coworker told her that he always carries his keys through his fingers so he could hit someone with them if he had to. she said 'and that's probably why you'll never get attacked b/c attackers are looking for people who look like an easy target. so since you carry your keys like that they will stay away from you.' and then she turns to me and says 'and they'll stay away from you b/c you probably walk around with the attitude that you're about to gouge someone's eyes out.'

i think that makes me sounds like much more of a bad ass than i actually am but i'll take it.

rehearsal this week went well. i'm getting used to everyone, liking people more, getting my improv land legs back, if there is such a thing. i'm excited at the opportunity to learn and grow and to make mistakes and look like an idiot and just play and have fun. i can't wait to just have a blast playing and laughing.

i feel like that's going to be the hardest thing for me... to not just stand there and laugh at the things that happen. it's been almost 10 years since the last time i performed improv. i almost can't remember what it's like to just jump. that's going to be one of the hardest things for me, learning to trust these people. i'll get there though. b/c i want it.

it's funny b/c people will ask what other improv i've done and i have to be like uhmm well i did comedy sportz in high school. which i'm sure makes me sound like i'm 19. and it doesn't help that i look like i'm 22... and that's pushing it. oh well, i'll let people think i'm just a wee lass. maybe that will help me get away with more.

it will be interesting to see what the next few months bring. ::excited::

in a couple months i will be in florida, chilling with harry potter, enjoying a butter beer. the trip has been pushed back a few times but it looks like we have a real plan now. i can't wait!

i wonder what happens to me in my dreams that i would wake up with 'grown and sexy' by chamillionaire stuck in my head. for two days that song has been stuck in my head. the worst part about it is i only know a few of the words and when ever i try to sing them they sound absurd. it goes something like this 'grown and sexy... hmmmmrrmm.... soon as you turn around... hmmmh mhhhhhh... better from behiiiIIIiind, better from behind. mrrrrrrrhhhmm mona lisa.... uhmm behiiiIIIiiiiind.' and my coworkers are like, uhm what?

that's life.

everybody wants you

2011-02-19T21:51:00.002-05:00

etsy does a little article on a featured artist and i find them quite interesting. i've decided to try answering the questions for myself. so, here it goes!

Tell us a bit about yourself.
i think of myself as a gypsy, an explorer, an adventurer. i love seeing new places, experiencing new things and learning. i think that's what keeps me going... the learning. the falling in love with new things. i'm currently in the east coast phase of my life but i will always claim i'm a californian, no matter how long i'm away. i live for things that make me laugh and i'm always looking to grow.

Apart from creating things, what do you do?
besides the 9-5 office job, i love to have things to do as an outlet. i'm in a local improv troupe, i'm a huge caps fan and i like to listen to jazz. i love to run when the weather is nice (a fair weather jogger, of course), i like to paint and read. i like to think about outer space and dinosaurs. i love traveling and using public transportation. i like finding interesting pieces of art for my growing collection.

What would be the title of your memoir? Why?
my eyes are green like my eyes would be the title. i came up with that when i was 5. i've always thought it was quite brilliant.

Where does your inspiration come from?
i think you have to draw inspiration from the things around you. you can't just sit around hoping inspiration happens to you. you have to be out doing and seeing and it will come. funny moments happen all the time if you're looking for them.

What does handmade mean to you?
handmade is something special from one person to another. i wish we valued this more in each other. those moments we take to do something small for another person. having something someone has created is having a piece of them.

If you could peek inside the studio of any artist, designer or craftsman (dead or alive), who would it be?
walt disney. i would love to see the creative process he went through.

What handmade possession do you most cherish?
the pieces of art i have collected over the years. love.

How do you get out of your creative ruts?
a change of scenery usually helps get my brain thinking in new ways again. not knowing what to expect puts me in a place where i'm more aware of my surroundings. i'm also a big fan of a good nap and some chocolate to restart the system.

Where would you like to be in ten years?
i just want to be wonderful.

happy valentines eve

2011-02-13T10:03:00.000-05:00

move over ovi

2011-02-12T23:54:00.004-05:00

this evening was a night for conquering fears. tonight i faced not just one but two of my fears. the first i knew i was going to be tackling and the second was a surprise. so, i have this fear of ice skating. my fear is primarily focused around falling and then having someone skate over my fingers and slice them off. also i'm afraid of falling. with ice skates on i'm over 6 feet tall. that's a long ways for my head to drop.

so we made our way to the skate nation tonight. i strapped on some skates and walked over to the rink. i was pleasantly surprised at how good i was at walking over to the rink and hoped that ice skating would turn out to be not as difficult as i remembered it being the last time i tried... 20 years ago.

right before i got on the ice i texted my friend and told her what i was about to do. she responded with what? last time i went i cracked my tail bone. and with that i got ready to take my first steps on to the ice. i got up to the little door on the ice and started having a melt down. i'm seriously surprised that i didn't puke or pass out. but after about 2 minutes of standing near the door yelling HOLD ON at my friends i went skating with i hesitantly took my first steps onto the ice.

the first lap around the rink took close to half an hour and involved me gripping the side railing in sheer terror. whenever anyone would get near me or suggest holding their hand i would yell GET AWAY FROM ME I'M AFRAID! which surprisingly works extremely well for getting people to leave you alone.

at any rate after about two hours i was able to complete a lap in a little under 10 minutes and without holding onto the side at all. taaadahhh! the only thing stopping me from zipping around that rink were the gathered masses of fear #2... teenagers.

gross.

i'm terrified of teenagers. especially in groups. they're reckless and mean and generally idiots. and they make me want to vomit on my ice skates. i would be skating along just fine and then i would suddenly find myself surrounded by teenagers which would make me freak out and forget how to remain erect on ice skates.

none the less, i survived the evening. i conquered ice skating and didn't have to rumble with any teenager gangs. so win for all parties.

in other news we had our first rehearsal last week for csz. it went well. we mostly did getting to know you games. by the end of rehearsal i had decided that there were two people in the group who i thought were cool and acceptable to me. so that's awesome b/c i generally dislike most people when i first meet them. and really 2 out of 30 is still disliking most people but 2 is a good start.

today i spent the majority of the day working at the theater. i did a lot of painting. i feel like i did tons of work but maybe i didn't really. i was there for over 7 hours though. i painted the ceiling. i got zapped by several lights. i painted a bathroom. i hung some posters. i helped move some stuff. oh, i ate some pizza. i got offered a possible job. yeah, that's pretty exciting actually. i'm just waiting to see how that turns out.

anyway, overall it was good day but i'm totally beat. i ache from my feet to my head but in a good i've accomplished things way. annnd i get to check off another thing from my 11 things to do before 2011 is over list! go me!

speaking of which i should post that list. hmmm.

1. drink butter beer
2. go to virginia beach
3. go on a boat
4. finish 5 paintings
5. audition for something - done
6. take an improv class
7. go ice skating - done
8. take trapeze lessons
9. take a cooking class
10. learn to juggle
11. finish reading a brief history of time

oh what a day

2011-02-03T20:05:00.003-05:00

i've stolen this picture from emsy for one reason. b/c she posted it on a day when i had a very funny thought about gravity.

anyway, my alarm clock went off and i thought to myself 'self, i simply can not get out of bed today.' was it because i was too tired? no, of course not. but my problem was that i felt that it was going to be totally futile and painful to attempt to fight gravity on that particular day.

after a few minutes i became a bit more coherent and i started cracking up. some how my sleepy brain had convinced the rest of me that gravity was just too much for us. i soon was out of bed and realized that gravity was not nearly as painful as i had remembered. it still makes me laugh as i remember my internal struggle that mostly consisted of my brain saying 'there's no reason to not be horizontal for the rest of that day.'

speaking of my brain coming up with random things, today i had an idea of something that i thought was hilarious. so, someone said something about being buried with their stuff and my brain started running down little roads, thinking funny little things. i came up with this scenario... so you know how the pharaoh was buried with his stuff? including servants who were killed and buried with him? well i had this idea about how the pharaoh has his two favorite servants and they know he is on his death bed and are there to attend to him in his final moments. after he dies they decide that they're too young to go with him and in a weekend at burney's-esque move they decide to prop up the pharaoh and pretend he has made a miraculous recovery. they go about having a wild time and ruling the nation with the dead pharaoh at their side. i think i will make this into a movie and call it the pharaoh and me.

that is all.

skippy doo dah

2011-02-02T21:50:00.003-05:00

so i was listening to npr the other day... actually i listen to npr every day because they play classical music in the morning and jazz in the evenings. and those are two of my favoritest things in the world. anyway, i hear random stories from npr and they usually tick me off. the other day i caught the very end of a news report that finished with "they are literally throwing money and energy into a pit." at first i thought, hey npr no they are not literally throwing money and energy into a pit. they're doing it figuratively. and then i realized i hadn't heard the beginning of the story and i decided that there is a giant pit some where and standing at the edge is.... alan greenspan with a fistful of benjamins and zeus with a fistful of lightening bolts. and they are literally throwing money and energy into this pit. i'm guessing that some angry government would like them to stop but, really, how do you stop a man who is wielding lightening bolts? there's no controlling a person like that.

i'm back on a mary tyler moore kick. i don't know why i love that show so much but i love to watch it. i could spend days just hanging out with mary.

so have you ever been so excited that you started dry heaving in an arcade? yeah, i know, me too. so after much waiting i found out today that i got into comedy sportz here in richmond. rehearsals start next week and the theatre is supposed to open in march. i about had a melt down this afternoon when i got the message that i was in. and then i began running around the store going between shocked screaming noises and dry heaving from excitement. it's impossible to explain just how exciting getting in to comedy sportz is for me. unless of course you've known me for years and you know how much i worship the ground comedy sportz stands on.

if i was any more excited there would be two of me. the one me here and the other me who i almost threw up in the arcade.

some important notes on comedy sportz: 1. i won't be quitting dave & buster's to do csz. comedy sportz is an unpaid gig, for now. so unless i can pay my rent with hopes and dreams, i won't quit my day job. 2. despite popular belief, being in comedy sportz doesn't also mean i will get a boy friend (i'm not sure why, but i've had a few people ask me that. maybe they know something i don't. maybe they think i'm in the stage of my life where all my dreams come true like some sort of disney movie). 3. yes, this ties me to richmond for a bit longer. 4. no, i won't say something funny to you. i charge for that now. and lastly 5. yes i will probably wind up on snl there by proving that i should have won that senior superlative of most likely to appear on saturday night live.

ok i need to calm myself down before i start dry heaving again.

other points of interest i am once again living in a place with my belongings and running water. together. united. all three of us. me, my stuff and water. we're getting along just fine.

now if a certain someone purchases a knuble jersey for me, i might just think i've died and not realized it.

to endor

2011-01-27T23:55:00.003-05:00

so it was snowing last night. driving in the snow is a lot like driving at lightspeed to endor. it looks exactly the same. and you often yell 'brakes, where are the brakes?!?'

no joke, it looks exactly like that. it's unreal.

so something i learned yesterday, it's never ok to tell someone of the opposite gender that they are good at yoga. and you should definitely never start that sentence with 'i've been watching you.' because even if you don't mean for it to happen, you're going to come across creepy. and not just kind of creepy. but hiding in the bushes outside of my house creepy. please take note old guy at gym.

that's all b/c it's time for sleeping.

a very merry unbirthday

2011-01-16T22:50:00.002-05:00

the caps finally won a game! YAY!

wake up every morining feelin' like p diddy

2011-01-09T21:03:00.003-05:00

tonight i'm in seattle. this morning was hawaii. tomorrow i'll be washington dc and by the evening richmond. i'd say updates soon but it's unlikely that will happen soon, if ever. maybe when things calm down. and it's not looking like that will happen for a couple months.

at any rate, holidays were nice, vacation was pleasant and now it's back to figuring out life.

we'll leave tomorrow for tomorrow

2010-12-19T00:07:00.002-05:00

some times you find yourself on the edge of maybe somethings.

that's where i am these days. for a couple months i've been casually seeing a fellow. casual, casual. and now i'm at the point where it could be something or it could be nothing. i know i don't want nothing. but what i want, what i need and what will happen are usually three different things.

i'm not sure what's going to happen. i'm just along for the ride at this point.

i want to wash my hands, my face and hair with snow

2010-12-18T11:27:00.003-05:00

actually, i think the whole washing yourself in snow thing is a really bad idea. anywho, we got a bit of snow this week. i know, i know... more lies, it doesn't snow here. it doesn't snow here, except when it does. and when it does the state shuts down. it's like snow sucks every virginian's will to live. i don't mind though b/c they set me up with a hotel two nights this week so that i could still get to work. yeah you do hotel party. the hotel party mostly involved me either laying in bed not being able to sleep or being asleep during the middle of the day. and we painted our toe nails. so that's a win.

this morning i was thinking about my niece. once upon a time when she was two i took her with me to have lunch with me and one of my friends. i think she sensed that the situation was kind of awkward and instead of crying or something she pretended to be asleep. we sat down for lunch and she just sat there, board stiff with her eyes closed. one time when he got up to refill his drink she half opened her eyes to look at me and then when she spotted him she closed them again. it was the funniest thing in the entire world to me. that at such a young age she was able to recognize awkwardness and decided the best option was just to bow out.

i wish sometimes that i could just do what she did. ha. awkward situation? oh wait i'm asleep, i'll wake up when you decide to go away. i feel like that would make life a little easier. my problem is that my brain typically shuts down when i'm in an uncomfortable situation. i'm unable to process any new information, unable to use words, unable to function. it's really just terrible. it would probably be more understandable for the other person if i did just pretend to me asleep. at least then the other person would be like oh she is asleep instead being like oh what happened to elaina's brain?

this is part of the reason i hate when people ask me what i'm thinking. you ask me what i'm thinking and instantly i have no words.

thems the breaks i guess. i'm hoping to have a go at the second half of a conversation that happened earlier this week that i mostly just watched in an out-of-body-esque experience. oh life!

the perfect man

2010-12-13T23:05:00.004-05:00

today at work my buddy was making fun of me and he said 'you love manly men. all you want in a man is for him to be wearing a flannel shirt and to have a beard!' and then there was a pause while his wheels were spinning...

and then he shouted 'i know who your perfect man is!'

'al borland!'

i will not deny that i love a good manly man.

anywho, i'm not totally sure how i'm still awake. anne's flight yesterday was canceled b/c she was supposed to fly through chicago but she got on a flight for this morning and to get to the airport on time i woke up a little after 4:30. when i opened the door of the house i said aw man is it raining and anne let me know that it definitely was not raining. oh no, my friends, it was snowing. so anyway, after an extra stressful drive to the airport i went to the gym to work out for a bit but really to use the shower.

the shower experience was a bit of a let down b/c the water was luke warm. not the greatest feeling on a snowy monday morning. anyway, after that i head back to my house to finish getting ready for work. i flat ironed my hair for about an hour. i think it took an abnormal amount of time b/c i was half asleep. eventually i pulled it together in time to sit on the freeway, attempting to battle the other drivers and the snow. the 15 minute drive took about 45 but it wasn't all that bad. it seemed to go back pretty quickly. i think i spent a lot of time talking to myself.

work was busy but i survived. we got free breakfast. that's always a win. i mostly just spent the day at my computer busily banging away at contracts and emails and mounds and mounds of paperwork. exciting stuff.

after work i got in a really nasty mood. partially b/c of my tiredness and partially b/c of my current inner conflict regarding the thing with the stuff and the pants. i decided the thing most likely to prevent me from spending the evening weeping was another trip to the gym. so i went there for an hour or so this evening.

then i began the journey out to kimy's. the refuge for those who seek clean dishes, laundry and not showering in gyms. on the way i stopped at target b/c i thought of the perfect gift for jon. unfortunately they didn't have any of the pieces that i needed for the gift. another unfortunate thing was i was so tired i has lost any capacity for rational thought. i spent an hour or so aimlessly wandering the store before picking up some laundry detergent and cheddar cheese and deciding it was probably best to leave.

i got to the house and realized it was after ten and i hadn't eaten dinner and was ready for a melt down. i tried eating left over mac and cheese but it tasted like death. then i decided to have nutella on bread. but when i went to get the nutella out of the jar it was solid b/c it had been in my car in the snow all day. i decided to put the jar in the microwave.

dumb.

it's in there for about two second and BAM flashes of light and my brain goes 'LIGHTNING!' luckily my hands work without my brain and i popped the microwave open before i started a fire. some times i'm surprised by my brains automatic reactions to things.

for example, one time i was driving from california to arizona and in the road there was a chunk of blown out tire but my brain goes 'ALIGATOR' and i swerved. for whatever reason my brain decided that the thing most likely to be in the road in the desert in arizona was an aligator. right.

or in my apartment complex in san diego there were a lot of stray cats. one night i was taking at the trash and as i tossed the bag in the dumpster, a cat came flying out. i throw my arms in the air and instead of yelling on expletive, i shouted 'CATS!' i was glad that no one was there to witness that.

ok definitely time for some sleep. here's to hoping for no more snow!

all in a day

2010-12-12T09:44:00.008-05:00

dear life,
i never know what to expect from you. thanks for being awesome.
elaina

here is an account of my saturday.

i wake up ridiculously early (aka 7 AM), get dressed and head to the gym. i work on my fitness b/c that's what brings me happiness. i just love going to the gym. the workout just brings a certain amount of clarity to my brain. helps me recenter and make sure my head is facing the correct direction.

after the gym, i went home to take a shower and that was a no-go b/c the water in the house is now coming out gray and i'm not too keen on showering in dirt. so i text messaged my buddy that i was meeting for breakfast and asked if he would be ashamed to eat breakfast with an unshowered person. luckily he said it was fine and i headed over to dots. dots is a cute little local diner that was once featured on the show diners, drive-ins and dives on the food network. i had french toast that was delicious. better than the french toast was being able to talk to jim about life. he's a great friend and i appreciate being able to talk to someone and not feel like they're being judgemental about the things i'm saying. also i know he will call me out if i'm being a nutter and start saying things like 'love beard.'

after breakfast i went back to the gym to shower. the shower at the gym is a magical place. there is an endless supply of clean, hot water. additionally, you can pick up tips for the best things to do while visiting st kitts island.

from what i hear on the streets, or actually the shower, it's a beautiful island where the people are extremely trusting of tourists, don't steal your change from your hotel and don't beg like they do in jamaica. also, if you go to the interior of the island there is a mountain you can stand on and get an amazing view of the island and the ocean. also, there is a marriott there that is brand new, all inclusive and fabulous.

i want to go to there.

a couple hours later, anne and i started our journey to the nation's capital. i love the dc. with all my heart. we started the journey with our usual good times in the car. i have the most fun with anne, always. we get to the furthest south metro station where we met up with my hockey ticket supplier, kevin. we get into kevin's car, do the exchange and he kindly offered to drive us into the city. after a bit of driving around the city lost, we found the museum we were looking for... the national building museum.

we get inside and there was some sort of winter wonderland going on. we were a little confused by the number of christmas trees and lights and people but we continued our journey to the exhibit anne wanted to see. so we're walking through the second level and we pass a table with a stack of donuts, which, obviously i was surprised to see. i mean, who just puts out a plate of donuts in a museum. at this point i decide it would be a good idea to point this out and loudly i say 'look, there are donuts!' at which point anne sees this:

yes, ladies and gentlemen, will schuester of glee fame. smirking and then shrugging at my donut comment and then quickly walking away as if to say 'hey what a dork! she's all excited about donuts and a famous person is standing right here. loser.' at this point anne turns to me and is like 'that was mr schu!' and i'm just like, what? i was looking at donuts i missed it! here's mr schu 2 feet from me and i'm too busy checking out his donuts to notice. we continue on to the exhibit which was really cool and then we hear it. mr schu singing us christmas songs. he was there to film some christmas special for tnt. so i got to see him after all. i got to see him and hear him singing 'come all ye faithful' my favorite christmas song. shortly after that we were not too nicely tossed from the museum. thems the breaks.

after the museum we started a quest to find some indian food and on the way we stumbled upon a street market. i bought a delicious cookie. two pieces of short bread with jelly filling and powdered sugar. the top piece of short bread had a bell cut in it for the jelly to poke through and some how the powdered sugar didn't get on the jelly bell. so good.

the market basically ended at the front door of the indian restaurant. so good. the food was fabulous. they have the best lamb and oooh rice pudding. it was a delicious meal. man, i love indian food.

next stop was the caps game. ok first, i'm just going to let you know the caps lost. we were robbed but whatever, it happens. the game was an absolute blast. we were playing colorado. we recently traded one of our players for one of theirs. it was an extremely tense game that involved lots of fighting and yelling and everything that is good about hockey. they have this new thing where they drop shirts from the ceiling on little parachutes. it was amazing. just like the hunger games. we even got to see knuble score his 250th career goal. knuuuuuuble.

overall it was a magical day. it's not every day you get mocked by a celebrity.

i'm sorry dave. i'm afraid i can't do that.

2010-12-01T22:49:00.008-05:00

so i've unplugged from the network. facebook that is. i've kept the account b/c of the ridiculous amounts of photos i have stored there. once i can manage to back those all up some where else, i'm sure i will pull the plug for good. i just got tired of checking it and wasting time, blah blah blah. so like everything i do, it's all or nothing and i've decided on nothing.

free at last.

caps beat the blues tonight. 4-1. i was listening to the game on nhl radio. i had muted the sound while i was talking to my sister on the phone and when i turned it back on it was just the sound of people skating and taking shots. it's like one of those recordings of the ocean that people listen to for help falling asleep. except instead of the ocean it's hockey. that brings me joy.

so the other day i was talking to some friends about celebrity crushes. when i was a wee one i was in looooove with

alan thicke. which is odd b/c i don't much care for canadians. but i guess when you're 4 you don't know a lot about america's hat and you're willing to settle.

as i got a little older, 5, i moved on to bigger, better, bearded dudes.

that's right. commander will riker, ladies and gentlemen. i was so sad when riker married troy. totally not fair. if i had been, uhhmm 30 years older and on the starship enterprise, this man would totally have been my husband. riker and me... we're just two ships in the night i guess. to this day i'm still enamored with any man who can grow a beard like my riker. i think it's a sign of manliness... and galactic domination.

over the last year or so i developed a great love for the one and only

alec baldwin. i must say, alec has really come into his own over the last few years. and there's just something about his tv power that i love. also, you have to admit, the man has amazing hair. amazing.

as of late my love has gone in a full canadian circle.

mike knuble of the washington capitals. according to wikipedia he is a canadian american so i'm pretty sure that means he just wants to be american. sure, he's no ovi or semin but has a finesse that you just can't deny. and to be perfectly frank, ovi scares me a bit.

bro is pretty much a beast who eats hockey players for dinner. i'll wear the shirt with his name on it but i hope i don't ever actually meet him.

in other news i had a fabulous thanksgiving. spent the holiday weekend in north carolina with one of my bestest friends of all time. we had a lovely turkey dinner and did some black friday shopping and spent a copious amount of time watching movies. it really was a fabulous holiday and i feel lucky that i got to spend it with such an awesome friend.

she introduced me to the show 'extras.' i totally love it. ricky gervais is a genius. i don't know how a person gets to be that funny. favorite line of all time "bye, nerd." i could spend another weekend just watching that show.

did yoga tonight. i didn't like it as much as the yoga / tai chi / pilates class i took. that felt like a real workout. yoga is kind of weird and i constantly feel like my boobs are going to suffocate me. at any rate i will probably go again if the dude makes me b/c that's the kind of girl i am. personally, i'd much rather try out a spin class.

i like your beard

2010-11-15T20:14:00.002-05:00

so, turns out i'm like the world's most awesome cook and i don't know why i haven't been cooking all this time. tonight for dinner i had a stir fry. it was delicious. a little delicious? no. way. it was like cooking fairies delivered a lovely dish from dinner heaven... which is, obviously, run by fairies. tonight's dinner was stir fry. lots of delicious vegetables, chicken and rice. for dessert i had some pumpkin ice cream that i purchased this evening from my friend, trader joe.

trader joe is my new best friend. i like to go to his store... trader joe's.

anyway, i was driving home from work today and i was thinking about how it is important to have people in your life who encourage you to do good things. i have this friend at work who convinced me to join the gym and also convinced me to start cooking. i know it's only been a week, but this has already been such a positive change in my life. it just makes me happy to be gyming and cooking and just taking care of myself.

diane is currently in the process of having her baby. i'm excited to meet the new baby.

also, i'm almost done with book 6 of harry potter. and this wednesday i will be at a cap's game. yessssss. i love me some hockey. hopefully i will get to see my husband, mike knuble. yeah ya do knuble.

puppy dog eyes

2010-11-13T14:10:00.003-05:00

in case you were wondering, i had a blast in boston. i love weekend trips. so much fun. i got this new hat while i was there. it's a puppy. the end.

i start battin' my eye

2010-11-13T13:52:00.002-05:00

so i joined a gym about a week ago. by nature i am an all in kind of person. i'm either totally doing something or i'm not doing it at all. so obviously i am now an obsessive gym goer. this first week has been good. i went friday evening. was in boston saturday and sunday. went monday, tuesday and wednesday. thursday i got to the gym, got half way through changing and then realized i didn't have any tennis shoes. this morning i went again. i can already feel it in my bones... the ache to be at the gym. i've suddenly stopped caring about anything except hanging out at the gym. at any rate, if you don't hear from me much or if i seem to be more flakey than usual, it's probably b/c i'm either (a) at the gym or (b) thinking about the gym.

after the gym this morning, i got my eyebrows waxed. this, above all things i have to do as a woman, is my least favorite thing. they put hot wax on my face and then rip it off in hopes of pulling my hair out. it makes me want to die. and what's worse is that for hours, many hours, the skin around my eyebrows is bright red and hurt-y. honestly, i don't know why i even do it. well, yes, i do. i like to look nice for the boys. i'm just thankful that my eyebrows are extremely slow at growing back in and i can usually go months between eyebrow waxings. oi.

after the waxing, i went to trader joes to do some grocery shopping. ::love:: i decided this morning that i would take my gym-ing one step further and i'm going to make the goal to not eat out as much. so i bought some stuff so that i can cook at home. the first meal went well. i cooked a chicken breast and some rice in this fabulous marinade that i got at trader joes. it waa called island soyaki or something like that. seriously i could have just drank the sauce from the bottle. screw chicken. the sauce made me decide that i need to go buy some snow peas and brocolli b/c i could eat that for every meal. including breakfast.

the bacon selections at trader joes was very confusing. the cured / uncured thing. i've never noticed that before. i'm guessing i usually eat cured bacon so i decided to go with that. i also got some tofu b/c i love tofu. a lot. i like traders joes b/c it's small and i'm not tempted to buy candy or icecream when i'm there. ha.

Baby Monkey

2010-11-04T08:11:00.000-04:00

This is my new favorite thing. I can't stop watching it! Going backwards on a pig, baby monkey! Baby monkey!

a little night music

2010-11-03T20:11:00.005-04:00

this is me at work today. when i am particularly stressed out this is how i stare at my computer. i find that fake smiling at my computer generally tricks my body into thinking maybe things are ok. it's like the rest of my body is like 'well, if her face is doing that we might as well get on board too.' so, i spent the majority of my day looking like that.

my buddy text messaged me today and asked how my day was going. i told him my day was standard, which we both decided was acceptable for a day to be. i feel like the day balanced out with good and bad. instead of just the entire day being neutral, i had a lot of good stuff happen and a lot of bad stuff happen. if for every good thing i had put a bean in a jar and for every bad thing i took a bean out, my jar would be empty right now. i'm glad i don't actually do that b/c i think that would be pretty depressing at the end of the day.

in other news, we started up the thankful board at work. every year during the month of november i write down one thing i'm thankful for every day. here in richmond we put it up on the white board and random people will add to it in addition to me. and it winds up being a neat collection of the many people, places and things people are thankful for. it's always a really cool project and neat to look at when the end of the month comes around.

today when i was driving home i realized that all i care about is listening to jazz, reading and watching hockey. and then i wondered 'when did i become this person?' i just don't know how, when or why it happened.

and now, a picture of me as gertie from halloween!

baby look at you now

2010-11-02T20:53:00.005-04:00

a friend just posted this quote on facebook:

I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. -Michael Jordan

it reminded me of a conversation i had recently in the car with a friend. i seem to do all my best thinking in the car. so lately i've been really struck by the realization that generally people don't set high enough goals. people are so paralyzed at the idea of not achieving a goal, of falling short, of failing that they set only small, easily achievable goals. and really, how is that helping?

as far as goals, are you better off if you make a goal to lose 5 pounds (when you need to lose 50) and you lose 5 or if you set the goal to lose 50 and you only lose 10? in the first scenario you've met your goal but only lost 5 pounds. in the second, you have failed by a large amount but lost twice as must weight.

i think we are too attached to the idea of failure. we act as though failing is the worst thing that could happen to a person. like it's some great evil that we need to run from and be ashamed of. there's no shame in failing because it means you're trying something.

so back to the car, during the course of our conversation i thought of a great way to illustrate my point to my friend. humor me and play a long.

i asked her this:

10 years ago what were your goals? what did you think your life would be like now?
she responded i thought i'd be married, with kids.
have you achieved either of those things?
no.

5 years ago what were your goals? what did you think your life would be like now?
i'd thought i'd be married and graduated from college.
have you achieved either of those goals?
i've graduated from college.

1 year ago what were your goals? where did you think you would be?
i thought i would be teaching.
but you aren't. do you think that makes you a failure or do you think you are where you are supposed to be right now in your life?

she said that she definitely felt like she was doing what she was supposed to be doing with her life right now.

exactly. think of all the goals you've made over your life and never achieved but you have been led to other, greater experiences. so really shouldn't we all be setting our aim as high as possible and trying with all we have to get to the highest point and let the rest work itself out? because really when it comes down to it you're probably going to get redirected from your plans anyway so you might as well shoot for the top.

i believe in setting big goals. set big goals and figure out smaller steps to achieve them. set goals that are bigger than you. set goals that stretch and seem impossible... and then set stepping stones in front of you to get you there.

and get out there and fail big! fail. get rejected. say something stupid and mean it. fall down and get banged up. hit dead ends, make wrong turns, fight for something, for someone, for some where. don't apologize for not living up to someone's expectations, not even your own. just go and do what you can, while you can and be stronger than you ever thought you could be.

anyway, that's my rant for today. i can proudly say that today i have had at least one miserable failure. onward and upward.

nom nom nom

2010-10-15T19:10:00.002-04:00

it's been a busy few weeks, to say the least.

i went to ca for a week. it was a last minute trip and it was fabulous. this last week i had two old roommates from az come into town. we spent the week being tourists in the va area.

i really haven't got much to report. i've been reading a lot. and working (when i'm not on vacation). i'm in an incredibly good mood these days.

i guess i just love fall in virginia.

oh! we went to a hockey game this last week. i love hockey so much. and i loooove the caps. it was just about the best game ever. hockey has probably passed baseball in my book. within the first few minutes of the game two of the players had taken off their gloves and were circling each other. there was so much tension as we waited to see if someone was actually going to swing or if the refs were going to step in. after what seemed like years of waiting they went at it and even knocked each other's helmets off! i just love hockey so much.

guess what i did today

2010-09-22T21:38:00.008-04:00

i uploaded some pictures! they are: (1)when i thought i was dying on the hay ride (2) tom's in new york (3) the holiday preview at work (4) when the thought of dying at the apple farm hadn't occurred to me yet (5) right after i got out of the pace car today *i'm surprised i wasn't puking at that point* (6) hanging out with charlie brown.

i was born in a goldmine, you were born by the sea

2010-09-20T21:37:00.003-04:00

at the request of a dear friend, i recently attempted to read twilight. after getting 300 pages in, i gave up. i suppose i'm not much for romance-y books. i'm more into crime, mystery and children fighting each other to the death. i'm currently working on reading 'the age of wonder.' it's extremely intriguing so far. it's one of those books that i wish i could small wonder. (small wonder: (v) to flip a book in front of your eyes and read the entire thing).

friday night orin and i had a nerd evening. i appreciate people who are willing to go along with my nerdventures. we were on our way to the science center to learn about the night sky and i was telling him that the only thing that i love as much as outer space is dinosaurs. anyway, we get to the museum and it turns out that it is... i kid you not... DINOSAUR NIGHT. the presentation was half about outer space and the other half about dinosaurs. it was a dream come true. after the presentation was over we met with the astronomical society.

those people were characters, to say the least.

there was a man who looked like doc brown and was showing me star charts from the 70s. and the indian man who smelled like expensive cologne. and the young guy who sounded like he was from west virginia and was very excited to be there. all interesting people. seeing them was almost as awesome as getting to use the telescopes. we were lucky enough to see venus, jupiter with her moons, a couple stars and a nice close up of the moon.

saturday i went to c-ville with some of the ladies and we picked apples. i must tell you that apple picking is far more enjoyable than strawberry picking. apple picking involves less physical labor, hunting and sweat. also, the apple place sells things like apple cider donuts, apple salsa and offers hay rides. it was a lovely day and i would go apple picking again. i probably won't ever pick strawberries again. unless they are free after i pick them.

so i was getting a facial today and i was telling the esthetician that i'm having issues with jawline acne right now and she responds, 'are you stressed?' i laughed.

i think if you had ten people and you asked them if they were stressed 8 of them would say yes. 1 would just start crying. and the last would be so far gone that she wouldn't even realize where she is. basically, what i'm saying is 'of course i'm stressed! everyone is!'

it also reminded me of an episode of 30 rock when liz's coworkers had done something especially ridiculous and she yells 'you're the reason for my jawline acne!' don't think that yelling that hasn't crossed my mind on several occasions. actually, in all reality my coworkers are pretty amazing. and they only drive me crazy a relatively small portion of my life compared to either (a) corporate or (b) party hosts.

speaking of coworkers, one of mine is growing a beard for me. last week i was telling him that i love when it's playoffs b/c he grows a beard and he looks really good in a beard. so today he walks in with what looks like 3 or 4 days of growth and says 'i'm growing this for you.' i cause hair to grow on men's faces. or at least a man's face. but hey, it's a start.

a real class act

2010-09-09T20:44:00.002-04:00

caitlin and i had a fun outing this evening. i saw online that the virginia museum of fine art was open today until 9 pm and had a jazz band and since it was all free i decided i was going to go. and caitlin was more than happy to come with me.

i must tell you, there's nothing like knowing the name of painting or recognizing a painter by style to make me feel like a genius. being in art museums generally make me feel like i'm the smartest person alive by 1. being there and 2. having some knowledge of art works.

after we had toured the museum a bit we made our way to the cafe. we sat on the outside patio and i enjoyed a dinner of cheese and fruit while listening to the jazz band play. the weather was perfect and it was a wonderful, rich moment... being there.

i wish there were more evenings like that.

next friday the richmond astronomical society has their sky watch at the science center. they set up their telescopes for the public to use for free. i'm. totally. there.

oh, npr

2010-09-07T22:27:00.002-04:00

so when i heard this on npr tonight i was a little heated. the first muslim college has opened in the us, which i think is awesome! i think it's a great idea to be able receive an education against the backdrop of your faith. what upset me was a quote from a student... saying that the reason she decided to go there was so that she could be with people who looked like her, thought like her, had the same experiences as her and so on. it just seems foolish to intentionally surround yourself with people who won't challenge you to think outside yourself.

i'm not overly worked up about, i mean it was a quote from, mostly likely, an 18 year old girl who still has lots of learning to do. and i'm certain that the majority of the students are attending for other reason entirely.

scurrrrrred

2010-09-01T23:09:00.003-04:00

i believe this is a drawing of me. my paranoia about being stabbed at work or shot any time outside of work has reached an all time high. which is awesome. and by awesome i mean making me think i've become a crazy person. i blame the sudden surge of violent crimes that have hit close to home.

anyway tonight the front door was making pounding noises which led to dan telling me i should hide in the closet but there's no room in the closet and my axe is buried under 72 hours worth of supplies because i'm also paranoid about hurricanes making my life flood and there being no electricity for weeks. some times i really wish people just didn't tell me things because i have a ridiculous over active imagination and a crippling fear of everything. ugggh. i'm considering getting a baseball bat to keep under my bed. and i probably need to get a gun. and valium. mostly some valium.

i hate being afraid of everything.

comedy sportz closing?!?

2010-09-01T22:43:00.003-04:00

i wish it was some sort of sick joke. but sadly it's not. comedy sportz sent out this link this evening. i watched the video of james' plea for help and i cried. comedy sportz has meant so much to me over the years. i first fell in love with comedy sportz when i was in high school when i played on my school's team. i even went to csz camp one summer. it was through comedy sportz that i came into my own. i learned to have a voice. i learned to believe in me. i learned i was good at something. i learned i was funny. comedy sportz camp taught me one of the greatest lessons i've learned in life... FAIL BIG. they always told is that it was better to fail big than to fail not trying. so if you're going down, take the risk, jump in with both feet and FAIL BIG. it's something i think about all the time, especially lately at this cross roads in my life.

they also taught me the difference between sexy and creepy. which, 10 years later, is something i still share with people. 10 years later and people are still laughing at that joke!

and then i think about all the shows i've attended at the theater on seward. the friends i've taken there. the birthdays, holidays and special occasions i've celebrated there. the time i broke my foot there! the laughs i've had. the times i've been feeling so down and miserable that i would just get in the car and drive to a show, knowing that comedy sportz would make it all ok. there are just so many memories and comedy sportz has been such a huge part of my life... i can't bear to think of it not being there. man, i'm crying again!

if you can, purchase some tickets. give them to friends in la. go see a show, you won't regret it. i promise.

in the mean time, comedy sportz and all the talented act-letes will be in my prayers. you're so much more than just a show in la. you've helped make me who i am.

incredible

2010-08-24T21:58:00.002-04:00

story time. so, first important information to have: the roads in virginia are not lit like they are in other parts of the country. when you are driving through your neighborhood, around town or on the freeway the only light is from your headlights. why virginia thinks this is a good idea i will never know. i've always thought it was terrible because it means you can't go running at night... because we also don't have sidewalks here.

anyway, this evening i was driving down 288, which is a highway with two lanes going each direction. i see a disabled vehicle pulled off to the right with it's hazards on, and as i am in the lane closest to them i decide it would be a good idea to move over to the left lane. i check my mirror and see that another car is coming up pretty fast in that lane and decided not to move. then i got the impression that no, i really needed to change lanes and that person could slow down (i was going the speed limit after all).

just as i am changing lanes and passing the disabled car what should come into the view from my headlights? a person standing in the center of the lane i was just in. a moment goes like this: lane change, person, i'm gone. had to all occur in under 2 seconds. if i hadn't changed lanes i would have hit that person going 65 miles an hour because i didn't see them until i was right on them. i can't even imagine what that would have been like. i can't imagine the amount of awful terrible things that would be happening right now if i hadn't listened and changed lanes. and i can't imagine what the person could have been doing standing on the highway. how self involved, selfish and stupid can that person be? whatever was lost on the freeway was not worth risking their life and the lives of the other people on the highway. i understand that we all make mistakes, but standing on the freeway in the dark is a pretty stupid mistake.

at any rate what i wanted to say was that i am grateful for a Heavenly Father who prevented a tragedy this evening. i am grateful to have the Spirit as a companion. i am grateful that i listened.

back in the swing

2010-08-19T09:47:00.002-04:00

i've started running again. and by running i mean mostly walking. taking a couple months off was a bad idea. at any rate i've done at least 2 miles each day for the last 3 days. in a couple weeks i want to head to the downtown trail for the 6 miler. hopefully it will stop raining for a few days so it's not all muddy but i'm antsy to get back on that trail. i love it so much. it's just the most beautiful run and it totally makes it worth it.

i've developed a phantom of the opera obsession lately. i've watched the movie twice this week. ha. the music is addictive!

why i'm angry today

2010-08-17T21:00:00.002-04:00

cheeses love you

2010-08-15T22:10:00.003-04:00

it was so incredibly humid today. it was so humid that my brain said to me 'this is what it feels like to be a fish.' and i believe my brain. the good news is that 1. i didn't bother flat ironing my hair day and 2. some day virginia will return to a normal level of humidity.

i have finally moved back to the house in glen allen. and i have unpacked all my belongings and made my room into a some what orderly place. i didn't think this day would ever arrive... but jessica manhandled me in the parking lot today and some how that convinced me to move home. it's good though b/c em gets back from australia next weekend and we're starting up our gym routine again. i'm super excited about that. so that's the real reason i moved home.

today in sunday school we were talking about being so happy about something that you shouted for joy. and i said i can't remember a time that i've ever been that excited about something. and then at the end of church kimy said to me 'do you want grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner?' and i said 'YESSSSSS!!!! YES I DOOOOOOOO!' and then i realized i just shouted for joy about grilled cheese sandwiches. and i was sorry that i wasted my first shouting for joy on toasted bread and melted cheese.

and then we ate the grilled cheese and i realized it wasn't a waste at all.

costa rica

2010-08-14T23:27:00.005-04:00

so my friend katie is in costa rica with the family she nannys for. i was like hey katie what time is it in costa rica? and she said 9:30 and i was like 'what? it's 11:30 here.' turns out... costa rica... not in the caribbean. dumb. so i was like hey i'm going to check out this costa rica place so i googled a map. here is what i learned:

1. costa rica = NOT an island
2. costa rica = part of central america
3. costa rica has a city name ciudad. ciudad is spanish for city. it's like if we named a city "city". dear costa rica,
try harder.
thanks,
the world
4. costa rica has a city named golfito. this is where mini golf comes from. or at least that's what i'm telling myself.

the rivers just a river

2010-08-14T22:34:00.003-04:00

first, i would like to state that i don't much care for the music in les mis. i've been listening to the broadway station on pandora and inevitably when i hate a song it's les mis. there, i said it.

i've had a very interesting week. and by interesting, i actually mean other words like exhausting, emotionally draining, overwhelming, stressful, sad and a bit of random adventure. work has been exasperating lately. everything seems to be getting on my nerves lately. friday i was at my wit's end. first thing in the morning i had to record all the phone greetings in the store. when we had to do this about a year ago i was able to get someone else to do it but this time there was no getting out of it. the phone recording gives me a lot of stress b/c of my tightly held belief that i have a lisp. additionally, i'm from california and i don't talk the same as the people here. so that kind of had me raw for the rest of the day. then i was working with two people that had just pushed me to the edge of what i was able to deal with.

the first lady was just mostly full of the oddest requests and questions. not to mention she was planning this huge party the day before it was to happen. why? why would you do that? if you want to do that at your house, fine... but not some where else. the questions were mostly things like 'if i order the fruit platter can you cut everything into balls?' and 'why don't you serve deviled eggs?' the second person has been a thorn for a while. he called about a month ago saying that he called me *last august* while i was on vacation and left a message and wanted to know why i didn't call him back. anyway he had an event last year and he had an event this last week and has one coming up in a few weeks. he called to change the upcoming event's date. i called back and spoke to his wife. the conversation went like this:
me: i got the message, we can do that, no problem, blah blah blah.
her: ok, i just have one question.
me: ok...
her: the room seemed smaller this time, did you move the wall?
me: uhhh, no.
her: well, i'm pretty sure the room is a couple feet smaller.
me: no, no it's not. i have to go now. because i'm going to kill myself.

i'm pretty sure i got off the phone and called her an idiot. with some added expletives. i don't know how often restaurants go around moving the walls a couple feet, but i'm guessing it's not that often. i'm just not sure how much longer i can handle this job without hurting someone. ugh.

monday i was out to dinner and our waiter was a guy who used to be waiter at my work. and was constantly trying to get me to go out with him. so dinner was *fun*. i feel like this entire week was filled with people trying to get me to do things i don't want to do. like i was constantly being guilted into doing things i didn't want to do. not like hey do these drugs or help me rob this liquor store... more like hey go to such and such place with me ::guiltguiltguilt:: last night i said to my self 'self, no more are you allowed to make choices based on guilt.' but of course that won't work b/c the only person who can't guilt trip me into doing something is me. i just feel like too often i let other people control what goes on in my life by being passive.

the other day i made the trek up to maryland to go to the temple and it was once again closed due to a power outage. it's the oddest thing. and it just compounded the feeling that nothing works out like i expect it to lately. it's not like things are going terrible or something like that... it's just that nothing works out the way i think it will... more so than i'm used to.

i wish there weren't always so many secrets. i wish people were more open and just said what they were thinking with less fear of what would happen. i wish i could just cry and not feel like an idiot.

i got a letter from kevin this week. he's doing well at the mtc. he's learning a lot and is excited to get to thailand.

i miss him. a lot.

i feel like something is coming. i just hope i see it when it comes. i'm afraid my eyes will still be closed.

update: i do like a couple songs from les mis. on my own and i dreamed a dream. but that's it.

2010-08-07T22:38:00.003-04:00

ok, so first, yes, i'm wearing my glasses again. i'm getting old and my eyes need help. moving on...

amber has been telling me to go to the georgetown cupcake place for months. so i have finally decided to be a good sister and go eat some cupcakes and report back on flavors. anyway we waited in line for like half an hour. they were good cupcakes and much better than any cupcake i've experienced in the state of virginia. though i have to admit... vanilla in santa monica is still my favorite. cupcakes are probably a little better and there's no wait and they make the mini cupakes so you can try more flavors. that brings me joy.

it was a really fun day in maryland. it still is confusing to my californian brain that i can drive 2 hours and be in a totally new state. i'm amazed every time it happens. i was told today if i continued another hour or so i could probably get all the way to pennsylvania. CRAZY.

i love trips up to maryland b/c you get to spend a lot of time in the car chatting. that's usually the best part of any trip up there. it's always bonding time. we had a lot of fun girl time today... talking about everything and anything. overall, excellent way to spend a saturday.

random thoughts

2010-08-03T22:45:00.003-04:00

i think our memories are a rolodex that are filed under senses. for example i can smell something and instantly in my brain i think of the train at knott's berry farm. or i hear 'soak up the sun' by sheryl crow and i can taste rootbeer in my mouth.

along the same lines i feel like my brain is very easily programmed into automatic responses. i only have to see something done once or twice before it becomes an automatic response. for example, whenever that song 'billionaire' would come on kevin would always say i hate this song and change the station. now, whenever i hear that song starting i think 'i hate this song' and change the station. i've never even heard the song, so i don't know that i hate... it's just the automatic response i have programmed in my brain. or at work there's this one song that when it comes on i can't stop myself from asking caitlin 'do you know what movie this is in?' because she asked me that the first time it came on. i don't do it because i want to but because i have to. maybe it's a form of turrets.

i feel like these associations are stronger when there is some sort of emotion tied to it.

i also feel like some times we remember things like a polaroid, a snap shot of a moment. you'll be sitting there thinking about whatever and then suddenly this picture from the past, a 20 second time capsule will pop into your mind out of no where. and that usually leads to a chain reaction of picture after picture of memory moments flashing through the mind. i like when that happens. it happened to me this evening. it wasn't particularly good memories, but not bad either. just little pieces of my life. and i say i remember, i remember.

lately i feel like a sponge that is completely filled with water and if you barely touch it water falls out. yes, that's indeed what i feel like. every last piece of me is at maximum capacity.

i generally don't like people when i meet them. i'm really trying to work on that. i was thinking about it this evening and of all the people i know in va there are probably 2 people who i liked when i met them. and 1 of those people isn't even my friend. it's not that she was my friend and now she isn't, we just have never become friends. so she's kind of a waste. i don't remember always being this way.

i'm reading the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy. i actually have the ultimate hitchhikers guide to the galaxy which contains 5 novels in the series. if i can get through this series i will be half way through my 10 books by the end of the year goal. here's to hoping it works out. setting a goal for a certain number of books has taken the wind out of my reading sails. i probably read about 20 books last year but i haven't been able to finish a single book this year. i've started many but have not finished one.

i really want to play laser tag.

warning

2010-08-02T22:37:00.003-04:00

"exposure to the son may prevent burning"

there's a church that drive by on my way to work from kimy's house that has a billboard that says that. it makes me chuckle every time i see it.

anyway, things are going better these days. yay. i even got to buy my i made 1 day without crying necklace. what a champ!

this past saturday i babysat quentin. he's a very tiny child. so that's fun. i had him laying on my arm and i was flying him around the room. he's very tiny so it's easy to do. and then i can say things like 'stick your arms out!' and he actually does it. it was cracking me up. we also watched a youtube video of the tiki room about 10 times. pretty sure i have the routine memorized. the best thing though was that quentin can sing the tiki chant exactly right. crazy kid.

so today at work my boss said something sassy to me and before i could think i shouted out 'i'm not breathing again until he says sorry!' and then dramatically started holding my breath. luckily he said sorry almost instantly. but gee whiz, sometimes i'm even surprised by the things that come out of my mouth. i don't know what i would have done if he hadn't said sorry. probably would have just passed out.

speaking of work, this past friday i went to this open house at a college that is opening in our shopping center and they gave me a compass. i found out that when i'm at my desk i'm facing exactly south. i spent the next few hours trying to imagine i could see all the way to florida. and once i got frustrated with my imagination i put up this:

and now i can see to florida!

to market, to market

2010-07-30T23:43:00.002-04:00

going to the grocery store in virginia is always an experience. really, doing anything in virginia is an experience but the grocery store never fails to deliver on memorable moments. first, i have to let you know that virginians are very protective of their grocery stores. it's like their grocery store of choice is their favorite uncle and if you dare say anything bad about their store they will cut you. recently one of the local favorites, ukrops, sold out. they're all called martins now (i always want to call them henry's... and generally refer to it as the store formerly known as ukrops). this left a lot of people feeling confused, betrayed and kind of like their uncle got a sex change. nothing wrong with that, it's just not the same. so as ukrops/martins has begun to fall from the good graces of the virginians this has left some room for the other markets to move in.

first it was the radio ads by food lion (which i'm afraid of shopping at... i don't want to battle a lion for groceries! near diane's house food lion is called bloom. i'll shop there. it isn't as scary). food lion's ads went some thing along the lines of 'food lion is the only grocery store in virginia that has been in the family for fifty years... we'd never sell out or get a sex change.' they were obviously pandering to those who felt betrayed by their old family favorite.

next kroger decided to up the ante and relocated about a mile down the road to a bigger, brand new store. the kroger opened yesterday. today we ran out of vegetables so i was sent to the kroger. wow. so we pull up to a GIANT parking lot. and it was COMPLETELY full. in my head i think 'there must be a lot of people working.' when really i should have thought 'this shopping experience is going to be a nightmare.' after circling the parking lot and waiting for someone to leave and me shouting 'come on grandma, back it up!' we were finally able to secure a safe place to leave the car. the parking lot was odd b/c there were several cars parked haphazardly in the lot... barely in the lines, half way out into the lane. in my brain i think the people were so excited to get into the kroger that they just stopped their cars where ever and ran in without a care for what people were going to key into the side of their vehicle.

we walk through the sliding doors into a grocery wonderland. the first thing i see is a man in a tux playing a baby grand piano. in the middle of the day. a tux in the middle of the day?! these people mean business. caitlin and i make our way to the produce section, which has a nice floating sign that lets us know it's not referred to as the produce section, but rather 'the garden.' we collect our fruits and veges and make our way through the bakery section. we were distracted by some fancy cakes and we start discussing whether or not purchasing one is a good idea. i decide against it and say 'well if these were pumpkin pies i'd buy one.' i turn around and what do i find? not one but TWO tables of pumpkin pies. my hands were tied. i had *just* said i would buy a pumpkin pie if there was one... knowing, of course, that no one sells pumpkin pies in the summer. the table was even decorated with harvest-y decor, as if to say, 'we realize we shouldn't have these yet, so we've placed out these decorations to get the pumpkin pie gods off our tracks.' so i get a pumpkin pie and some cool whip b/c i have no choice and we make our way to the check out line.

as a side note i feel pretty fortunate to get to buy stuff for my job. it affords me the opportunity to purchase things in bulk from a store that does not sell things in bulk. for example, today i had to buy 15 avocados, 25 green peppers and 25 boxes of mushrooms. inevitably, the checker will try to guess what i'm going to do with all my stuff and they're always wrong. it's awesome.

anyway, we're waiting in the line and o magazine is there with oprah on the cover. i can't stand that woman but today she seemed to be calling out from the cover of the magazine 'welcome to kroooOOOooooger!' every time i glanced at the magazine i would laugh at the idea of oprah being there welcoming people to this new grocery store, which is evidently the biggest thing to happen in the west end since, well the ukrops changed to martins. (attention west enders: *please* get out more.)

anyway after the groceries are purchased we head to the most miserable part of any shopping experience. the kid who follows you to the car. HATE IT. so, ukrops decided it was good customer service to take everyone's groceries to their car. and now everyone else thinks they need to do it too. i don't want people going with me b/c 1. you have to make *akward* small talk 2. i can never find my car under pressure 3. i can do it myyyyyyyyself. i have often tried to refuse help, but they are tricky. they transfer your groceries into a different type of cart and then they say to you ' would you like assistance to your car?' and i say 'NO SIR I DO NOT.' to which they always reply 'well i can't let you take this cart outside...' because i'm not properly trained in the usage of their fancy bag boys carts, i guess. to which i reply ' well, i guess we're at an impasse. and since i've already paid for those groceries, lets do this.'

the worst thing is i generally walk around trying to look i'm saying 'don't talk to me... i don't like strangers' with my face, which, for what ever reason, says to richmonders 'hey come talk to me, i'd love to hear your life story.' and so i have to talk to this bag boy for ages (b/c i can't find my car while he's watching) and hear all about how his mom bought a new car or how he's been to dave & buster's before.

and this is why i hate grocery shopping. oh and i get followed and then hit on at the grocery store. but always by creepy guys. except you know, anyone who follows you around a grocery store seems creepy by the time you're face to face. doesn't matter who you are. at any rate, i'm considering throwing the towel on grocery shopping. i mean, tuxes in the middle of the day? i just can't keep up.

2010-07-28T21:48:00.006-04:00

this is a drawing i did of our well. it hates freedom. laurel is awesome and made it in to this lovely graphic with color. i've promised jessica that i will put in on a shirt for her some day.

anyway, our well is still holding the water hostage. we haven't had reliable, clean water in about a week. the well fixer upper people are paying our house a visit on friday. with any luck i'll be able to move home shortly after their visit. don't get me wrong, it's been great staying out here with kimy! she's a fun girl and she has cable, but there's something to be said for sleeping in your own bed surrounded by your stuff. i like my stuff. and i especially like being surrounded by it.

so i've been feeling down b/c kevin is gone (and by down, i mean i often start sobbing uncontrollably at weird moments) so i decided to take a trip to the temple this afternoon. since i live on the east coast this is not a minor commitment... we're talking a three hour drive each direction, if you're lucky. but it's totally worth it. anyway, i get an hour and a half into the drive when my friend let me know that the temple was closed for the day. so i got off the freeway and drove back an hour and a half. it was a huge disappointment and i'm trying to figure out what lesson i was supposed to learn from this. or maybe there isn't one. on the way up i was playing the ask the radio a question game as it is the long drive tradition. i asked the radio, 'what's my theme song for this evening?' and it responded with a song about following God. which i thought was nice but then i didn't get to go to the temple and i'm i'm still trying to figure out what exactly happened. thems the breaks some times i guess.

i'm still working on getting to a normal head space. i hope it happens soon. i just wish things were different right now. the idea that i'm struggling with right now is that it would be so much easier to just not get involved with people. to not become attached to people and places, but where's the living in that? if you don't risk things you never learn or grow. we all need to hurt some times. but it's just so easy to want to say never again. part of me is like 'hey elaina lets stop doing this, pretend it doesn't matter' and the other part of me is like 'shut up robot elaina, this is life so live it.' being a robot is easier but i don't think it's better.

seriously, guys!

2010-07-26T21:16:00.003-04:00

the last frame is how i feel about today. and yesterday. [click to enlarge]

latest project

2010-07-26T17:57:00.012-04:00

one day i decided i was going to cartoon random text messages i receive. it started with this:

the message was from jim and was 'i don't dig being miserable.'

since then i've done a few others... text messages, emails and a few randoms... all drawn on cocktail napkins. if you'd like an original mailed to you, just let me know. ::hahaha:: enjoy!

my bestie

2010-07-25T22:35:00.011-04:00

kevin leaves on his mission tomorrow. in honor of his departure, a list of my top ten favorite kevin moments. in no particular order:

10. the time i punched him in the stomach and as he doubles over he simply says "i've never been hit."

9. the first time i hung out with him we were at the movies and he totally commandeered my slurpee. months later when we talked about it he thought i was so generous b/c i was willing to share. i thought he was so weird for stealing some girl's slurpee.

8. sitting in the celestial room talking about our thoughts on life.

7. sitting on the porch talking late at night, watching the fire flies go by. it was the night that i had my inspiration for my fire fly analogy. for me, kevin was the epitome of a fire fly friendship. to be perfectly honest when i first met kevin i didn't like him much. ::hahaha:: i mean, the guy stole my slurpee! but, once i got to know him, it was impossible to imagine how i ever got a long without him.

6. in the dc celestial room there's an area near the ceiling that kind of sticks out, one time kevin said that he imagines that's where the angels sit. i always think about that whenever i'm there now.

5. when i found out my dad had cancer he was the person i called, the person i knew i could be a mess in front of. he came and sat with me all evening. i think i will miss this most of all... having him to turn to for support.

4. learning to bake bread... and then taking it to people.

3. all the time we've spent in the car. so much time in the car. singing along to the radio. talking. usually going no where at all. one afternoon we spent about three hours in the car driving around downtown richmond trying to find a cemetery. we found about 6 of them but by the time we found the one we wanted it was closed. but neither one of us cared.

2. one time we were sitting in the celestial room and one of the workers was walking around and he turned to me and said that's what i imagine you doing... hanging out in the celestial room all day. i just thought that was the best compliment a person could ever give.

1. the time he emailed me and said "i wrote a poem about my feelings for you" but really he meant "i wrote a poem about my feelings, for you [to read]." i still laugh when i think about that day.

and a bonus: this song the other night as we were driving back from the temple in raleigh this song started playing... and i started sobbing. ::hahaha:: luckily for kevin he was totally asleep (or was at least pretending to be asleep) so he didn't have to deal with me, once again, crying. my poor little robot!

my life has changed so much over the last 3 months. i have been truly blessed to have kevin as my bestie during these times. he was exactly the person i needed to get through some rough times. it was so reassuring to know that it was possible to spend time with someone and not feel like i constantly needed to entertain them. to be with someone and just be comfortable with being me. i don't know how i will get through the next few days without turning into a puddle, let alone the next two years. but, i have to say that i am extremely proud of kevin and his decision to serve the Lord. i know his life will be richly blessed and i look forward to seeing the way he grows and changes over the next two years. i know the Lord will provide for him... and will provide for me. you will be great, buddy!

and now, some of my favorite pictures of our adventures:

2010-07-18T19:51:00.001-04:00

some days we're just looking for distractions.

from life.
from the ups and the downs.
from people.
from choices.
from demands.
from ourselves.

i wish i knew some where to go on days like today.

how many either or's

2010-07-14T22:36:00.002-04:00

i'm really thankful to be teaching sunday school. it's the best thing going on these days. i just wanted to say how glad i am that i'm able to teach that class. it's something to stay good for.

i'm miserable bear today. i just feel down.

she's even got her very own ringtone

2010-07-11T21:36:00.002-04:00

this weekend i spent some time with my good friend diane. diane and i went to high school together and have both managed to wind up here in good ol' virginia. when we get together we generally spend a lot of time telling 'remember that time when...' stories that usually involve us doing something absurd.

for example diane's side view mirror was missing and it reminded me of this fieldtrip we took our freshman year of high school. a group of us were in the drama teacher's mini van, being driven by our english teacher. we get in the van and the first thing we notice is that the rear view mirror is missing. since i was riding shotgun i was enlisted to hold it up whenever we needed to change lanes. quickly after discovering the rear view mirror the kids assigned to the back of the van began shouting b/c instead of seats there were milk crates. the english teacher made them walk to the corner so we could get by without the school security guard seeing that a few of the kids were sitting on plastic crates. i have no recollection of what play we saw that day. the main thing i remain is kids sliding around, screaming in the back of this van.

the other day i was thinking about this time we had to write stories and jeff used the phrase "ghetto spaghetti." at the time that was comedic gold... and now, i really don't know why. but for whatever reason, when you're 15 that's the most brilliant thing you've ever heard.

i think i must be getting old b/c it seems like high school was a magical time. things were fun and silly and i didn't have to pay any bills. ha. actually, i guess not much has changed besides paying bills.

if you've never seen it check out getmortified.com. it's one of the funniest websites i've ever seen. watch the mortified shoebox show. i love it. as a person who as teenager was *obsessed* with everything elijah wood and lord of the rings (example: 1. the time line i have drawn out detailing my life from age 18 to 70... which has me married to elwood and even names all our future children 2. i sat on the sidewalk all day in la for the chance to meet elwood at the return of the king premiere... he ran by, didn't even stop to get married to me! 3. the time i told my friends 'i don't care if i never meet... i just hope he's happy.' *creeper*) it hits home. i like to think that i'm not nearly as dorky as i was... or least i cover it better and don't have large hoards of stalkerazzi newspaper clippings of strangers / hobbits (at least not that i'm going to admit to). but it's funny to look back at the people we were and how much of that person is still around.

america the beautiful

2010-07-05T19:54:00.012-04:00

sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. richmond is full of some interesting characters, that's for sure. but more on that later. first, 4th of july! here is a collection of pictures. i was trying to add captions but that's proving to take more patience than i currently have.

anyway, it was a really great trip and i had a lot of fun. it was great to see my friends in a different setting and to get to know people better and to just be away.

i had some really cool moments where i just thought 'i'm going to remember this forever.' i love moments like that. when we were coming home from the temple we stopped to get frosty's. daniel was driving his beast of a truck and we're in the parking lot and for whatever reason he decides to gun it in front of a car (i'm still not exactly sure what the thought process was... all i know is that it happened). i look to my right and i see a car coming directly towards me and start to freak out a bit and look forward to see if we will make it in time when i see that we're not coming to more parking lot but to a ravine. ok so it wasn't actually a ravine. it was more like a 2 foot slow drop to the other half of the parking lot, but still. daniel slams on his breaks and so does the other car. it was just like at the end of star tours where the robot almost smashes into that other transporter and the office. if it wasn't for the fact that i know you always stop in time and don't run into that office i might have freaked out. i have to tell you though... a frosty has never tasted quite so sweet. there's nothing like a near death experience to make you appreciate a vanilla frosty.

as smokey bones (aka kristi) and i were walking through the smithsonian i noticed people would turn and look at us funny every once in a while and so i started paying attention and realized that it b/c we sound pretty ridiculous when we're together. we like to joke around and talk in valley girls accents and say things that make us laugh... sadly the general population has no idea that we're not dumb... we're just hilarious. my favorite moment was when we walked up to a big necklace and smokey bones says loudly 'ooOOOoooh my goodness, it's that necklace from tiiiiiitaniiiiiiic!' to which i yelled back 'for sure, you're toooooootally right!!!' at which point a group of like 30 people turned and snarled at us. all i have to say to that is 'what would you dooOOooooOOOOOooo for a klondike bar?'

on the ride home i informed smokey bones and orin that they were 'like totally my new best friends' and then we had a blast having a dance party in the back seat of daniel's truck. we each discovered our inner rap video dancer and we totally invented a new dance move called the heart breaker.

sunday morning we missed church due to a miscalculation of the time vs walking ratio. so as to not feel totally guilty about church we all met in one hotel room and had a little meeting. we sang and prayed and i gave a little spiritual message and afterward we went around the room and we each said what we were thankful for. there were thoughts of country, servicemen, God and freedom and the wonderful things we enjoy as americans. it was such a wonderful feeling to hear a little of what each person was thinking that morning. i wish it happened more often that we got together and just talked about the things we are grateful for. it brings such a wonderful feeling to hear your friends talk about the things they hold in high esteem.

today was back to work. the suck. ha. i got 2 phone calls today. one was a lady telling me she was going to call me tomorrow. so that was productive. the second, oh the second, made me want to... uhmmm... set things on fire, i guess. anyway it was a guy calling to tell me that i didn't return his phone call... LAST AUGUST. and did he just want to complain about it? no, he wanted to know why. you want to know why i didn't call you back almost a year ago?!? maybe it was b/c i realized you were INSANE. he said you went on vacation last august and never called me back, do you remember going on vacation? and i said yeah i probably went on vacation but i don't remember not returning your phone call. why would i remember not returning a phone call from when i was on vacation a year ago?!? really what he wanted was to book a party this august and get free stuff. which was awesome and made me want to set even more things on fire. ilovemyjobilovemyjobilovemyjob.

speaking of setting things on fire, i'd really like to see some more fireworks about now. there's nothing i love as much as a good fireworks show.

sometimes i feel like i'm a million miles away from me. whatever that means. there are things i wish were part of my life, people i want to be with, things i wish i was. all in time, i suppose. i'm grateful to have such good friends out here to have adventures with and to share laughs with. i'm even more grateful for the handful that i feel like i can just be me with... no need to entertain or charm or impress... just me for who i am. it's a comfort to have that.

silver spoon and a paper plate

2010-07-02T22:16:00.002-04:00

tonight was my first day back on the running trail after a month or so break. taking a break was a big mistake. ugh. the run seemed to be far worse than the first time i did it! at about mile 3 i was toast. shaky legs, queasy and wanting to die. the good and bad news at that point is that either direction is 3 miles. so the options or to either keep going or to sit and spend the night in the forest. so i'm currently here in the forest writing a blog entry to pass the time. not. that's right... 6 miles and 2 hours (yikes) later we were back at the car. and now whenever i move my legs up or down my hands have to help them. i don't think playing ultimate frisbee yesterday helped with the leg pain today. ugh. oh well. it was good to get out and get some sun and air and some exercise.

my favorite holiday is coming soonsies! yeah ya do 4th of july! a group of us (and a billion other people) will be celebrating in style at the nation's capitol. i'm pretty excited b/c after this weekend i will get to check off one of my 2010 goals... concert! the capitol 4th concert is reba, gladys knight, darius rucker and some other folks. i'm preeeeeeetty excited. i'm also looking forward to some serious spa time at the hotel. yum.

what would...

2010-06-22T22:17:00.003-04:00

this evening i was reminded of a story. and there's nothing i love quite as much as a story to tell. once upon a time, about a year ago, in a land far far away, called arizona, there lived a beautiful princess, me.

anyway... so i had applied to be transferred to virginia and went through a wildly extensive interview process (which is absurd to look back on now, knowing how the last year has played out) and after many months of fretting over whether or not i was going to get the position, i was finally given word that i had indeed passed the tests and would shortly be packing up my belongings and moving across the country. a few days later the panic set in. i remember standing in a hall looking at the flier for the richmond, va location, seeing the pictures that represented this city that had more chosen me than i had it, when the kitchen manager walked up and asked me what i was doing.

this is when i went into girl panic mode and began rattling off the list of things that i was thinking mostly along the lines of how will i get all my stuff in a uhaul? how will i drive it across the country? who will unload it? what will i do when i get there? what if it snows (which of course it doesn't do in virginia... riiiiight)? how will i meet people? what if i'm all alone?

and he turned and looked and me and said, well...

what would mary tyler moore do?

at which point i laughed and said you're right and walked back to my office and created the above image which i kept pinned up next to my monitor until i left. when i got to virginia i put it on the fridge, which is where it is currently. mary, ever vigilante, reminding me that we're gonna make it after all, every day.

today at work my domo and jimtwo were telling secrets. i happened to catch them and was able to snap a picture before yelling: secrets secrets are no fun!

thursday i have a tour of a local school. i'm looking into a massage therapy / associates program. it takes 16 months to complete. i'm pretty excited about it. i've had the idea of going into massage therapy on my mind for years... probably about 7 or 8 years i've been thinking about it. but i just never really thought of it as a real option before. but now i think it might be. and i'm pretty excited. i feel good about the decision to pursue this. it's hard to explain why i feel like this is the right choice for me, but trust me i have reasons for moving in this direction. if you want further clarification let me know, i'd be happy to indulge you.

a lot of big things have happened in life over the last few months. i keep on moving along. some times when i stop and think about the things that have happened i don't believe it. i'm thankful that the lord has blessed me with resiliency... and probably a bad memory.

i'm sure i've said this before but i will tell the story again... it was a few months back that i realized i'm an eternal optimist. i was in one of those periods where everything just seemed to be going immensely well and i found myself thinking 'i don't know how i could ever stop feeling this happy.' it seemed totally inconceivable to me that anything could happen to make me feel sad. and then i realized that this happens all the time. i get to a point where i am just so happy that i don't think it will ever stop... and i know in my head that eventually i will have pain again but in my heart i just don't remember what it was like... even though yesterday was painful and tomorrow holds that possibility, for today it's just not fathomable. today i am happy and way down deep inside me where all the important stuff is (like my social security number, pictures of my family and the memory of the way chocolate tastes) something just screams EVERYDAY WILL BE LIKE THIS! and i believe it. every time.

i think about the story of the brother of jared a lot. the brother of jared is a figure from the book of mormon. the brother of jared builds a barge for his family to travel across the ocean in and it's much like a walnut shell. the brother of jared at one point realizes that they're going to need a way to be able to see while traveling in the barges. so he makes some stones out of molten rock and takes them to a mountain and asks the Lord to touch them with his finger so that they will shine in the darkness and light the barges. at which point the brother of Jared sees the Lord's finger touch each stone. the story continues on but this is the point that i like to think about. one time we were discussing this in class and someone asked if the Lord's finger came from the sky and i thought about that a lot and i realized something... probably the thing that was the most shocking for the brother of jared... the Lord's finger didn't come down from the sky or anything like that because the Lord was there with him the entire time. the Lord has been there standing beside him, speaking to him, watching him. the same as any man sits in a room with you but it wasn't until he saw His finger that he realized just how close the Lord was. What a shock that must have been! often as we pray we feel as though God is some where distant, a millions miles away, but in all actuality, He is standing beside us. kneeling beside our beds, riding in our cars, bowing His head over our dinners.

i'm on a classical music kick. i don't know what it is. it just makes me feel good these days.

for some occasions words just won't do.

2010-06-16T23:10:00.003-04:00

ahem

2010-06-12T23:40:00.002-04:00

i have many things to talk about but not the time at the moment. i was doing some studying for my sunday school lesson and was particularly touched by beauty of the 13th article of faith. it's something to strive for as a way of life. more updates, maybe tomorrow. for now, enjoy this:

"We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul- We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things."

and as for me, ahhh you'll see

2010-06-07T23:58:00.004-04:00

i was just looking at the pictures from cici's birthday party over the weekend and suddenly all the things that seemed so hugely wrong with my little universe don't matter so much. i love my family very much and i miss them. i hope to some day have a daughter with as much spunk and sense of humor. she really is a special little girl!

in other news, work was an up and down, up and down day. i promise i go there every day with the intention of being happy. actually i go there praying that things will go well, that i won't be overwhelmed, that i will be calm and understanding. i go with good intentions and the desire to work and take care of the things that need to be done. anywho, today started off pretty good. james gave me a dog that i named jim 2.

he can wag his tail, bark and walk forward and backward. pretty amazing. and his fur is really soft.

i had a series of interesting things happen. booked quite a few events, did a good job with that. got in a fight with a manager b/c he says i'm mean and i told him it's just b/c he is annoying and a baby. had some of the other special events people ask me if i had gotten my prize yet... which is 6 weeks late now and of course i haven't.

anyway, work ended on a frustrating note. it's a really long story that would take ages to explain but the short version is what i do isn't important. i mean, i've always known that what i do isn't important... i plan parties in an arcade... it's nothing great... but today it was clear that what i do isn't even important to the company i work for. ::sigh:: i used to enjoy this job. i might even say i used to love it. and not even that long ago. 6 months ago! a year ago i was putting in 50 hour work weeks, working hard, wanting to be there. now they're lucky if i'm there 30 hours and it becomes more and more difficult to care about anything that goes on there. when i had my review a couple weeks back i told my boss that if my job was to stop being there tomorrow i wouldn't care one bit. i think he was taken aback. but that's life.

the silver lining, i called my boss and confronted him on it within an hour. that's a much quicker turn around for me. that's some serious progress on my communication skills, so at least there's that. he's supposed to get back to me tomorrow with an answer. i don't care if they change their minds b/c at this point it isn't about the thing that happened, it's about the job in general.

the only thing keeping me here at this point is that i'm in a lease until march. march is a long time from now and you never know what can happen in that time but i know i can't keep doing this forever... living my life like this.

tonight we watched spice world. funny story, we were attempting to find a copy of spice world on saturday night and i called best buy and asked if they had it and the lady laughed at me and asked if i was serious. it was pretty much the suck. luckily barnes and noble had it. i will always love the spice girls. always.

i taught sunday school for the first time yesterday. it went well. nothing over the top crazy. i'm teaching next sunday as well... on the gathering of israel. we'll see how that goes! i have a partner that i teach the class with. we rotate weeks of teaching. he seems like he's a pretty cool guy and i'm looking forward to teaching with him. here's to hoping it all goes well. after the class was over i felt grossly inadequate but all you can do is keep learning and growing, right? i feel like in the past i taught on more of softer, subjective information and this class is strictly doctrine. it's a little daunting to know that you're teaching doctrine to people who, for the large part, have never heard it before. it's a lot of responsibility and it has been weighing heavily on my heart the last couple days. i am grateful for the opportunity to teach though... to teach and to learn.

on a final note, i had someone ask me if my blog about needing to have a tough conversation with someone was about them and it wasn't but they had been worried it was. in case anyone is in that same boat, if you're reading this it wasn't about you.

it's like thunder and lightning, the way you love me is frightening

2010-06-03T22:51:00.004-04:00

anne and i went to pho so for dinner tonight. i love that place. and i will show you why:

these are pork and shrimp rolls. and they are fabulous. i get these every time we go. i also get some chicken pho. and i feel so fancy when i eat it... even though it's not fancy at all. so we're sitting there enjoying our pho and some lovely conversation when who should walk in, but two dudes from church. we wound up sitting at the table with them while they ate. hopefully they didn't mind the fact that we decided to join them. though really, they knew we were going to be there since i had posted on my facebook that we were on our way to pho so. so really, i think that makes us even. they crashed our restaurant, we crashed their dinner.

after dinner i really wanted some ice cream (it was probably daniel's detailed description of a sundae he got at baskin robbins that put the idea in my head). so we made our way to coldstone creamery, where i got french vanilla ice cream with pound cake in a waffle bowl. we then went back to the house where i put a blanket on the front lawn and brought out a lantern and ate my ice cream while reading some stuff for church. after a bit i noticed some flashes of light in the sky and i was worried that lightning was coming... and then i realized it was coming from the same place in a regular pattern. i started to pay a bit more attention and realized it was the fireworks display from the baseball stadium. i stretched out on my back and enjoyed the free fireworks show. if you've known me very long you know how i dearly love fireworks and it was just a wonderful treat to get to watch some from my lawn. after the fireworks were over i stayed outside for a while watching fire flies loop by. until the actual lightning started and i packed it up and headed inside.

now i'm listening to and watching the evening's thunderstorm roll through. i don't know that i will ever get used to them. the lightning is the worst part. it conjures up images of scary movies in my head. every time the lightning cracks i expect to find a face illuminated in the window. and the idea of that really, really creeps me out. i wish the mental image would go away... but i'm stuck with it.

at any rate it was an extremely enjoyable evening. even though i didn't get the laundry done i still feel like i accomplished a lot. a lot of more important things. laundry will always be around, evenings like tonight won't.

in the past few months i've had a lot of odd experiences where things just seem to work out in odd ways. odd odd odd. like i will just not be expecting something to happen and then it will either happen in an unexpected way or something else will happen or i will get some sort of message that makes everything ok. here is the latest story:

a few months back i was having a really rough time dealing with a confrontation and my buddy nate suggested that i read the book critical conversations. i tried to find it at a couple bookstores without any luck and gave up and forgot about the book. so last night i was talking to my sister about a situation i'm currently working on. my sister was saying that i needed to confront the person and i sort it out but i really was like meh i don't want to have that conversation. anyway, i get to work this morning and i have an email from a random company saying would you like a free copy of the book critical conversations? if so please send a message to such and such email address. so i shoot over an email asking for details on what i need to do thinking there will be all sorts of conditions. a couple hours later i get an email back saying your copy of the book is in the mail.

so random. i'm the kind of person that has always looked at that kind of thing as a call to action. a confirmation that yes indeed action is required. who knows.

today my work buddy was attempting to cheer me up as he is often wont to do. he said don't worry one day when we don't work here we'll get married and there will be kids and a white picket fence. and i said do you know what i want to do? i want to go to school to be a massage therapist! and he said that would be great, you could do awesome things like go on cruises for months and work giving massages. and i said i don't want to do that! and he said well, why not? and i said i couldn't abandon our children! at which point he looked at me like i was the crazy one. so it's only funny when he talks about our future children but not me?! so not fair.

speaking of jokes that aren't funny, we had this lady coming in today and her last name with knotts. and the boys proceeded to make lots of jokes about how she can help boy scouts and sailors with tying knots. and i said yeah why don't you ask her if she owns the berry farm! at which point i got blank expressions. and i was just like dang it you guys, if this was california you would know what i was talking about! and they were just like uhmm whatever. it's sad when jokes are geographical... and you're in the wrong place!

i wish there was some place doing a haunted house right now. i would totally be down with that!

location, location, location

2010-06-02T20:35:00.002-04:00

so today i was thinking about how i wish i knew of a nice place to go sit and think. a place that is calm and safe and just feels still. i have this mental image of what it should feel like. i suppose a feeling isn't a mental image. it's a mental feeling, which is better than feeling mental. at any rate i spent a considerable amount of time trying to figure out where this place was this morning. slowly the details were coming to me.

it's dark there.
it's cool.
it's on a hill.
you can see all the city lights sparkling like a million diamonds.

and then i remembered! i've been trying to find the hill behind the house i grew up in. sadly, that hill is some 3000 miles away and it's not a place i will be sitting tonight. or tomorrow. none the less, i would still like to find a place to think here in richmond. i could use a good think. there is much going on in life right now.

the other night i sat on the front steps, watching the fireflies flicker by in the middle of the night. there's nothing i love in this world as much as watching the fireflies. and i will tell you why. i think fireflies are like getting to know someone. generally when you get to know someone you're just going along and then suddenly you will have these moments when you see that person for who they really are, in all their wonderful glory. you thought they were just some regular bug flying around and then suddenly in an instant you can see what this person really is, and it's magnificent, beautiful, uniquely them. and that's not something you forget.

this leads me to my theories on relationships. which i will happily share with you, my lovely bloggies. i think as you get to know someone you will have these firefly moments, if you will. and each time you do a golden, silk thread is tied from your heart to the other person's. sometimes you will be tied to a person by 5 strands, sometimes 5,000. the more strands you have, the greater a bond there is with that person. and by the time you're getting ready to be married to a person you have so many strands that you're connected by a thick rope. when a couple is married in the temple for all eternity that rope is turned into something like a thick steel cable, unbreakable. and this is why it's so important to share of yourself.

i feel like this explanation doesn't do the mental image that i have justice, but that's the only way i know to describe the feeling i have.

i hate folding laundry. i'd just like to throw that out there. i'm only one person and yet there seems to be a never ending supply of clothing to wash and fold. do i really need to wear clothes every day?!? yes, i suppose i do.

i've been sitting, waiting, wishing.